I just need some validation of sorts
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|Mon, 11-14-2011 - 8:48am|
I want baby #2 so bad it's turning me into a crazy person. Every time we BD, I'm like "I'm pregnant. I mean, I had EWCM, and I felt a twinge in my abdomen just then. I'm totally pregnant. Yippee!" I mean, when we started trying, DD was about 9 months old and my ovulation hadn't even re started. (I know, trust me. The anovulatory periods are HORRIBLE. It's like a horror movie.)
But I get so wrapped up! I mean I finally got a BB thermometer and one of those massive O&P test stick packages from amazon (100 of the O and 20 of the P), and tested every day for thirty days for the egg, and never ovulated. I would have temperature jumps, and then they'd go away after 3 days. So frustrating. It happened 3 times. At 30 days, I assumed I'd get my period and I quit. It turned out to be a 49 day cycle, but the period landed me in the hospital, so I know I didn't ovulate.
I hope I'm ovulating now; DD is 15 months old, 16 here in a couple weeks. I just gave up hope after all that effort and high hopes that month. I mean my emotions were crazy high-hopeful, and then when my body was like "sorry, no dice" I was SO BUMMED OUT. I haven't had the cahones to even take my BBT since then, I'm so scared of disappointment.
I'm hoping we got an egg and planted it this go round. BD on the 7th, the 11th, and the13th. I used instead cups to keep hold the spermies to cervix on the 11th, forgot about it, took it out about 10 hours late, and had EWCM in it. So the 11th and the 13th BD were 36 hours apart....not bad odds, I think, if that EWCM ACTUALLY corresponded to an egg. But I've had EWCM off and on on my anovulatory cycles. So....anyway. My last cycle seemed pretty regular. Here's hoping. I want another one so bad.