I just need some validation of sorts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
I just need some validation of sorts
8
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 8:48am

Hi.

I want baby #2 so bad it's turning me into a crazy person. Every time we BD, I'm like "I'm pregnant. I mean, I had EWCM, and I felt a twinge in my abdomen just then. I'm totally pregnant. Yippee!" I mean, when we started trying, DD was about 9 months old and my ovulation hadn't even re started. (I know, trust me. The anovulatory periods are HORRIBLE. It's like a horror movie.)

But I get so wrapped up! I mean I finally got a BB thermometer and one of those massive O&P test stick packages from amazon (100 of the O and 20 of the P), and tested every day for thirty days for the egg, and never ovulated. I would have temperature jumps, and then they'd go away after 3 days. So frustrating. It happened 3 times. At 30 days, I assumed I'd get my period and I quit. It turned out to be a 49 day cycle, but the period landed me in the hospital, so I know I didn't ovulate.

I hope I'm ovulating now; DD is 15 months old, 16 here in a couple weeks. I just gave up hope after all that effort and high hopes that month. I mean my emotions were crazy high-hopeful, and then when my body was like "sorry, no dice" I was SO BUMMED OUT. I haven't had the cahones to even take my BBT since then, I'm so scared of disappointment.

I'm hoping we got an egg and planted it this go round. BD on the 7th, the 11th, and the13th. I used instead cups to keep hold the spermies to cervix on the 11th, forgot about it, took it out about 10 hours late, and had EWCM in it. So the 11th and the 13th BD were 36 hours apart....not bad odds, I think, if that EWCM ACTUALLY corresponded to an egg. But I've had EWCM off and on on my anovulatory cycles. So....anyway. My last cycle seemed pretty regular. Here's hoping. I want another one so bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 4:18am

:) I literally have a friend praying rosaries during this 2WW for twins for me! :) Ahh.... only time will tell.

newsiggy_Page_0
Community Leader
Registered: 06-01-2004
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 1:02pm
Oh twins would be fun :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 12:42am

haha. Yeah we're all crazy. I can tell you though that it doesn't get any better / easier. I've been at this for two years... (ack!) and still every single cycle I'm thinking "this is it"

newsiggy_Page_0
Community Leader
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 4:16am
I think we can all we be considered crazy throughout some of this TTC process....it can be maddening trying to read all the signs and our minds can play such tricks on us when you want something so badly. I have been on this board for 4 + years and can tell you that it is rare for anyone to not hit the grad section sooner then later. It is hard to hear but time and patience are your best tools - and usually when someone types a post like this, they are showing up with BFP's like a week later lol :) Good luck and don't give up hope - until then, you have us to vent to.
Hugs, Jasmine
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2009
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 3:57pm

hi, my #1 was a suprise after years of unexplained infertility and after she was born i was so despeate to do it all over again. kept reading into every little sign, started temping and charting poas every day to see if i was about to O. i used up all the 100 sticks and 20 pg tests.

in the end i found its just best to let go of the desperation. i keep monitoring my bbt and cm but try not to read too much into ewcm and temp rises when bf because they are quite common. by all means keep bding and believe you will be pregnant again, just when the time is right and your body is ready. that sounds impossible i know.

everyones body is different too my cycles didnt return until i stopped bf and

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:12am

Am kind of new too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:10am
See, my first baby was a COMPLETE surprise, Navy medical had just told me I was probably not fertile because of hypothyroidism (which is now treated, so I should be pretty back-to-normal), and then BAM. Surprise, late AF, wth, pee on a stick, BINGO! I wasn't even trying. (But I was excited!) So I'm new to the whole actively trying thing. I should just make this my home page so I keep myself thinking about it and taking my vitamins and not giving up. I mean, it's bound to be my turn sometime, right? I hope...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 9:03am

If you are crazy I am too!!!!!!