oh who knows...
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|Mon, 09-06-2010 - 1:03am|
my woomb feels empty. and I'm sad. I guess we all can sympathise right? I posted this on my crafty blog today:
"I want to make beautiful things... and I want to make a baby."
Somehow the two are the same. My sewing/quilting is a response to my inability to get pregnant? At least I can still create something even if I haven't been able to create a baby. Is it too much for people to understand that?
It just sucks when you're on that date with the hubby... you know the first one in more than a month. I was there next to him in the movie theater, and I just knew. I could get pregnant today. If I am not ovulating today, than I will be very soon. I know. It's like second nature now. I just know my body. So why does that suck? I'm having surgury friday. I can't even try tonight. As much as I really want to, as much as I really want to be with my husband. I can't. Anesthesia, and crazy sterroids = not good if you were just barely pregnant. But I feel it. I could get pregnant today.
DH is going to Arizona on tuesday. It's very sudden and really not the best time, but his job requires it. He'll be there for a month. He's really battling right now, with an addiction to food. He's on the front lines. It's really not fun. I'm not sure if I'm helping him in this battle or not. He has what it takes and will make it through on top.
I feel so intense right now. I nearly teared up while looking at a beautifully embroidered saying, on a quilt, on flickr. Intense.