ot-nightweaning vent and btdt advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
ot-nightweaning vent and btdt advice
9
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 12:58pm

I know this is kinda off-topic, but it's also not, because night nursing is, I'm sure, impacting my fertility hugely. I'm doing a very gentle nightweaning with DD(20 months), mostly using Pantley's methods, and a few things that work for her. It's been going well, but not...


She's sleeping at least 5 hours straight through, and a couple of times she's slept 7 or 8 hours. That's a huge improvement for her, she was waking every 2-3 hours all night long. But, 3 times this week, she's woken up at some point, and stayed awake for 2-6 hours, before going back to sleep. It's almost like she's going, wow, got some good sleep, now I'm done. But, it'll be at 2:30 in the morning. She's not teething in any way, and she's never done this while she was teething. She doesn't seem to be in any discomfort, but she's fidgety and awake. The first night,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2000
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 2:16pm

HUGS, 'cause this is hard!!

When Anthony truly started sleeping through the night (like 7-8 hours) after about 2 months of weaning the night nursings out completely, he did go through a phase where he'd wake a couple of times a night--- I think he was just trying to see if I would give in and nurse (because that is SOOO much easier than waking up and playing the willpower game at 2 a.m.!!!) I didn't give in and it sorted itself out.

For what it's worth, I think the offer of 15 minutes may become confusing and more frustrating for her. Maybe you could start by setting timeframes that you WON'T nurse. For example, if she goes down at 8 pm, your timeframe could be 8 pm-12am with NO nursing. Anytime after 12 pm, she can nurse (and you can limit the latch on time from there). Eventually, she will learn that "OK Mommy's not giving up the milk, so I may as well sleep". After success to 12am, start moving the time up-- let's say 2am. And keep the same routine, slowly pushing back the time.

Another thing that was REALLY important for the night waking (for Anthony anyway), was to make sure that even if he woke, I kept the lights off, didn't talk to him AT ALL so he didn't think it was OK to be up and awake and interacting at that time, and I tried to simulate the "bedtime routine" as much as possible--- for him it was sitting in the rocker (holding him not nursing b/c I didn't want him to start expecting it) and putting his bedtime lullaby cd on. Usually, he'd go back to sleep before the cd was over, but if not, I'll lay him down and just pat his back until he fell asleep again (this sometimes took a couple of hours from start to finish). BUT I NEVER SAID A WORD!!!! and it worked really well. I was basically comforting him, but not nursing him and not engaging.

It may be worth trying a "quiet time" during the day even if she's not taking a nap. Set her up in the bed with a book or with a soothing cd and just let her lay there for a little while. It may be that she's actually over-tired by the time she goes to sleep and her body isn't adjusting to the overstimulation. You could push back bedtime a little bit at time (like 15 minutes at a time) to see if it helps, but I wouldn't do too much because you may add to over tired toddler, which is never good :)

Good luck! I know it's tough-- and probably tougher when co-sleeping because she is so used to a certain routine. It WILL get better!!!!

karen lynn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 4:06pm

Yeah.....we went through this. Still do, occasionally--though it's much better.

I should preface this by saying I don't do cry it out--at all--well, for more than a couple of minutes anyway......

Like you my dc used to wake every couple of hours to nurse. Since really trying to cut back (about 6 weeks ago) we are down to waking just once in the night. Some days, though, she wakes more....and some days she sleeps through. She doesn't go to bed until 9 though...if she went to bed at 7, she'd be up for the day by 4 a.m. Overall, I am very pleased with her progress. : )

Anyway.....there are nights once in awhile when she just keeps waking up. Or like you're having now....a bad week. Ten minutes after I nurse her, she's up....all night long. No teething, nothing I can pinpoint. Just restlessly waking up all night. Totally sucks. What I did was nurse her a bit and then stop and roll over. At first she fussed, sometimes even cried...if she cried for more than a couple of minutes, I'd let her nurse again....and try maybe 5 minutes later. If I stayed facing her, she'd root around and scream for milk But if I rolled over, she seemed to accept the situation. Eventually, she'd let me roll over and she'd go to sleep. It often took a few times--at least. BUT.....after a few successful times of stopping nursing while she was still nursing.....it got easier. I now do this at other times, too....when she's not having a bad night. The more often I can shorten a nursing, the more used to it she gets. When she woke last night, I nursed her for maybe one minute and rolled over. She fussed a bit, kind of pawed my back and promptly went to sleep.

Having said all of that....this is one way I use to overall improve the situation. On really bad nights, it works sometimes, sometimes not. All I can tell you is it's usually a phase.

Like I said, I'm not the cry it out type......I'm sure there's a faster way to handle it, but this is my way...has been for 6 kids now and I've survived! Every once in awhile, I AM a walking zombie, though...so I hear you!

Good luck finding what works for you. Go to bed early!!!


Dee -- Homeschooling mom of 6 -- Forty-four and praying for 1 more!


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Dee -- Homeschooling mom of 6 -- Forty-four and praying for 1 more!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 5:07pm

DD1 went through something similar when she was around that age.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 8:44pm

Karen Lynn,


So many good ideas, as always.


DD is actually getting more sleep than she ever has, and she's very high needs, so it's impossible to miss when she's tired or overstimulated....
We do a quiet time where we nurse on the bed for about 30 minutes. It's when we used to do naptime. I miss naptime :(


The thing that's so confusing is that, we've cut back most of her wakeups to just a minute or so of nursing, pull off early, and she turns her back and goes back to sleep. These wakeups are totally different. She wakes up completely, eyes wide open, as though she thinks it's 8 am....And stays awake. Forever.


I like your ideas of not interacting and playing the lullaby cd we play to go to bed. I will definitely incorporate that. Reading your post also made me realize that she hasn't been showing any tired signs at all when I put her down at 7....she's very obvious when she's ready for bed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 9:01pm

Hiya,


I don't do CIO either. With a high needs lo, though, I've had to modify to be ok with occasionally crying in arms. I should have said she fussed last night, though, to be honest. It wasn't true crying, and I was holding her or laying next to her the whole time. Except when I tried saying the meemees were sleeping. That was NOT ok :(

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 9:03pm

Hi Jen,


We cut out the nap a fewmonths ago. She was staying up way later than I could handle with just one nap a day.


But, I think you're onto something. I think she needs to go to bed later than she is.
Why is it that just when you figure out what works, they change it?


Thanks!


Sunday

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 9:53pm

Hey Sunday,


We're actually going thru something similar, but i've contributed our wakings to starting DC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 10:32pm

Hi Julia,


11:00, yikes. That does suck!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Sun, 08-15-2010 - 8:42am

So many good ideas.....I have just a minute but I wanted to second the idea of a tape or CD. We listen to a story or song tape every night to go to bed---all the kids in the room with youngest DD and me (while I nurse her to sleep). Yesterday, for some weird reason, DD took a nap. A long one. She is done with naps...so when bedtime came she was NOT ready.

After about 15 minutes of nursing on my VERY sore, pre-af boobs, I couldn't take it. I rolled over, but she wasn't sleepy enough. She was having NONE of that. So I nursed her one more minute just to calm her down and put the story tape back on. She started listening and calmed down. So I rolled over and she listened for half an hour without nursing and finally just fell asleep.

I have done this in the middle of the night, too. So if it's the "I'm up and ready to play" type of thing and not just the fussy, tired, need a minutes to nurse back to sleep type of thing, a story or song CD might help.

And THEN, when you get this sorted out.....it'll be something new! LOL!


Dee -- Homeschooling mom of 6 -- Forty-four and praying for 1 more!


Photobucket


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/da296




Dee -- Homeschooling mom of 6 -- Forty-four and praying for 1 more!