Sorry MIA/ Miss you! Update (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Sorry MIA/ Miss you! Update (long)
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 4:20pm

I miss you guys all so much & feel really awful about not having been around. Please give me an update on yourself!
We have been going through some real bad times & I have been totally exhausted & haven't had a minute to myself. Miraculously the babies have survived through everything & are doing exceptionally well. I am not even on bed rest thank God. I don't know how much worse things could have gotten if I needed help also. Here's an update. I'll have to post one on the boards as well.
It started over the summer when my Aunt died. My dad took that pretty hard & we all went out of town to be with the family. Then my crazy sister in law attacked my brother & he had her arrested. The judge released her to their home & my brother & his son came to live with me for a bit. My nephew was very scarred by her & had become violent & angry. Eventually she got the child back because my brother couldn't afford the lawyers who wanted $5000 up front before doing anything at all. We are behind on our bills as I haven't been able to work so we couldn't help with that. I had to sub contract all of my work due to Drs. orders. I hired 3 photogs & each one messed up on a job so that was a nightmare but I got though it with mostly happy customers.
My mom then took a fall breaking her elbow. They wouldn't do anything about it until she went through 3 weeks of testing to be cleared for surgery because she has other medical problems. We were running her around to the Doctors for awhile. All of my parents & my doctors are 1 1/2 hours away from here so every visit is an all day affair. She wound up in the joint hospital in Manhattan & we were taking turns with my brother taking dad to see her most every day for another 3 weeks. This is a 2 hour trip each way from here. She got out of the hospital just days before she had a baby shower planned for me. My Aunt & cousins helped her & the shower was really great. 2 days later on Monday, my dad had a heart attack & wound up in the hospital, again 1 1/2 hour trips each way. By Wednesday they had tested him & had to do an emergency double bypass. That was a really rough couple of days. We thought we might lose him. My DH was luckily on vacation for a week as we had to take mom home with us & she couldn't get up to go to the bathroom by herself. DH was up every 2 hours taking her to the bathroom & the phone was ringing day & night with the family so we got no sleep. I needed to get mom & dad into a rehab facility as DH & my brother needed to get back to work. Lack of $$ has become a real problem. I couldn't be left alone with the 2 of them as I could not lift them & take care of them without risking a problem with the PG. Dad was no problem getting into rehab but since Mom had been out of the hospital for over a week I had a hard time getting her in. The only one who could authorize insurance covered in-patient therapy for her was her general Dr. & he said it was a lot of paper work & he was too busy. I was so upset & will report him. Luckily my neighbor works as a supervisor at a nearby facility so he pulled some strings & got them in together. I had to take care of their bills & all their laundry & believe me that was enough to do. We are planning on putting them into my brother's rental home as the tenant is now out & there is a full bathroom downstairs. We are just having some trouble getting enough custodial care to help them as my DH & brother have to work full time & I can't do very much to help them. They got out of rehab & have been with me for the holidays. Mom is still having trouble getting herself up with the one arm & probably won't have any use of it for another month still as Dr says elbows take a long time to mend.
In the mist of all this we had the holidays to get through, trying to prepare to babies' room & lots of trouble that I have spent weeks on the phone trying to straighten out. We had my husband's union to fight with about my medication, (that took 3 months), our first IVF Dr. taking us to collections for $20 ( he had already collected $60 more in co pays than allowed by law), & our insurance co. losing the proof of that 3 times so far (still waiting for the docs in the mail). Disability turned me down 3 times despite my previous pg losses & all my Drs. notes saying not to work & now having me go to hearings (2nd one coming up, ins co. didn't show first time). My parents neighbor in NY reporting us for water in the pool, a mosquito hazard despite the fact that we have an automatic pump that goes on every time it rains. (he has thrown nails in our driveway, throws his barbecue grease over fence into our yard & begged DH to plow his driveway 2 years ago promising to shovel dad walkway. Dh plowed, but he never shoveled anything but S**t. I am the trustee & may have to pay $4000 in fines & 60 days in jail despite the fact that nothing was found. We hope they will postpone this until after the babies come. My in laws have been difficult with everything from saying we should not have anything prepared for the babies until after they arrive because it will cause bad luck, ( can't imagine trying to do all that with 2 newborns not to mention that furniture & the twin stroller takes so long to get) to who we choose for Godparents. They think a nursery is ridiculous & that the babies would be just fine sleeping with us even though DH's sister had a beautiful nursery for her kids & they had rooms & furniture for them when Dh & sis were babies. They say we are different because we don't have that kind of money & it is unnecessary.
I have been in & out of the hospital every 3 weeks with the IVIG & did really great with the Pg. I am finally done with that & going into my 34th week. I hope I don't go into labor for another 4 - 6 weeks because I still have so much to do to prepare for them. The highlight of my days has been feeling them move around, I love that so much. Haven't had time to take any belly shots & I'm a professional photog! Going to ask a coworker & see if I can get it done maybe in the next week or so. Hope the babies wait!
Hope all is going well with all of you & that all of your dreams come true! Keep me posted!

Lilypie Baby Days
Lilypie Baby Days
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 10:54am

Hi Lisa,

We missed you greatly here! I am so happy to hear from you! Even though it sounds like you have been through the wringer, but what a joy that you are getting close to your due date and the time you will meet your babies. I am so sorry to hear about all the tough things that have happened in your family and I hope your Dad is feeling better now. I had a scare with my Dad(who is now 81 years young!) several years ago and we also nearly lost him from an aortic aneurism. He had gone into the hospital for some standard tests because of a severe backache (that had nothing to do with the aneurism) and in the process of all the screening, they discovered that this aneurism was about ready to burst and would have killed him. So that was taken care of. They also found he had major blockage in his heart and so they put some stents in some key areas to keep the valves open. It was quite an ordeal for him and it took him 6 months to a year to recover. Anyway, even though his life has slowed down considerably he still travels whenever he gets the chance and seems to be in pretty good health now.

I also took a break from the boards for quite some time and focused on getting well. I still am working on getting healthy from the chronic fatigue syndrome and have made some progress but still have "bad" days. My naturapath thinks I should actively start working on getting prg in the New Year and that is indeed my plan. I will still need to convince my BF to pay for treatments from Dr. Beer because I believe that I should go to him.
I did have a birthday in December (and turned 44....yikes!!!) but I am trying not to panic. It is hard because I don't think I have ever wanted something so much in my life (to have a healthy pregnancy and hold my own baby in my arms!!) Christmas can be hard sometimes especially when visiting my brother who has 4 kids, most of them grown up now except for an 11 year old. His wife(she is 46) made a comment about how she couldn't imagine having a child at this age, and I am sure they wonder about me. I have never told them about my mcs.

I also need to have a serious talk to my BF about possibly doing IVF, acupuncture and Dr. Beer together, but we might have to find another insurance company that might offer some better coverage than we currently have.

I wanted to give you the name of a friend of mine here in NYC who is an amazing doula, childbirth educator and photographer. (you mentioned that you still haven't taken any belly shots) She has taken many photos of prg women and is fantastic. (she is an amazing doula if you are interested in that, probably one of the best in New York) I don't want to post her info here so if you email me at then I can get it to you. She really does beautiful photos and would travel out to you in NJ. (remind me exacly where you are?).

Big big hugs to you!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 9:25pm

Lisa: It was great to hear from you. Obviously, you have an awful lot on your plate. I was so happy to hear that everything is progressing well with the twins. Have you picked out names yet? You seem to be doing a fantastic job of balancing so many different issues. I admire you.

I had a 2nd unsuccessful IVF and I am in the midst of changing REs. I love my new RE...she is really funny and positive and upbeat. Right now, she is having me go through a lot of testing the previous 2 REs hadn't recommended. This month, she is also having me do a BIE (Basic Infertility Evaluation) You go in on day 3, 10, 14, and 21 and the do u/s's and FSH/LH/Estrogen to see how you're doing on your own with no medications. Once this is all done, we will have a consult with the doctor and see where we go from there. I would consider one more IVF...we'll have to see where this all goes.

We are also pursuing an adoption through China. There is lots of paperwork to do...but I am excited to hopefully...finally starting our family. After 7 years of marriage I love dh to death...but we are both ready to share our love with our children.

Please stay in touch (I admit I don't post here like I used to...) It would be nice to keep tabs on you and the little ones.

Take good care.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 11:29am

Hi Margie

I was wondering where you live? Your new RE sounds great. I am really looking for some new alternatives myself but I first need to get new insurance because I am considering IVF and also I have been further diagnosed with chronic fatigue immune difficiency syndrome by my naturapath which means that I will have to get weekly doses of a high potency vit c cocktail (also mixed with other things including b vitamins) and my current HMO does not cover that. It is expensive so that is why I am looking into changing insurances.

Also I saw on your profile that you are a director. What kind of director?

hugs to you and baby dust to you!!

(44) TTC #1 after 4 mcs