Stressing out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2012
Stressing out!
4
Sat, 07-28-2012 - 11:57am

Hi, everyone. I've been stalking the board constantly reading everyone's updates and stories...so much difficulty. It makes me sad.

Today, I'm CD25, 9dpo and yesterday I noticed some spotting. It has me wondering if AF is here or if it might be implantation bleeding. I already POAS twice, but it was way too soon. I don't think one can usually expect a BFP before implantation occurs...So, now I have two causes for concern. On the one hand, I don't know if I'm prepared for a BFP. I didn't expect success on the first try. I had planned to drop a few pounds and work on my fitness while TTC. My BMI is too high! Plus, there's still the real fear of loss, even with a BFP. Then again, if it is AF, arriving after only 8 days, I have cause to be concerned about my luteal phase. My anticipation and worry have grown with each day since O, and I'm just trying to restrain myself from rushing to the drugstore so I can POAS and literally pee my money away. lol I'm attempting to make it as close to 8/1 as possible before testing again or to see if the hag shows her ugly face.

Thanks for the opportunity to unload. I haven't told anyone about TTC and don't plan to until after I get a BFP and probably not even right away after that. As such, I appreciate this forum soooo much.

Baby dust,

Rachelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2012
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 10:11pm

Thank you, ladies, for responding to my post (even though it ended up in the wrong part of the board). @Melissa, I read some of your earlier posts about having a funny cycle, and I'm right there with you, 31 days last month, 23 days this month. I went to Whole Foods tonight and bought some Vitex Elixir. I'll let you know if it evens things out. We need some relief from this frustration. @tarheelbluii, you are so right about the mind-body symbiosis that's required for proper functioning of ALL the systems. Plus, being hopeful and positive never hurt anything. I need to step back from this process and quit over analyzing every little sign or perceived change in my body. I went to the gym tonight and had a decent workout. I need more of that and less obsessing. I need to focus on my mental and physical health because it's important, not just to conceive.

So, thank you both. I feel relieved (for now). Fecundity to us all!!!! 

Rachelle