41 and uncertain

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2004
41 and uncertain
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 7:10pm

I will try to be brief, but my story is rather long....lol. I am the 41 (42 in January) mother of 15 year old twins girls. I remarried in September of last year, and found myself quite unexpectedly pregnant this past June. This, after 13 years of using NO b/c at all, with ex, or with new hubby the 4 years total I have been with him. After I got over the shock, I was elated, but a bit scared also. Well, the pregnancy was not a picnic from the begining. Was cramping from day I confirmed pregnancy at 5 weeks. The cramping continued until the doc fianlly did a trans-vaginal u/s at 7 weeks. Things looked great, baby was where it was supposed to be, and had a very strong heartbeat. One week later, at my first OB visit, since i was still cramping, the doc I saw that day did another U/S.again, trans-vaginal, and although we could see the baby, there was no heartbeat. Waited 4 days and did another, but still nothing. Needless to say, I miscarried that following week. I was devastated.

Now, my dilema is..........I really would love another baby, but am really afraid to "try". I am so afraid of another m/c........and also, now that I know I CAN still get pregnant.....if i decide not to try again...what to do about preventing it? Doc said no b/c pills because of my age. I am just at a loss here.

Any advice would be welcome!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 4:50pm

First I wanted to say I am so sorry about your m/c.

The only advise I can give is to sit down with your dh and talk about all this.