42, just m/c last week. TCC again?
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|Sun, 09-14-2003 - 11:34pm|
I'm Donna and I turned 42 on Sept 11th - - on the same day as my D&C to end my doomed 8 week pregnancy.
Hubby (35) and I have been TCC for 20 months and did 6 cycles of IUI (clomid and repronex) to get pregnant. Last cycle (the one that worked) was to be our last cycle.
Since we've had this little taste of success, hubby wants to keep trying but I'm really ambivilant about that. I just turned 42 and I'm not sure I want to spend these next 20 years with a minor child. I have a 15 year old and am FINALLY enjoying the freedom of being able to leave him alone for a few hours without worrying about pedophiles or house fires, etc. There are things I want to do as an unencumbered (but happily married) woman!
But, at the same time, I was SOOOOOOO thrilled to be pregnant and all the inconveniences of the next 20 years will be more than worth it (I know!). Honestly, I think I'm scared to death that I'll get pregnant again and we'll lose it ... again. This was my first miscarriage and the grief was so intense. I hate feeling sad and I'm blessed to have the type of life where sadness is a rare thing. Would I ever feel "safe" in another pregnancy? Or would I spend 9 months worrying about the baby dying? Would that take all the joy out of pregnancy?
So, as you can tell, I have LOTS of questions. We can't even start to think about trying again until after one normal cycle so we've got two months (my D&C was just three days ago).
Has anyone else here tackled these questions? Any advice for me?