After One year

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
After One year
7
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 11:34am
I am very disheartened to see some of the familiar names I see on the board leaving for good. I am one of the older women that have been quietly reading other peoples sorrows and triumphs for the past year. I posted in February and had to repost today with a computer that finally works. I am 44 with 45 coming in October. I finally after three years got pregnant in January when I was about to start my second IVF. The pregancy ended in a miscarriage. Of course, the clinic felt very rightious seeing me miscarry as it proved all their doubts about women having babies at 44. I have a six year old son that was conceived naturally. I have had 4 IUIs. You name it I've tried it. Ironically, I have been married to the same man for twenty years. When, I got married I was not ready to have children at 24. I have always had thyroid problems looming along the way. The fertility clinic I am seeing really doesn't want me there. They came highly recommended and I am beginning to wonder why. They are starting me out with an IUI; if there are enough eggs(more than four) they will proceed with an IVF. However, all along the way, I continually hear, I am too old. I now understand why some of these courageous women, myself included, start to loose faith that a baby may not be at the end of this long jouney. I have started taking birth control pills. I would be lying if I said this has not taken it's toll on my marriage. It took me a while to get pregnant with my son so I keep hoping that it is just taking a longer time because I am older. I had another miscarriage when I turned forty. I would love to hear some encouraging stories of women who are 44+ and actually managed to have another baby. Thank you, Tina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 11:31am
Tina, Here's my story, and it is encouraging. I wasn't ready for children when I was younger, either, although I've been with the same man since I was 21. We started trying when I was 37, and after 9 months of no luck, I started Clomid, and conceived on the 3rd cycle. I had my first son at 39. I conceived again easily on Clomid and had my 2nd little boy at 41. I didn't feel finished, though, and longed for a daughter. I thought it might not be too difficult, but I had two m/cs in the next 18 months. They were very hard to take as I felt my time slipping by. I went to a RE next, (instead of an OB) to try Pergonal. He was also not very encouraging that I could have another healthy baby. I know one of my m/cs was from an extra chromosome 7. The other one was more than likely a chromosome problem, too. I felt pretty discouraged, but DH and I decided to give it one more try. I felt as long as I could endure the disapointment. I might as well go for it.

I conceived again on the second cycle (back on Clomid, as it seemed to be better for me than Pergonal). I was, of course, a wreck most of my pregnancy, fearing the worst the whole time. I just had a beautiful baby girl a week ago. She is the love of my life, and worth all the pain and fear that came before her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I'd had another loss. I may have kept trying. I feel like as long as you can bear the uncertainty, you might as well try. At least then, you'll feel you've done all you could, and won't regret giving up too easily. I wish you all the best.

Hugs,

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 2:04pm
A friend married 7 years ago. Her husband passed away from a brain tumor about 2 years ago. At the time his illness was diagnosed, they were undergoing fertility treatments. After his death, ( they had frozen embryo) she proceeded with a pregnancy and gave birth at 46.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 1:31pm
Hi Tina...

Please don't give up your dream. I am 44, have two healthy, beautiful sons. I had them at 39 and 42 and just got pregnant at 44 but it ended in m/c early on. My doctor is confident I'll conceive again and have a healthy baby. I do try to eat right, take some fertility herbs and exercise some. But besides that..I conceived w/o assistance.

It is possible at our age with or without some assistance.

I hope to see you at the other board too!

HUGS,

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 7:46am
Thanks Linda, see you there, Tina
Avatar for fiddlemommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 6:43pm
Hi Tina,

I think you'll find that many of the people you remember are still around, just on a different board now. And so many have graduated too! I hope you will not give up on your dreams. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope we will soon see you on this new board:

http://www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/246423

Pat (satie37) created the new board, because this new one has become so cumbersome in it's new format.

Hope to see you there!! :-)

Linda

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 4:25pm
Hi Tina, Iam 45 will be 46 in sept. I had a baby at 42,she is perfect! I am now trying to have another ..Kaiser kicks you out at 44 So I am out!!! I did do a few months of clomide and ivf no luck..BUT, I am not giving up yet!!! we are temping and trying fertilityblend vitamins.. and we will go from there.. I have heard of other women having babies on this site at 46.....SOOO there is hope, I also have put my husband on mens fertilty blend!! They say to give the vitamins 3 months and we just starteg them...I thought i was preg last month 63 days waiting for AF,but she came, maybe a misscarriage??? I am not in menopause yet !that is good!!!I have also had a tubal reversal 6 years ago.. So we have are work cut out for us <<<< GOOD LUCK, we can do it!!!!! Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
In reply to: cbensonvos
Tue, 05-13-2003 - 2:29pm
Hi Tina,

I am as discouraged as you are. I am single. My husband left when I was 35 and desperately wanted a baby. I thought I would meet someone else, get married and it would work out. Well, it didn't. I had an appointment with my RE last week and he told me to use donor eggs or donor embyro. I don't think he wants me there, either. I think that he thinks I am wasting his time. But it is a new practice so he will take my money. Every time I go to the office, I am self conscious about my age. I wish I was 10 years younger. I live in Florida and am not sure any of the clinics here are any good. I have had 4 IUI cycles using repronex. I have had anywhere from 2 to 5 follicles on two amps. At least I am still making follicles. I am using donor sperm. Doing this alone is so very, very hard. My sister lives in NY and I wonder if treatment in NY would be better. I am still trying though. I will do another IUI cylce using lupron and a new drug protocol. What kind of fertility drugs are you using? I don't have insurance and so I am spending the money that maybe I could use for adoption. My RE told me that he never got anyone older than 43 pregnant. I cried all the way home in the car. Allie