Angry, jealous, sad and feeling guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Angry, jealous, sad and feeling guilty
10
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 5:11pm

I'm feeling like a real *ss right now for feeling jilted.... 3 friends of mine that have been ttc for the same length of time as me have all gotten BFP's in the last week. And as much as I am happy for them, I really really am, it makes me sooooo sad, angry and jealous. Sad because I should be 18 weeks pregnant right now :( but we lost the baby. Angry because AF showed up and super jealous because I want to be pregnant too.

Seeing the 3rd BFP announcement today really took the wind right out of me....I didn't expect to go thru this when we began this journey almost a year ago.. Anyhow sorry for the vent ladies and I know there are some of you that have been trying for a lot longer but damn this sucks! I'm emotionally done for today..









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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 5:24pm

Sandy:


Everyone's entitled to days like that.

Susan L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 5:38pm

{{{hugs}}} I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down today. You can't censor your feelings -- they're neither right nor wrong. They just are. Let them wash over you like rain, and they will pass. If you fight them, they will persist. Three announcements in the same week is one hell of a blow. My heart goes out to you.

~Melissa

42, soon to be 43 -- would love a BFP for my birthday in October!
TTC naturally, taking PNV, eating healthy, exercising and charting
Mother to a wonderful son, age 15 1/2
~Melissa

Just turned 43 on 10/2/09. Would love a BFP for my birthday in October!

TTC naturally, taking PNV, eating healthy, exercising and charting
Mother to a wonderful son, age 15 1/2

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 11:01pm
Yep, your feelings are your feelings and that's all there is to it.
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 8:29am

I know exactly how you feel. We've been ttc for 3.5 yrs now. I have seen many BFP and new blessings arrive. I have finally really put it in God's hands; what a hard thing to do. You did get PG; hold on to that. You at least know it is possible. You are human and it is very normal to be envious! Blowing baby dust your way!

Lena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 9:04am

Sandy,


I know how you feel, been there and still have my moments- this week seems to be one of them too. I hope you're feeling better today, and if not, it's ok too. Know that we're here for you.


((Big Hugs)),


wannabmommy07

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 9:05am

i know just how you feel. i remember miscarrying at 12 weeks and my good friend had just found out she was pregnant. i didn't think i was going to be able to get through the whole thing, but it's gotten alot better!!! i think if i knew my time would come, it would be ok, it's just sometimes the wondering if it will... that makes it harder!! hang in there! you're not alone!

lynda



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 1:56pm

Looks like we are comarades this week. I am feeling exactly as you are. The anger, sadness, jealousy, the whole bit. I have a cousin whose wife got pg after me, and still is. And another cousin who just had her baby this week. Thank God for these blessings.

But then there's me. I should have been about 30 something weeks by now. Before the m/c I used to joke about delivering on Halloween.
Now Halloween is coming up, I'm still not pg again. My kids are still longing for another sibling as much as I wish they could have one. They miss their little brother who they never got to meet.

I also met up with AF this week and am just a basket case.

They say that all things pass. What they don't tell u is that it all comes at you at the same time!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 5:15pm
I hope you are feeling better today.

Jessica

Me - 44, DH-47     

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 1:39pm

Sandy, I just wanted to say that we have all had a case of the "evil green meanies" towards someone during this TTC journey, so you are not alone, nor are you out of place for feeling this way.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Mon, 09-21-2009 - 1:33am
I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. Totally normal feelings, totally understandable. Several years ago when I lost my baby because of an ectopic pregnancy, I was devastated. Not only had I lost my baby after 3 years of TTC (after our firstborn), but I had also lost an ovary. (At the time I did not realize that it would actually be a blessing to only have one ovary.) To make matters worse, I knew TEN women who were pregnant then, three of them very close friends. Plus we were fostering at that time and had a 5 month old baby with us, who ended up going back to a difficult situation. It was a hard summer to get through. At the time I was quite upset, lots of the same emotions you mentioned. What I didn't know was that in the midst of it all we would have another baby placed into our home who would later become part of our family. I know it is all hard for you right now, and I am sure it all feels so impossible and unfair. Just take it one moment at a time. Hopefully you will have your own bfp to post soon. ((((Hugs))))

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious