Beta negative

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Beta negative
25
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:13am
Got the news: I am not pregnant. We are heartbroken. Barring a miracle natural pregnancy, this is the end of the road for us. Thanks for all your support -- you are an amazing bunch of women and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- four embies transferred on 6/23


Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
In reply to: szny
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 11:13am

Dear Susan,
I'm very sorry to hear your sad news. You can see from the posts that the entire board was pulling for you. Because of my disaster IVF attempt with zero follicles 1.5 months ago, I was sort of vicariously living through your second attempt. I know how bad you must feel because I felt that way 1.5 months ago. But, I started pursuing donor eggs and am now very comfortable with that decision. My insurance will pay for an attempt with that - yours might, too. Once you have settled down, you might talk with your RE about that option. Regardless, I'm truly sorry that it didn't work out.

best,
martha

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
In reply to: szny
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 11:24am

Susan,


I was away all weekend, and thinking how when I got back Monday morning I would log on and see positive news.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
In reply to: szny
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 12:27pm
(((((((SUSAN))))))) I am so sorry... There just are no words....... Please take care of yourself during this difficult time and I will continue praying for you.



Photobucket







Photobucket


src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=kalibratx4"><





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: szny
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 2:50pm

(((Susan))), I know how terribly disappointed and sad you are

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 11:52am

Hey -- I can't begin to say how moving your posts have been. It's so good to have people who understand. You guys really are the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm still really sad, and there's a part of me that can't believe the IVF didn't work. I mean, I still find myself checking for symptoms! Crazy. I'm sure it will sink in eventually.

My RE called today and said the IVF team will review my case on Friday. They'll call me afterward to let me know what they think might have happened, and if it's worth trying again. DH is willing to give IVF another shot (meaning, he's willing to pay for it) but I'm reluctant. I really don't think it's going to work for me.

I'm still up for trying naturally for a while. In fact, I'm going to buy a copy of "Making Babies" at lunch today. It certainly can't hurt. (Laurie, are you out there? I believe you said you followed it and got PG!)

DH, as great a guy as he is, is less than lukewarm about adoption, and I haven't even broached the idea of DE with him. I don't think it's the answer for us, but I should probably open my mind to it.

It's funny, I'd kind of made a list of things I could do if the IVF failed, thinking it would cushion the blow. HA! Yeah, like being able to buy clothes and drink caffeinated coffee will make me feel better.

Again, thanks. I'm wishing all of you good luck!


Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- BFN


Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 11:56am

Just logged in to check on you and there you are again showing your incredible spirit!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 2:20pm
I agree with Ruth, man oh man are you a pistol (in the most awesome way).
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 2:49pm

Oh I am so sorry to read this. I haven't been on in a few days.



 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 6:25pm

Hi Susan,


I was glad to see your post...had been wondering how you were doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
In reply to: szny
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 10:24am

Thanks, Ruth, Mattie and Susan (who, by the way, has some amazing biceps! Great photo). And Carolina, as a fellow member of the Weird Uterus Society (I had a uterine septum removed in March 2009, for those of you following along at home), your pregnancy makes me so, so, so happy. You are such an inspiration. Hope you're feeling well!

I'm actually feeling really crappy again today. Maybe the reality is setting in. I spent so much time visualizing DH and me with our kid -- for the record, he was a little boy with big brown eyes and curly light brown hair -- that it's just breaking my heart to realize I might never meet him. I'm trying to stay positive but after three years of TTC, an m/c, a chemical pregnancy and a promising IVF gone bad, I'm feeling very sad and frustrated and hopeless.

I guess the grieving process takes time, huh?


Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- BFN


Susan CB