Beta negative

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Beta negative
25
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:13am
Got the news: I am not pregnant. We are heartbroken. Barring a miracle natural pregnancy, this is the end of the road for us. Thanks for all your support -- you are an amazing bunch of women and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- four embies transferred on 6/23


Susan CB

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
In reply to: szny
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 8:27am

Thank you, Mattie, Brandy, Libby (so good to see you 'round here these days!) and Jeanne. I'm doing a little better, mostly because I realized that a failed IVF (well, two) is no reason to give up. I've still got eggs and they still fertilize and sometimes they even sorta implant! Just gotta find that sticky one.

Mattie, I will check out Spirit Babies. I'm really trying to work on visualization. I used to imagine only the worst-case scenarios, under some sort of superstition that if I could picture it, it WOULDN'T happen. Gotta reverse that!


Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- BFN


Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2005
In reply to: szny
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 12:43pm

Oh Susan,


I just got back from vacation and am just heartbroken for you. My thoughts are with you as you decide what path to take next.
Jeanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
In reply to: szny
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 5:46pm

Susan:

I am sorry for being so late to express my sadness that this IVF didn't work. I know you are rallying now, but I truly understand how hard it is to dust yourself off and start again.

If I can help in any way, you know how to reach me.

Best,
Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
In reply to: szny
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:27pm
Thinking of you, Susan!

:-) Brandy, 42 yrs. old


Mom of a fifteen n month old precious little boy, conceived in Aug. 08 on our second IUI attempt (C

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
In reply to: szny
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 12:57pm

"I spent so much time visualizing DH and me with our kid -- for the record, he was a little boy with big brown eyes and curly light brown hair"


You just gave me the chills.


Hmmm, have you read the book Spirit Babies? I just got it from the library yesterday. I cried my eyes out on a chapter already last night.



 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
In reply to: szny
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 10:24am

Thanks, Ruth, Mattie and Susan (who, by the way, has some amazing biceps! Great photo). And Carolina, as a fellow member of the Weird Uterus Society (I had a uterine septum removed in March 2009, for those of you following along at home), your pregnancy makes me so, so, so happy. You are such an inspiration. Hope you're feeling well!

I'm actually feeling really crappy again today. Maybe the reality is setting in. I spent so much time visualizing DH and me with our kid -- for the record, he was a little boy with big brown eyes and curly light brown hair -- that it's just breaking my heart to realize I might never meet him. I'm trying to stay positive but after three years of TTC, an m/c, a chemical pregnancy and a promising IVF gone bad, I'm feeling very sad and frustrated and hopeless.

I guess the grieving process takes time, huh?


Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- BFN


Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 6:25pm

Hi Susan,


I was glad to see your post...had been wondering how you were doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 2:49pm

Oh I am so sorry to read this. I haven't been on in a few days.



 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 2:20pm
I agree with Ruth, man oh man are you a pistol (in the most awesome way).
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: szny
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 11:56am

Just logged in to check on you and there you are again showing your incredible spirit!

 

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