Coming to terms and a big decision....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2010
Coming to terms and a big decision....
12
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 12:18am
Hey girls, big update from me.... I am seriously, seriously contemplating quitting the TTC game after this cycle. I want my body back (I have gained over 15 lbs). I want my hormones level again (I struggle with mood swings on these drugs). I want my obsession with counting the days to stop (no more living in 2 week increments). I want my life back (focusing instead on this amazing new husband I have). Life is so short and I think I need to start living the rest of mine. TTC for 18 months now, a m/c, surgery, fertility drugs, procedures, it has taken it's toll on me and I am tired, I know you all KWIM. I took a big step and I went in for a surgery consult a month ago for a serious TMJ problem (I was told 20 yrs ago I needed surgery on but didn't do it) it causes chronic neck and shoulder muscle pain, BAD headaches, I can't open my mouth more than an inch and a half, among other issues. The Dr sent me for an arthrogram of my jaw joint last week, they injected a dye in to my jaw and they took video pictures of the inner workings of it and we met with him yesterday to go over results. I am bone to bone on both sides, my discs are totally perforated and they need to be replaced, they will take cartilage from the back of my ear and then put it in my jaw, ouch!
 
 
 Me and girls xmas 09

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2005
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 7:35am

Hi LaRae,

I haven't been on this board long but I just wanted to say your posts have been supportive and inspirational. You are blessed to have found love and at the end of the day that's the most important thing.

Ayo 43 yrs old My Ovulation Chart
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 8:54am

Peace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 9:02am

LaRae, I know how you feel.

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2010
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 11:10pm

I know exactly how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2010
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 11:35am
Thanks so much girls..... It means a lot to have your kind words, I will come back to look for updates off and on, I really do hope you all get your miracles and I am so happy for those of you that did.... =)
 
 
 Me and girls xmas 09
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 1:04pm

LaRae,

I can totally relate. I hope to see you not go, but I know that TTC month after month can be so draining on a person, a marriage, one's happiness....I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make!


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 12:50pm

I am sorry that it's been difficult!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2010
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 9:17pm
Thank you Dianne.... I am happy to say this has made us closer as a couple, he is so supportive and understanding and LOVING, I was so blessed to have him as my partner in this journey. =)
 
 
 Me and girls xmas 09
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2010
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 9:21pm
Thank you so much.... words of encouragement mean so much. =)

My story is a little bit like yours. We got engaged at 43 and 47, my dd's were 10 and 13, he never had kids but always wanted them. But we found ourselves SURPRISINGLY pregnant in Feb '10 and were SO excited, however a large fibroid in my uterus was taking up 75% of the space and we lost our baby because it couldn't implant (we found this out after of course and I had surgery to remove it), it broke our hearts and we have tried everything to get another baby again. We got married in Sept last year and have been TTC the whole time, it is draining and I just need to move on. HOWEVER, we will NOT be using bc sooooo you never know.... =)

Thanks again and GOOD LUCK TO YOU! =)
 
 
 Me and girls xmas 09
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2007
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 11:17pm

LaRae:

I'm at a loss for just the right words but want to offer you my support.

- Sandy (44) DS (natural) born just before my 41st birthday. TTC#2. Only issue: egg/embryo quality due to age. Clomid & multiple IUIs w/follistim &menopur = BFN. IVF#1 (Nov 2011) = 12 eggs, 9 mature & fertilized. Transferred 3 embryos (1-3BB, 2-3

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