Cycle Venting time!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2010
Cycle Venting time!!!
22
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 11:56am

Good morning ladies!

Frustrated, time to vent! I am totally feeling like an outsider here. Not because of you wonderful ladies but because my lady junk is apparently so messed up that I fit nowhere within this board. I am now on CD23, and have not stopped bleeding the entire time. Some days are just spots, most days are light (not even heavy or medium) but there has not been one day when I haven't seen a bit of pink on the tissue. Our insurance issues are still not resolved, we're trying but nothing is successful as of yet, hopefully that will change soon and I can get some answers. All of my symptoms point mostly towards a hormonal imbalance, most likely associated with peri-menopause. Man, talk about coming in quickly...  It's very frustrating first it takes me 48-50 days to have a period (back in the old days before April of this year they were 27-32 days long) then when they come they are either epic or they just won't go the F away (sorry for the psuedo bad language :smileymad:). So in any event, I we are still not preventing but TBH it's kind of hard to try around all of this weird stop and start (that's how I bleed, start the day sometimes and nothing and by day's end a light flow). Anyway, it probably doesn't matter because it's pretty likely that this is NOT a fertile cycle, yeah, one never knows so I keep a tiny glimmer of hope but ugh.

So anyway that's my stupid update. I just wish to someday again be able to join my lovely ladies in the 2WW again. So afraid it won't happen :smileyhappy: If it doesn't that would be so unfair. At this point, I'd just be happy to O, though the goal is baby, O and no blood until it's time ---- normal for crying out loud would be fan-freaking-tastic. Yeah, I'm a little pissed off about the whole thing, but there is nothing I can do about it but hope that this is part of God's plan. I'm hoping all this weird cycle stuff is God's mysterious way of helping me get closer to holding the baby of my dreams in my arms and holding it as my own for as long as he/she wants to be held.  Sigh...

Hugs and dust ladies!

~Michele

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 10:33am
Hi Michelle - you are absolutely not gross or weird.....maybe just a little bit unique - LOL! I think that is really cool! Unfortunately (really fortunately) the witch is just going out the door, but I am going to make a point of listening for this next cycle. If I am lucky (and I don't think I will be due to extenuating circumstances - DH kidney issue) that will be 10 months from now. :-) Thank you for sharing and clarifying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2010
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 5:41pm
Perhaps my body is such that I can hear it. I think it's mostly on heavy days. Thanks guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 3:52pm

You aren't weird or gross! I know now what you are talking about. I just couldn't imagine what you meant- I think my brain was trying to put the sound of paper shredding in place of lining shedding!   For me, it is more of a feeling than a sound but I can definitely tell that something is ripping apart in there. Thanks for explaining.

Vickie

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2010
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 3:15pm

Ha! Now I feel a little weird/gross for bringing it up. I just assumed others could hear it also. It sounds a little like gas (the internal unreleased kind) but litterally sounds like wringing and shedding. When I hear it in conjunction with moderate to heavy bleeding and definately with cramps, I know for certain it is shedding. Ha!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2012
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 3:15pm

michele:

i'm with the others, "hearing your lining shed"? huh. i've never heard my lining shed.

so so so glad you have an appt. hate that medical care costs so frigging much tho. FX that bleeding stops and the whole WW exam can be done.

KUP on what happens.

~m

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 3:11pm

YAY for an appointment. I feel better knowing you are going to get some answers. I'm a little lost with the "hearing the lining shed". Is it an actual noise or more of a feeling?  You've got me curious that I've been missing something!

Vickie

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 2:13pm
OK Michele - regarding hearing your lining shedding, I may be alone in saying this but - WHAT?!? I don't think I have ever heard that before. What exactly does that sound like? It is a little unnerving that at the ripe young age of 41 (borderline 42) I still have so much to learn about the female body.

Good luck with the doc. Answers are always very much appreciated in this journey.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2010
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 6:17pm

Monica, let me parrot everything that AnneMarie said. I appreciate the kind words. Mostly, I'm really praying we get a BFP from you tomorrow. I'll be stalking.

Annemarie, I picked up the B6 and have been taking 100mg the last couple of days. Let's say my flow was heavier both days. I should be due for AF though, and the early part of this cycle was pretty light for me - AF-wise. I am even hearing that lining shedding noise, I didn't hear that last time. Not to be gross, but I'm assuming others can hear their own lining shedding sometimes, lol. Anyway, I do have an appointment now. I will pay out of pocket. It isn't too outrageous, assuming its fairly routine. About 400-800 dollars should do it, including ultrasound, if needed, and labs. So, that is supposed to be next week. Really hoping bleeding stops by then and it ends up to be lab work and a well-woman. Because the 400-800 is assuming im still bleeding and they can't do a WW exam. Soooo excited at the prospect of getting some answers... Amen!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2011
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 8:29pm

Monica,

Thanks for your kind and inspring words.  I was the one that said I had put my life on hold.  I started putting more emphasis on living and less on TTC this summer.  I think my overall outlook has improved since then.  Good for you working out 4 days a week.  It certainly does make you feel better!

I hope you have good news for us soon!

Annemarie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2012
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 6:10pm

michele & annemarie:

you both sound like you're headed in the right direction! i quit the diet coke thing about a year ago, and now i only have it as a treat.

my husband was having some health problems and his dr said to him, "i understand your frustration, but concentrate on the things you CAN control." DH didn't take that to heart, but i did. starting in june i started working out 4x/week because i couldn't sit around anymore just waiting to get pregnant. i needed my life to keep going -- i think one of you said that you were also putting your life on hold for this TTC thing -- and let me tell you it's been great. i haven't lost a ton of weight, but i do feel better, and know my body is starting to look better too, which means i feel better.

anyway, i'm thinking of you both and love that you keep updating this board!

~m

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