fighting with DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2010
fighting with DH
42
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 2:03am

This is just all so stressful, all this testing and trying to make sense of numbers. My DH is just not getting it. More than 2 weeks ago RE gave him a Rx to get semen analysis. He didn't even touch it until I started badgering him about it. So, me being the control freak that I am, I finally took the Rx, and started calling around to make a lab appt. Three weeks away! And another week wait for results. He doesn't even want to go!! We don't have this kind of time to throw out the window!! He's only 31 and I'm starting to feel like I need to start showing him the fun and painful graphs of the diminishing chances of pregnancy after 40.

So freakin' mad at him right now. He's complaining because we have to stop BDing for a week for my HSG test. I don't even feel like bumpin' uglies since he's just so non-chalant about all this. I feel like the weight of the world in on me.

Like I said on another post, I really want to delegate some of this to him. Let him monitor my cycle and remind me when it's time to hide the salami!

Sometimes I can't believe that I have to project manage my own husband. Like I don't get enough of that at work! ARGGG!

Sorry, just venting...

Elizabeth

41 YO - Mom to 3 year old boy

TTC #2 since April '08





Elizabeth-41 Y/O

Mom to 3 Y/O boy

TTC #2 since April '08


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 2:14am
Oh dear, no advice - sorry! Maybe the younger men just don't get it- mine thinks I'll be fertile till I'm 50- now who knows but I think men in general are somewhat naive when it comes to these matters.
44- 5 children already- TTC number 6!
44- 5 children already- TTC number 6!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 8:34am
I've been dealing with the same thing for 3 years Elizabeth so don't feel alone.
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 9:26am

Elizabeth,



I guess I am one of the lucky ones as my DH has been and still is supportive and very cooperative.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:34pm

When I was married to someone older than me - he too was resistant with the RE but did provide a sample. Now he had 3 children prior so I could understand but the RE still wanted to check.

I think if my husband (also younger than me) were to come with me to my fertility acu and have her explain getting pregnant at my age is no easy feat he would understand.

Mine still thought we could wait a few years LOL before trying! It can be frustrating.

There's this woman in my neighborhood that looks like she's in her 50's and has a much younger husband as well and they have IVF twin baby girls. I don't know if it was donor egg or not- I wouldn't want to pry.

44- 5 children already- TTC number 6!
44- 5 children already- TTC number 6!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:38pm

Thanks for the words of wisdom ladies. Sometimes it feels better just to get it off my chest. I read that about Jeanne's DH. The man is a SAINT!

The funny thing is my DH is usually so good at being supportive, but since this has taken the natural flow out of his favorite thing (sex), he just pushes back. He's super modest, too, so when some strange women on the phone is telling him when and how he can masturbate, he just gets all out of his element and squirmish. He hates it. He was the same way at the RE. His face was all red.

Susan, the younger models aren't better at this for sure. He SOOOO did not expect to have issues having kids. Plus, he's from a very fertile South American family with babies everywhere. Which is partly why he just doesn't get why HE has to have a semen analysis, HE couldn't possibly be the problem (in his mind)...

I feel a little better today. He made his appt, found a lab an hour from here that can do the test next week, and is taking a whole day off work to make the trip, so I give him points for that.

We're going camping at the Delaware Beach this weekend for a change of pace. Unfortunately, there will be no BD-ing under the stars this time. Sigh... I hope Igor won't ruin the fun.

Elizabeth

41 YO - Mom to 3 year old boy

TTC #2 since April '08





Elizabeth-41 Y/O

Mom to 3 Y/O boy

TTC #2 since April '08


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 2:16pm
I still don't get why you can't bd prior to an hsg.
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 4:45pm

boy, not a good supporter! I'm beginning to appreciate my DH more and more. I hope that yours steps up soon!

best,
martha

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 5:00pm

Awww, you guys made my day! I feel FABULOUS now!

Susan, I don't know what the deal is with the no BD before HSG rule. I just do what I'm told. It's probably a good thing in the end, honestly, to just have to take a little BD break. We've been fighting a lot about it lately, so...

It shouldn't hamper this cycle at all. The HSG test is Monday which will be CD10, so as long as we get a couple good ones in early next week, it should be a normal cycle. I don't know if RE will provide any results of the battery of tests before she gets the semen analysis or not. I hope she doesn't want to wait for those results, cuz that's two weeks away at least, and I want to know what she finds out.

Waiting, waiting, waiting... We have to wait for everything, hurry up and wait!

Elizabeth

41 YO - Mom to 3 year old boy

TTC #2 since April '08





Elizabeth-41 Y/O

Mom to 3 Y/O boy

TTC #2 since April '08


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2005
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 5:09pm

Hugs. And I just want to say....my DH wasn't so compliant until we lost our baby in January. Knowing that were giving birth to a son who would be still born (I was only 20 weeks) was very hard on him as well as me. It really hit home with him that he wanted another child...so he's a little more cooperative now. But it wasn't always that way. That said, I still do everything. I am still infinitely more stressed than he will ever be. It's different for guys I guess. Hang in there and like the pp, I would start educating him. Don't hide the process from him.
Good luck sweetie!



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 5:46pm

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones as well.

Susan L.



Robert Edward Xavier Lin - Born July 31, 2010 at 5:56AM, 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU but he's doing great now!

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