Getting discouraged

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Getting discouraged
12
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 10:02am

Well I got a BFN and AF started today after being

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2008
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 11:44am

Aww I know the feeling. Unfortunately nothing anyone can say can make it any easier. My DH and I tried for over a year before we got pg-and I was doing the temp, opk sticks-the whole shabang. Every month when AF showed I remember feeling so hopeless-like it was never going to happen, then one month it finally did.

Here I am with a 4 month old, trying all over again and getting those feelings. I tell myself, I am supposed to be my most fertile now, after giving birth, and its not happening-it will never happen again. In the back of my mind, I know I cannot think that way.

I really think that we women expect to get pg right away. If we bd at the right time, do all the right things, then why isn't it happening? Truth is, sometimes it takes a young healthy couple up to a year to get pg. http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/howlong.html

I know that doesn't give you (or I) any comfort, but at least if I reason with myself I can say "hey, just because it didnt happen this month, doesn't mean it wont next month!".

BTW AF probably was late due to a combination of the clomid AND the progesterone, but honestly I don't think that is a bad thing. I know my cycles are like 30 days now that I am on those. I totally contribute me getting and staying pg this last time around to the progesterone.

Also, when I did get pg this last time I was on both Vitex and DHEA. I do not know how much those contributed to getting pg. But had been trying for 9 months-then after 3 months of taking them I was pg. Could have been just my time or they could have helped-I certainly don't think they hurt.

As far as age, I think you are on the younger side of the board. At least I think 43 is young. Try to keep your spirits up and just keep doing what you can do. It will happen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 11:57am

Gina:


I'm sorry things didn't work this time.

Susan L.



Robert Edward Xavier Lin - Born July 31, 2010 at 5:56AM, 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU but he's doing great now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 1:33pm

Sorry the witch showed up:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:42am

Hi Gina,

Sorry Af showed. It's ok to feel sad from time to time. TTC is an emotionally journey and we women have to do most of the work, charting, temping etc and getting to know our bodies. I too didn't buy my opk in time and kind of missed my ov. last cycle because I ov early (those opk sure can get costly)...

Glad to hear your Ins. pays for IUI. We just began our fist IUI treatment yesterday and had to pay out of pocket. I'm not on any meds, so can't offer any advice on that...but just wanted to offer my support. We're in this together.

As for age, No you're not the oldest one here, I'm 44, will turn 45 in a few months. We have many ladies here who tried for years and ended up with bfp. So stay positive and look forward to your next ov.

All the best!
wannabmommy07

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 1:16pm

hi,
hope you're feeling better now. I know your disappointment well!

I'm on my third round of clomid. They start at 50 mg to see how you respond. I'm almost sure your RE will go up to 100 mg if things don't progress.

I also tried random things like DHEA and Vitex. The vitex made me feel strange after a week, so I stopped. I took DHEA for 3 months and had a HARD time getting off of it and it messed me up.

My advise to you is to get your DHEA levels (and all other levels) tested to see if you need it before you start taking it.

I'm 42.5, and am also seriously thinking about giving up. It's just the way it is, though. Not your fault...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 1:34pm

I'm sorry you got a BFN. I, too, am struggling with TTC. I was just about to post this exact same post, minus the IUI part. I'm 40, got AF today, and am trying to decide if I want to keep going. I'm so glad you have insurance to help you with your journey. So many of us don't have that kind of help. I tried DHEA for a while but quit taking it. Now I want to give it another try.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 1:44pm

It's very comforting to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 3:31pm

I keep hoping there is another good egg. The days I get AF I go back and forth between giving up and keep trying. I was hoping that I had done it this time even though we had only BD'd once. But it was the first day of Oing. There is so much stress going on in our lives right now and we are barely BDing at all. Of course, who isn't going through major stress right now :). In a way I am glad AF came, because last cycle I had to take Provera, but I wonder if it is even doing any good by making her come at all. Looking back, AF started being funny when we found out DH was going to be laid off. Maybe it was a sign to take a break for a while. That when he finally goes back to work it will happen. But then, why didn't it happen before, then. UGH Oh, lordy, I hate these back and forth days. But, I always come back to trying because I see you wonderful ladies that are not giving up and I want to be as strong as you are.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 12:19am

I was thinking too that stress might be a factor.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 2:07pm

I know stress is a lot of my problems. With DH being laid off and having to have his bother live with us is more than I can handle. I've lived with BIL longer than I've just lived alone with DH. I like him, but sometimes I feel like I married him, too.

DH used to work on the oil field and one job he had recently heard about was going to be a 2 week on, 2 week off job and I bet him that those 2 week would have been on my O time. We talked about the freezing thing, too. (I think he thinks I can just put it in the freezer, lol)

I have a soon-to-be SIL and her DH (who is DH's other brother, if you can follow this) are raising his DD. They share custody (not official, just between him and baby mama) with baby mama. It's not been good, there has been alot of not proper child care on her part. Baby mama lived in a tiny trailor with baby and baby got a million bug bites on her, stuff like that. So, BIL and SIL live in grandparents attic (???), want custody of baby, she doesn't work and she just got knocked up. They don't need 2 kids. They can barely afford baby. UGH!!!!!!!!! Neither will use birth control.

My niece had a baby last year, and that was very hard for me to deal with. When she found out she was doing drugs and drinking and not in a very good place in her life. She has extremely bad endo and was told by 6 doctors she would NEVER have any kids. This baby literally saved her life. It was just so bitter sweet for me. So, while it's still hard, she is kinda my line to keep trying.

I didn't mean to TTC so late. I had DS when I was 20 and I didn't think I would ever get married. Then here comes DH. I was 33 and he was 22 when we started dating. I almost left because of the age difference. We started TTC when I was 36. And I get my mom talking about her next grandchild. And my sister.

I LOVE Supernatural! Jared Padalecki, HOT!!!!

Ok, now that I have written a novel, sorry, I wish you good luck and hope that we get the BFP that we deserve!

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