Going to Houston
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|Tue, 07-20-2004 - 1:22am|
I am flying today from Cleveland to Houston to see Randine Lewis's partner at the Eastern Harmony Clinic for Acupuncture and Herbs. I am going to be followed up with Randine who wrote the book The Infertility Cure through phone consultations. Since I lost my baby a month ago, I realized how terrified I am now of getting pregnant again. I don't know why we lost him and want to learn how to be as healthy as I can before I try again. I am 40 and don't want to lose months, but I feel I can't bear to lose another children with that loss being my second. The day I get back, I have my first appointment with a RE. I just wanted to be examined by somebody who makes sense to me even if it means flying across the country. Then I can follow the regiment at home and find a local acupuncturist. I just really believe that the Traditional Chinese Medicine makes 100% sense and I just pray that God will help guide me.
All of this is happening with my husband's grandmother now in Hospice and she may pass away at any time. He and my mother both told me that maybe I am just too old. My head has been spinning since then being completely confused to if it is true. It makes me feel so old hearing that and it makes me almost hate myself for waiting so long. But, I know they both love me and my husband is really getting depressed now. He is basically unemployed working part-time at Sears, his grandmother is so ill, he is off anti-depressents that he needs (which being on them probably doesn't help us get pregnant) and I feel like I am in this by myself. I feel that becoming pregnant is a blessing from God and I feel that there is still time. I just want God's blessing and I pray for a safe trip. My mother must just think I am out of my mind doing this trip, but part of it is a business trip for me too. How do I fight the things my family says?
I'll let you know how it goes. Thank you for being there for me.