Hi Ho, Hi Ho, to the Ol' RE I go...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, to the Ol' RE I go...
13
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 5:29pm

OK, had my first consult with Dr Keefe at NYU. Liked him quite a bit--friendly and funny and encouraging (as well as experienced and educated). He is not the type to look at FSH and Estradiol #'s and make any judgement based on them alone, so he did an ovarian ultrasound (no charge, which is nice) and gave me a referral to my reg. doc for the bloodwork to determine AMH (do I have that right...?) He holds the AMH # above the FSH/estradiol as indictors of my chances.

Basically, hubs and I would have to weigh vasectomy reversal + trying the "natural way" bd-style vs. sperm aspiration + IVF. Those are the choices we have at the moment. Always a chance that the VR won't work, and if not, then I'll have wasted up to four-six month of precious egg-time finding out the hard way. And even if the VR does work, I may still need IVF to conceive.

If I skip ahead to just straight IVF with aspirated sperm, it's less taxing on my husband and greatly increases my chances of pregnancy by implanting multiple eggs at once (they don't implant very many. I think 1-3, depending). But it's reallllly costly, and, unlike BD, it requires more planning and gives me far fewer chances to conceive on a month-to-month basis, since I could only afford to many tries. Maybe 3, tops. (But as we know, BD = unlimited tries. LOL)

Something to think about.

Anyway, the u/s showed 7 eggs in one ovary, and 8 on another and he found that very encouraging, even though, of course, the u/s does not show egg *quality.*

Wow, this is starting to sound like a show on the Discovery Channel, is it not???? :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 6:58pm

Thanks for the update. I gotta admit, I am envious of all those eggs! My baseline ultrasounds never showed more than five total. So I think you are in very good shape.

Not sure what to say about one procedure over the other. Time really isn't on our side here, so maybe go with the one that will let you try sooner?

The nice thing about IVF is that you know for sure if your eggs are fertilizing.


Susan CB



TTC #1 at age (gulp) 42

June 2008: m/c

April 2010: IVF #1 -- chemical pregnancy

June 2010: IVF #2 -- BFN





Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:01pm

Yes, it is an AMH level.

 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:27pm

Thank you. I, of course, have fingers and toes crossed for you to get your wish fulfilled!!

As I've said elsewhere, the BIGGEST obstacle to this is (here come the old jokeroo again) "Male Ambivalence Factor." So if there isn't some miraculous (and I do mean miraculous) change in my husband's heart, it won't matter what my personal chances are at procreation! I may have to forego motherhood and get a couple puppies.

Trying to be very calm about this--very hard to want something so badly when my partner does not, but I figure at the very least, I can do the tests, gather the info, and weigh the odds in case he *does* change his mind.

I'm leaning toward just going for IVF from jump street! The point that IVF at least let's you know if/when you've conceived is a good one, and IVF increases your odds of conception per try, *AND* the fact that a reversal costs almost as much as a single round of IVF, well, not hard to do the math there, esp when you figure the VR may not work, and even if it does, it'll take 3-6 months for the sperm to come back full force.

Am I the only one who sometime wishes that she could just find a cute, healthy baby sitting alongside a quaint country road, with a note attached saying, "Hi! Looking for a mommy!"??? It's so hard to stay faithful to your maternal wishes, no matter what obstacle is presented--personal, physical, financial.

Glad I have you guys!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 3:19pm
I so understand the MAF (let's start a new acronym). Very very hard to deal with because you do really not want to coerce or nag them into something that doesn't feel right to them, but at the same time they just don't seem to have the same awareness that we do of the passage of time.....
-Bridget


Sig #4 ivillage






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-Bridget
TTC#3 since June 2010. Me = 40 w/ PCOS; DH = 43; married 13 years.
Taking: Pre-natal, 100mg B6, 50mg Clomid, Robutussin
#1Clomid baby, born 2003. Aaron!
#2Clomid baby, lost to heart defect in 2nd trimester, 2006

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2009
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 7:43pm
That does sound very encouraging, but I agree that men in general do not get the clock ticking quite like we do UNTIL they have to pay the RE and it doesn't stick the very first time LOL.

~ Jodi ~


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 12:26am

LOL, help yourselves to "MAF." Glad I'm not the only one who's had that as a major obstacle--and also glad it can be overcome!

I *did* see the tiniest glimmer of hope today. DH was talking to his older son about "older" parenting, and he was explaining that male fertility declines over time and about the suspicion of advanced paternal age contributing to the rise of autism and certain birth defects. Then he said, "I mean, not *everyone's* sperm quality declines as he ages. If *I* had a kid, it would be OUTSTANDING...."

LOL. He's 46, which isn't exactly what we'd call terribly advanced paternal age. But, but, I don't know, in the midst of me biding what little time I have left and holding my tongue and not nagging, that seemed to me at least a wee indicator that he's not counting himself out as an "older dad."

It is a commitment? No. But I'll take what I can get. I do realize, though, that I probably only have a couple months until I have to have The Big "Will You or Won't You" Conversation, because soon after that, I'll be too old to be taken as a IVF/RE client at NYU if I want to use my own eggs. Their cutoff is 43, and I'm 42 & 4 months now.

Do we have an "Aaaaaaaaah, THE CLOCK IS TICKIIIIIIIIING" hysterical emoticon? :P

Ah, we'll see what the rest of this summer brings. My prayer is he'll come around by early Fall and we can get started. The RE at NYU suggested on gentle tactic would be to see if DH will consider talking to the top NYC urologist about vasectomy reversal, and see where it goes from there. If a man crosses that particular threshold, the RE said, it often just takes gentle nudging & a sense of confidence in the particular medical institution to get the husband in with both feet.

Then, um, we'll have to have the frightening conversation about COST. *whew.*

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2009
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 9:28am
I am right there with you... If this IUI does not work we have to do some quick thinking/talking and he is very very unlikely to do IVF...so I think we are in the same MAF boat and yet the weird part is my Hubby reall really wants another one, he is just not keen on the RE part...

~ Jodi ~


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 3:12am

I'm sure DH over here won't like the IVF idea either, not one bit. But I'm over 42, and I don't really have time to try IUI. I know too many women for whom it didn't work, and I don't even want to try it. If vas. reversal and TTC naturally is the only way my husband will go, then I'll roll with it and pray the Gods are on our side. But I think a respectable urologist would at least bring up IVF in the vas. reversal consultation because of my age...I mean, if this doc works that closely with an RE, he's gotta know a woman of 42+ is very likely to need advanced ART.

Hoping your hubs comes around. I, personally, would find it very hard to not be able to try at least one IVF if IUI didn't work. I"m the type who would have to know I at least tried everything I could...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 11:41am
Hey now Hey now, turning 45 over here and haven't given in to IVF yet so lets throw some positive vibes at being over 42 this way.
 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 12:55pm

Hey there, didn't mean to sound like an IVF pusher for all AMA ladies, but since my husband has a vasectomy, I have a higher likelihood of needing ART. Reversals don't always work, and even if/when they do, it can take 4-6 months for baby-makin' sperm levels to come back. Which may not be time I can afford.

Didn't mean to imply that everyone 42+ would need IVF, but a 42+ with a snipped husband? Yep, definitely in the range of might-need-it. :)

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