Mom issues TTC - need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Mom issues TTC - need to vent
13
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 1:46pm

Ladies,


This is directly/indirectly relating to trying to TTC.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 3:08pm

OH, I can relate Kristi.

 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 3:10pm

Kristi:


Sorry about your mom acting like that.


I will reply because it has recently been brought to my attention (in another part of my life)

Susan L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 3:36pm

My mother is gone, but the damage she did to me while she was on this earth is reprehensible. We were estranged when she died, which I'm grateful for. One thing I learnt, after years and years of hoping she would change -- or I could change her -- was that it was never going to happen. When I came to accept that, I finally found peace and was able to let her go.

She was a tragic individual, and I most certainly am the OPPOSITE of her when it comes to parenting. I protect my child like a wild mother bear and always have. So I can be grateful that the crushing pressure I lived under when she was alive formed me into the warrior I am today -- a rising phoenix who shines brightly -- who succeeds in spite of her.

Don't take your bucket to an empty well. Get the support you need where you know you will get it.

{{{hugs}}}

~Melissa

42, soon to be 43 -- would love a BFP for my birthday in October!
TTC naturally, taking PNV, eating healthy, exercising and charting
Mother to a wonderful son, age 15 1/2

~Melissa

Just turned 43 on 10/2/09. Would love a BFP for my birthday in October!

TTC naturally, taking PNV, eating healthy, exercising and charting
Mother to a wonderful son, age 15 1/2

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 3:42pm

Susan,


Thanks for your reply, somehow I knew you ladies would understand, or are experiencing similar circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 3:50pm

Susan L,


I think you made a valid point when you said I can not force her to be kind or supportive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 5:56pm

Everyone is right Kristi, I think our bad relationships w/ our mothers make us better mothers.


Thanks about Sean.

 


 


Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 1:12am

Kristi, I hear you!

Janice, 44, TTC #1
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 2:13am

Kristi, I am so sorry it is so hard with your mom. I am quite close to my mum, but my sisters aren't. It is funny that it works that way, the woman they describe is not the woman I know! I don't have any great word of wisdom for you, just lots of ((((hugs))))

It did remind me of what a friend told me recently about when he was growing up with his grandparents (his parents had died) and even after he was older and away from home. He told me that his grandparents would always praise his siblings, how wonderful they were, all they had accomplished, but never told him he had done a good job or anything remotely like that. Years later, in talking with those siblings, they said the exact same thing. Seems that the grandparents praised each child to the other, but never told any of them directly how they felt. So sad. I don't know if that could be the case with your mom or not, and in a way it doesn't really matter because if she never tells you directly that she cares how are you to know? I don't know why some people have such difficulty that way, but there are certainly a lot out there.

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 2:21am
Susan V, I can't believe your mom did not come to the funeral, that is horrible! When you first said that she didn't come I thought she had some lame excuse like she couldn't afford to or something, but when all of that was taken care of for her I couldn't believe it! Wow. I am so sorry, to lose your son and then not have your mother there to help support you, I can't imagine the pain that must have brought to you. The pain it still must cause you. I am so sorry. (((((Hugs)))))

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 11:54am

Melissa,


Thanks for you words of understanding.

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