Should I go for a third child at 45?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Should I go for a third child at 45?
14
Wed, 06-04-2003 - 2:30pm
I have two lovely daughters both born after I was 40. Luckily both were easy conceptions with no help needed( Except for my husband's). I thought I was finished but now as my youngest approaches 3, I suddenly want another baby. I will be 45 in August. Does everyone want a baby as it becomes too late? Will the feeling pass? And, is there anyone else out there who has easily conceived at this age? Help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Mon, 10-13-2003 - 7:44pm
hello, I am 45 yr old.I am saved by the blood of jesus.I also beleive children are definatelly blessing from the Lord.I ha ve 3 sons from ex age 24,21 and soon to be 16 yr,old. I became saved with second husband he also paid for a tubal reversal at cost of $6,00.00 cash this year.I have never been concerned about other people opinion even our grown children. Trusting in the Lord i beleive he blessed us this month will know for certain by this week I look forward to raisng children again, and have enjoyed raising the other boys.my hubby married me with 3 and hae has 1 we have raised them as brothers and not step despite of what the other parents think.All boys respect the fact of that.In fact my mother wasnt happy about the tr I said mother i Love you dearly, but this is betwen my husband and our lord.She never brought it up again.As far as for the other 4 sons they are thrilled, and one of the sons actually gave hubby $1,00 for surgery.My grandmother had twins at 55 my aunt and uncle are 8 years older than I.Went to my gyn I told dont ned the lectur on downs syndrome and other possibiliteis cause of my age,I already know. She started laughin and started the testing.i also wenr to a doctor a bout a year before surgery.He told me I was too old and the risks were high of downs syndrome children.I told him well then I guess you better figure out how to put my baby boy son back and futher more I didnt ask you for your opinion.My baby boy has learning disabilities he is such a joy.There have been some cryind days, I just call on Jesus!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 3:20am
first of all, please let me congratulate you on your pregnancy!

i know many women that longed to be pregnant, but once the pregnancy became a reality, the fears and ambivalence really hit home(along with the fatigue and morning sickness). please, don't feel that you are alone, because i believe that it is most natural to question making such a decision that will so incredibly impact and change your life (kind of like the "what have i done?!"). i trust that not only will your husbands' joy engulf you, but also the wonder of the gift you carry inside you. this child will bring you a happiness and pleasure beyond imagining.

my little boy snuggled his face into my neck tonight, as his father lie sleeping next to us. he gave me a few open-mouthed baby kisses and after saying "mama" one last time, he rolled over and fell fast asleep. i prayed that everybody would be able to treasure such moments. you simply will not believe how amazing it is.

hugs,

darice 48

mom to 8 (ds 16months, 7, 16, 24) (dd 5, 20, 20, 25)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:34am
i had three babies after i turned 40...

my wonderful second husband and i have three beautiful, healthy children, which i conceived naturally. they were born when i was 40, 42 and 46(just 2 months shy of my 47th birthday). i realize that we are so very fortunate to have had no problems becoming pregnant, altho we did have a couple of early losses before our last child was born...(i then did use progesterone suppositories/baby aspirin daily as soon as i found i was pregnant) wishing you the very best of luck if you decide to try for #3!

darice
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 7:00pm
if you would reallly rather NOT have another child (as you stated ) do you think it is really fair to the child or yourseldf to bring a child into the world that you dont really want ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I think you probably dont want this child because you are prgnt

If you were not youd probabaly still be longing for a big belly.

Grass is always greener ...........

Gd luck with your decision

Holly ion nyc
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 6:55pm
you need to forgey about what your mother and or older children will think

and decide what is best for YOU

just my opinion

gd lk with your decision

holly in nyc
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 07-10-2003 - 5:01pm
That same thing is going on with me right now. I am 39 and I have a 18 year old daughter that will be going to college this fall. My husband is 32 and doesn't have any kids of his own. We had been trying to have kids this past year, with no luck. I told him that if I was not pregnant by Dec 02, that I wanted to quit trying as I didn't want to start all over again so late in life. Well, I just found out yesterday that I am 5 weeks pregnant. He is happy, of course and I just started crying....I couldn't help it. I am on these message boards trying to find an answer. I really would rather not have another child, I had already made up my mind that I was done and really starting to feel excited about having some time to myself. I feel so terrible, it would be wrong to have a baby, if I really don't want one, but it is also wrong to not have it and ruin it for my husband. I am so confused, don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 2:54pm
Hi! I had my beautiful daughter at 40! I had no problem conceiving her. I am now 45 and thinking about one more!!! I believe things happen for a reason....if I am able to conceive naturally it will be wonderful. If it doesn't happen ....well I am so blessing with my daughter. Unfortunately, at our age infertility issues are great....but it can happen. My doctor is encouraging.....we will see!!!! Good luck, Toyar
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sat, 06-21-2003 - 10:49am
My 2 cents! You obviously have been blessed with great fertility. And your other children will be so close in age to this one should you have it. I say...go for it. It sounds like you are enjoying your children and want another one. Life is short! Take advantage of all the joy you can get.

I just turned 44 this month. I am in the process of an IVF cycle. I find out my results in early July. I have on 19 month old and have discovered that Motherhood is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I wish I had found my husband 10 years ago, but I did not. If we can't get pregnant on my own, I will use donor eggs or adopt. I get so much happiness from my family that nothing else compares.

Sorry so long! Best to you with whatever decision you make.

Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 6:54pm
I think no matter WHAT age one gets pregnant all these questions surface. It is really going into 'unknown' territory and that can be a bit scary. Rest assured that the risks for problems with the baby or the pregnancy are very very small. I think people often (without knowing the true facts) tend to imagine the worst for pregnancies of older women. I got pregnant at 45 (well almost 46) and chose NOT to say anything to my parents until I had had all of the prenatal test results back. I am not sure if you know about this but there is a FISH test which is done in conjunction with an amnio which gets results back to you within about 48 hours. The risks for genetic problems is very very low ... even at our ages. I can't give you any advise about your older kids. I do know that my older daughter (22) was not very supportive at first but now loves our now almost 2 year old. Have you found the Pregnant over 40 board? It is also a great source of information and support..... best luck to you ~ Pat
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 4:48am
Hi, I am 44 and tested positive a week ago, so I am soon 5 weeks pregnant. I have two almost grown-up children (17 and 19) with my ex-husband. We moved together with my present partner a little over a year ago, and he wanted to have a child really bad. He has a son with Downs syndrome (17), and then managed to convince me that we would try - despite all the risks, although I was against it at first. Well, I got pregnant almost immediately, but had an early m/c a years ago. Now, a year has gone and I was pretty certain that I would not become pregnant, and have really convinced myself that it is for the best - we are too old, and the risks are too big, and now I AM PREGNANT AGAIN. I am very confused. My older children hate my partner, and I know they will not be glad I have a baby with him. My mother will be terrified, and all our friends will think we are mad. My partner is really happy, but I do not know what I feel. My daughter has been very difficult during the past few years, and I am wondering how I am going to manage with a teenage child when I am sixty?

Marianne

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