So much confusion and so little time...
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|Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:52am|
Well its been a roller coaster ride. I had a m/c at 8 weeks on July 27. Got AF after that on August 29 and find myself now at cyce day 33. I took a home test and it was negative and I am not having any pregnancy signs. I had an HSG a couple weeks ago and everything looks perfect, my fsh was 7.8 and my estrodiol was below 50 on cd3. All in all I should be dancing in the streets. I bring home all the information from the RE to my DH, and now he decides he really does not want children after all. When we met, I was not supposed to be fertile, so we went in knowing we would not have kids, well miracle of miralces (and a million hours of yoga and massage later) I am fertile, but just really old. I will 41 in December. The RE says in my case gonadatropins and IUI are the way to go. All but 20% is covered by insurance. I have everything I need to have a healthy baby except a willing partner. Anyone else have a spouce freak the hell out this close to having what you wanted??
I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. This m/c was hard on us both, and life right now is just a little stressful (I am a full time nurse, full time master's student, a graduate assistant, and oh yeah my father is home on hospice for lung cancer!) I see all of these things as short term, they all have a logical end in the next several months. My dad has only days to weeks to live, I am graduating in May, and I will be a Nurse Practitioner with just one job. So our lives will be very different in 9 months.
I know this is long, and is starting to look like a rant, but ladies, you are the only ones on the planet who get it. Thanks for being who you are, I do not know any of your faces, but I sure feel like I know your souls. Thanks for being so kind.