Is TTC causing probs in your R?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Is TTC causing probs in your R?
12
Sat, 07-31-2010 - 1:06am

Is TTC and all the obsessions and emotional ups and downs causing problems in your relationship?

It is mine. I admit I am obsessed---from checking iVillage, to reading medical articles online, to books from the library to freaking out over lab results and FF cross hairs and watching TCL Baby Story, to researching REs and demanding BD as soon as my OPK lights up....and my DH is really beginning to get stressed out as much as I am.

I feel bad. He wants a baby too but I am the one that is making this whole process hellish. I am the one that is possibly too old. I am the one that has to deal with the end of my life as a fertile woman where he has no idea what that must feel like. He is upset over his receding hairline....well multiply that times 1000, add in your identity as a human female, your place in modern society as an older woman, and all the crap from childhood....and well, you've got the makings of a Woody Allen script...and a whole lot of sudden tension in an otherwise happy marriage.

I am really sad tonight because DH was upset with me over all of this, and this is the first time he has ever totally lost his temper with me when I was not being a jerk first or being unfair with him. I was just genuinely distraught over the fact that I may not be able to give him children.

And now this fighting. It isn't helping. I am bumming out tonight.

Just had to vent. Thanks for listening. I kind of have a feeling I'm not alone. If so, {{{{hugs}}}}. First round's on me.


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


TTC#1 since March 2010
Acupuncture, Chinese Herbs, OPKs, Charting (for now)





http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/flappergirl2


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 4:11pm

Dianne, what you are feeling is normal and one of my sayings in life is that "You need to feel how you feel, until you don't feel it anymore. Then you can move forward."

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2006
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:44pm

Thanks Susan, Pix and Ruth. You really are all so helpful. {{{hugs}}}

I guess the reality of all this is just sinking in and has hit me hard. I just need time to process what is happening. It is, despite my age, a shock to think we have fertility problems, and more of a shock to find out about DHs male factor. I'm sad. And it also makes one WAKE UP and face the fact that a baby may or may not be all and end all of happiness and self-worth. And if a baby is not to be in my future, I need to step up to the plate and figure out how to feel fulfilled in my life. Somehow. Because I'm definitely running on empty in the "Life's Purpose" department the last few years.


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


TTC#1 since March 2010
Acupuncture, Chinese Herbs, OPKs, Charting (for now)





http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/flappergirl2


-Dianne, 41 yo
DH 37


Pages