What will my children think?
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|Sat, 08-02-2003 - 11:47pm|
My DH and I had our first child when I was 43 (DH was 41). We were extremely lucky and conceived after three months of trying on our own with one miscarriage. We were blessed with a baby girl (Hannah Rose) born 5/2/02 with a few complications (I ended up with a C-section). I love her to death even though I felt kinda funny at the time about being 43. I was one of the oldest women in the hospital :)
I am now 44 and will be 45 in October. The thing is I really want to have another baby - not just because we would love another but also because I would like Hannah to have a brother or sister to grow up with. That, of course, is dependent upon whether or not I can even conceive again - I have a feelin' I would (I come from a fertile family). But I feel guilty and selfish somehow. My cut-off point for having children was always 45 - arbitrary but it always stuck in my head that way. Never judged women who had children older than that but just said I wouldn't cuz I would be "too old". However, now that I'm heading in that direction I just don't know. My guilt is what happens when Hannah is 18 and I'm 61? We're at her high school graduation and everyone mistakes me for her grandmother? Or when she's 30 and I'm already 73? How will she feel about that? I know this sounds stupid - why I should I let what others think stop me from doing what I want. But I'm wondering if it's fair to Hannah and maybe another child. How will they feel about having older parents when their friends (probably) have much younger ones. Yes I know they will love us, etc. but I wonder if she will be embarrassed or whateverat some point in her life? I know this sounds incredibly stupid but I struggle with it alot.
So if anyone has thoughts, encouragement, cautionary tales, whatever, I really would appreciate hearing from you all. And thanks.