Where do you startt??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Where do you startt??
3
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 12:41pm

I am a 42 yr old and my future husband is 44. He had a vasectomy almost 5 yrs ago. When i went to my dr for my annual exam i told him that we wanted a baby.. He basically gave me a number for a fertility clinic and said to consider donor eggs!!! This was without ANY exam or bloodwork. I am wondering if i should call to see if he would order a FSH test (the third day of your period??) I have never had a problem getting pg so i really dont see why i would this time except i am older and we might have a problem with the reversal.. Any ideas of where to start or what to do would be appreciated.
We sort of just thought he could have the reversal done and see what happens from there..
I have had 6 children so like i said i dont think there is a problem..lol.

Thanks,
Christi

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 10:36am

Hi Christi,

First I want to say I wish you luck. I also read one of your other posts and I can see that you are looking for what to do first. I am 41, will be 42 in October and have been trying for another child for a little over 2 years. I conceived first time out on my first child but was not ready for a second child until I was 38 nearly 39. I had been trying for a few months until I bought an OPK and after that I did conceive within a few months only to have a miscarriage at 10 weeks, due to poor egg quality. I tried to conceive for another 7 months until I went to an RE, and then I went through the process from clomid to injectibles and had several IUIs done. I had many tests done and the first I would recommend is the Day 3 FSH. All my tests came back normal. They also did a sperm count on my husband. Let me caution you though, my Day 3 FSH came out well within the good range. But finally, when I was having the IUI done with injectibles, it was obvious that my ovarian reserve was not good because of how I responded to the meds. So a good FSH level doesn't necessarily mean anything. My one alternative now is donor egg. I have considered it but am not sure I want to do that even though my DH wants to. I want a biological child.

You mentioned insemminations compared to In vitro. If you are paying out of pocket and not insured, I can tell you where I live (Pittsburgh), an IUI using Clomid costed me about 800.00 + a cycle. The IUI itself was only about 300.00 with injection of sperm (you mentioned needle in the other post, I am not sure that is what they used but I felt nothing when they did it) and the cleaning my the sperm. The other cost were Meds and Ultrasounds. I moved onto IUI with injectibles and that was running from 1600.00 to 2400.00, the Meds themselves cost about a 1000.00 per cycle and I had more ultrasounds. I have spoken to the RE about IVF and he said the cost is about 10,000.00 but being as old as I am and the poor response to the injectibles for the IUI which is the same thing I would be using to harvest my eggs I was not a candidate for that. Many RE's won't even try IVF with the woman's own eggs if she is over 42 since there isn't a high success rate. So the next step for me is a donor egg IVF which is about 16000.00. I would have to go to out of state no matter which RE I used here in Pittsburgh as many of these places are only in certain parts of the country. For this RE, since he is part of the Jones Institute, I would have to go to Virginia.

I hope this gives you some information I don't feel it is impossible for women our age to get pregnant even though the odds are stacked agaist us. Although it isn't as easy as it used to be, I think many of us can conceive. I have taken time off from my RE and the expense, and I am trying acupuncture and herbs. It's a much cheaper alternative. I may be going back to the RE and trying another alternative he had offered to have a child of my own or I may break down with a donor egg but as of yet I haven't decided.

I wish you luck and hope things work out for you and I hope this little bit of info helps you.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 12:01pm

HI lisa,

Thank you for responding to my post. I am not sure it is a good thing that my dr immediately referred me to Seattle or not?? He didnt do any tests what so ever and then brought up the whole thing of donor eggs it sort of threw me for a loop. He had just brought up the whole ivf with donor eggs i think rather than do a VR.. not sure why but..
I am like you i want it to be biologically mine, but i guess if i were to carry a pg and deliver and everything else it would be like it were mine... It just sort of added a sense of shock to things because i didnt expect that response without first doing any tests.
I think we are going to set up the VR and start at that point. Then go from there. If you would like to set up an email pal i would be willing to do that?

Thanks,
Christi

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 2:28pm

Hi Christi,

As far as the doctor going right to the IVF and donor eggs, that is the mindset of many doctors when women are over 40. My OB/GYN was not like that, in fact his wife had at least 1 child over 40. However when I went to my RE he mentioned that to me as what may have to happen to achieve a pregnancy but he wanted to try other means first. He ran tests, tried IUIs, etc. When I called another RE when I was trying to determine what RE to see they said over the phone that over 42 they will only do IVF with donor eggs. It seems to be standard, so don't be alarmed. If you want my opinion you should request a day 3 FSH, just to get a general idea how things are working. I know nothing about VR but I think it takes some time before things should be working well after it? I think they would do a sperm count on DH then. I would go see the RE as it seems your OBGYN (I am assuming it's your OBGYN) sent you there anyway, he/she may not be all that knowledgeable in this. I know mine said he wasn't other than ordering my first FSH test, he felt I would be better served by an RE. Time at our age is always precious. You could wait until things are working after the VR, you may be one of the lucky and have no problems or you can start to pursue it now to be be prepared just in case.

If you want to talk through email that would great. My address is itsjustlisab@aol.com.

Lisa