Wondering...Anyone ever conceive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wondering...Anyone ever conceive?
20
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 6:20pm

Hi everyone. My name is Sue. I’ve lurked here for a while and I was wondering...

Has anybody on this board actually conceived and delivered? I've been researching and the more I read, the less likely it seems that my odds are very good. No one in my family (that I know of) has conceived after 35. I was the "old maid" that waited too long to start a family... I was too busy having fun and living life... I kind of lost track of the old biological clock. Now I'm 42 and the "TICK-TOCK" sound is deafening. I just worry that I waited too long.

We've been trying since I got married (1999) with no luck. I've had the FSH & Estradiol tests and my numbers are OK. Hubby has an “average” sperm count, whatever that means, so he's not the problem. Maybe I'm just too old. I’ve read about problems with the lining being unable to hold the egg, or starting a period before the egg has a chance to implant. There are just so many factors that come into play. I keep reading about these celebrities who get pregnant at 45 or see these women with a brood of 8 kids ranging in age from infant to 30 and I just can't figure it out. Why can’t I get pregnant?!?!?! That’s one of the reasons I started hanging out in this forum. It helps to know that I’m not alone.

I know that there's not a big chance for conception, even with all the drugs. Its a gamble., but I’m a gambler! I have to look at the odds, though, and my odds are long. (But hey, the longshots pay off the most, right?) I've lurked here for a little while and dipped my toe in the water a few times... I've just not been that ready to dive in yet. Maybe I just don't want to hear what I am already thinking, that I'm too old and that its not going to happen. The one thing that I like about this forum is that there are so many ready to give positive support, but you also see that you aren’t alone in what’s happening to you. While I can understand the need for support and good thoughts and wishes, I also want to get a straight answer. I’d rather be hit over the head once by a two-by-four than die the death of a thousand slices (an old Chinese torture, in case you’re wondering).

I want a baby, and would love to have my own, but if we can't, I know that there are kids out there waiting to be loved... I know there are other options, but frankly, I don’t have the money to pursue them. We will probably go abroad if we adopt. Our church has assisted a few families in adopting sweet little girls from China. The church also will find ways to help us with the costs. Its amazing how there are so many here in the US who would love to have these children and yet, over there, they are willing to just throw them away because they only want sons. ARRRGGGGHHH! That just gets my blood boiling...

Anyway, I've meandered off the path and all over God's green earth... back to my question: has anyone here conceived over 40? I'm just curious… are we all chasing an impossible dream? We only have so much to spend, and when I look at the cost of the drugs, I get a little nervous. Has anyone ever heard of Freedom Drug? I’ve heard that you can get the drugs cheaper through them.

Sorry about rambling. Its just that I seem to be able to write more concisely when I’m responding than when I am initiating. Please excuse my meanderings as this is my first “initiated” posting… OK, I’ll shut up now and will let you guys talk :o)

Thanks!

Sue

PS: I want to change my name to growinghopeful… give me a reason!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 10:06pm

Hi Sue!

It's nice to find out who you are. First let me say that I am so glad that you saw my point of view when you responded today to my post. I was starting to feel pretty bad that I was misunderstood. You have also responded to another of my posts and again I appreciated you response. I am glad that you came out and introduced yourself. Your thinking seems very much in line with mine with the desire for things to be straight.

You asked if anyone has conceived after 40. Well first let me say that in my family there have a been a few that have conceived over 35 and my mom was 39 when she had me (I was a bit of a surprise as her youngest was 15 1/2 years at that time) That was one of the reasons why I thought I could try for #2 whenever I was good and ready. Although my mom just informed me recently that she had never used any type of protection so she assumed most likely she may not have been able to conceive easily. I also know a former high school classmate that married when she was 39 and had her first child at 40. As far as the over 40 thing I can say that I have a co-worker who is now 53 and conceived her first child naturally at 41 and had her second at 44, with one miscarriage in between. Another coworker of mine who is now 58 was born to a woman who was 40 at the time and she had 2 children after her. (that was definitely in a time when there were no fertility treatments). Also my OB/GYN's wife had her last baby at 41.

I definitely think there are possibilities and I have heard of a few older women going through fertility only to find out the worst and then conceive naturally. Sometimes I wonder if it is not all the drugs maybe giving a jump start to the old equipment! You never know.

The intersting thing you said was that you are a gambler. My RE when I finally got him to stop giving me the sugary side of things and give it to me straight said that basically he is an odds maker. His job is to increase the odds for me. My odds aren't too great but he has seen some long shots. And as you said isn't the payoff worth it?

As far as freedom drugs, I have never heard about them. I know I can say I literally have spent few thousand on drugs so far. Each injectible cycle has been a little over a grand for me including: Follistim, Ovidrel and then progesterone suppositories. If you find that this place actually is worthwhile please let me know.

All I can say, Sue I am glad you stepped up. I look forward to discussing more with you!

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 8:21am

It appears that I am having no problem at all conceiving past 40, even past 50! Last year, we got accidently pregnant while using a cervical cap as birth control. I was 49y. Unfortunately I miscarried at 8w.

Since then we have decided to try and see if we could have a baby together, because my new DH has never had a child. We were shocked to realize I was still so fertile at my age, but are willing to try. Since no dr will even listen to us or help, we are TTC completely naturally - with only the help of vitamins and herbs.

Since my miscarriage, we have experienced several chemical pregnancies. This means I would get several positive pregnancy tests, only to have my period start a few days late.

So, even at 50 years old, I am having no trouble conceiving. For me, my problem is holding on to a pregnancy. But I have been experiening that problem since my first pregnancy at 18y old.

~*~ Catherine (50y) & Rob (44y)
Our 1st precious baby together - m/c @ 8wks - Feb 14, 2004,
plus several possible chemical pregnancies.
My 3 children : 16y, 27y, 30y
Plus 5 + previous babies lost.
My FSH is 8!



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 2:46pm

Hi Sue,

My name is Rosanne and I just turned 40 in December. My DH and I have been TTC for 2 1/2 years.

You can get the drugs cheaper through Freedom Drug. My RE suggested it to me when I was going to have to pay for a round of injectibles out of pocket. My DH insurance will only cover $1500 per year for fertility medication and we used it all on our first injectible cycle. What you might also want to do is go to www.designrx.net and register with them. You'll receive a registration number the minute you sign up. By being registered with this program it gives you a 10%-15% discount on fertility medication. They designed it for couples who have to pay out of pocket. All you would do is call Freedom Drug, tell them that you belong to the Designrx program and give them your registration number. I registered with them when our fertility medication coverage was gone. The Designrx program is worth it as is Freedom Drug.

Well I hope I've helped you some. Good luck on your journey!

Rosanne
ttc #1
3 failed clomid cycles w/IUI
1 failed follistim cycle w/ back-to-back IUI's
On break until February

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 4:31pm

Hi Sue

I have been lurking here also but never dipped my toe in the water until now. I am 43 and had 4 miscarriages since I was 40 all between 6 and 10 weeks. My question is the same as yours. Has anyone from THIS board conceived and DELIVERED? I am also very hopeless at this point and want any evidence of possiblity.

I can conceive but according to my specialist, many woman can. The problem is how far will it develop not so much the lining of the uterus retaining it. She said that the vast number of early miscarriages, termed missed abortions (a very cold term that makes me shiver), are b/c of poor genetic quality of the eggs and the egg just stops developing b/c it doesn't have all it needs to continue. With age that is a major player. I am afraid I have waited to long.

I too, am tending toward adoption but I do not have enough information at this time to know where to turn. China may be a very good start. But for now I will keep trying to have one of my own.

I hope that you get your question answered b/c I am looking for those answers too.

Sticky Vibes and Baby Dust

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 5:33pm
oh, please do not give up. I am now 45, and have a 2 1/2 year old. I went through 3 rounds if IVF When I was 40/41 - and got pg with my child naturally after the IVF did not work. You never know what is ahead of you. We are trying to have another one, and I might be crazy = 45 ttc!! I would suggest take vitamins, and folic acid - plus you might want to investigate taking herbs that can also help you. The only issues is that it takes herbs about 6 months to take any effect. Good luck on everything! Don't feel quilty or remorseful about waiting so long - most of us on this board have lived full professional lives, and are ready to give back to a family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 5:53pm

Sue,
I started trying to get pregnant at 38 - had 3 losses and finally conceived AND delivered my one and only son at the age of 40 - well I was 2 months shy of my 40th birthday when I conceived and I was actually on bedrest for my birthday because of bleeding. I delivered a very happy, healthy little man in December of 2002. He's two now and the sole reason we are trying for #2.

Every person is different. I can get pregnant by just looking at my husband it seems - we just experienced a pregnancy again this June - I turned 42 in May. Unfortunately it resulted in a miscarriage and we know for sure it was genetic, thus due to "old eggs" "probably" per my RE. But, that hasn't stopped us from continuing to TTC. I had scar tissue removed in October and I have and always will have fibroids. It all really doesn't matter to me - we are still trying.

This month I am currently undergoing our second cycle of clomid, gonal f, hcg - then IUI. It didn't work last month but we are trying one more time. Personally, with all of the losses we have experienced I think after this try we will be done. If so, adoption is not out of the question for us either.

I think what makes all the difference in the world is your faith and ability to accept whatever God plans for you. Believe me I am not a religious fanatic - I am a good old Catholic girl who KNOWS she wouldn't have had a miracle child had she not said several Novenas during her pregnancy. :)

Good luck to you.
Michele

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 6:10pm

Hi Ladies,

I had to respond again. First let me direct this to Jillly K, I want to say that I have seen your posts before and you are the one person here that has given me the most inspiration when I am down. Yours is the story I like to hear because after failing with the help of doctors and when all looked hopeless you did succeed! I am hoping I can come to this board and write that story in the future!

The second is I had completely forgotten about designrx, it was good that Rosanne brought that up. I am signed up with them too. I live in Pennsylvania and my RE suggested I use Encino Pharmacy in California because that is where he thought the meds seemed to be less. When I set my account up with the pharmacy they did suggest I go online and sign up. I had forgotten because my order is then called in and shipped to me from that Pharmacy and I have had to do nothing else when I needed refills. I am not so sure I am getting the best price from that pharmacy though as their price was $2.00 higher with the discount than a place locally was for Ovidrel (I once had to get it on short notice). It seems though if Rosanne spent $1500.00 a cycle and she was using Follistim also then I might be doing better as I only spent about $1000.00 for the Follistim, Ovidrel and progesterone although I don't know what her dosages were. I am definitely looking into Freedom Pharmacy.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 9:36pm

Hi Sue,


I had my son at age 37.

Jan & Matthew (11) - mild hypotonia, apraxia, dysarthria, autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 1:57am

Hi, My name is Tammy and I am 41 years old. I have never posted, but have been a lurker for the past 9 months. I just had to share my story with you. You asked if anyone on this board has ever conceived after the age of 40.

I have a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. In January of 2004, I found out that i was pregnant. ( I hadn't been on birth control for about 5 years). My husband and I were completely shocked. The shock soon turned to excitement. My husband was floating on air. I had never seen him so happy. In late February we miscarried. We were devastated. I thought my world was coming to an end. My OB suggested that I have a tubal ligation. I refused and told him that I could not make that kind of decision while being so hormonal and that I would think about it.

My husband and I decided that we would wait one more year before having a tubal ligation. We decided to let nature take its course, and developed the attitude that if it was meant to be it would happen for us again.

My OB strongly suggested that we wait for at least 3 months before trying to conceive.
Well, I had a period in March, but didn't have a period in April. I went to the drug store and bought a pregnancy test. I didn't even tell my husband that I was late. Guess what. It was positive. I had just turned 41. The only person I told was my husband. At 10 weeks I asked my Ob for an ultrasound to verify the pregnancy and establish a heartbeat. I cried, when I saw my little peanut with a heartbeat of 160. Two tiny arms and two tiny legs. We then decided to share the news with our old children. I was a nervous wreck until 13 weeks. I freaked out everytime I went to the bathroom, preparing myself for another heartbreak. At 16 weeks I had an amnio with a level 2 ultrasound. The ultrasound was perfect, and the amnio showed a healthy little baby girl with no abnormalities. We then felt comfortable enough to share the news with our family and friends.

To make a long story short, My daughter was born December 28, 2004, weighing 7 pounds and 10 ounces. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I am only 2 months shy of turning 42. I never used any type of fertility treatment. I never checked for ovulation. It just happened for me naturally.

The only thing I could suggest is pump yourself up on Vitamins. I started taking Vitamins last October. I was anemic and had mouth sores due to Vitamin B deficiency. I actually had a B12 injection. I had more energy and two months later I was pregnant. Maybe it was only a coincidence. I will never know for sure. But the Vitamins sure could not hurt.

My baby is now 16 days old. I feel younger. People tell me I look younger. I have a whole new reason for living. My husband and kids are so in love with her. Its just a wonderful feeling. I can honestly say that we both appreciate this baby so much more now that we are in our 40's.

I hope my story helps. Don't give up.

Tammy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 4:14pm
Tammy,
What a great ending! Congratulations. Enjoy your new little princess.
Michele

Pages