43 and completely overwhelmed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
43 and completely overwhelmed
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:52am
Hi Katanya here. I really need some hope. Please read my story under chit chat and 42 and terrified. I am really worried. I still have not got a cycle. I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should let the doctors bring it on, wait to see if the next one comes (October 3rd) or just give up all together. Please share your stories about perimenopause and conceiving. I need to hear from people that have missed cycles but still got pregnant! Please don't tell me this is the end. I need encouragement bad!!!! Please email me at Katanya6@yahoo.com if you want to send a private. PLease....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 4:23pm
Ciao Katanya,
(do you remember me, from Italy?)I just read your post, you sound so desperate that I hope to give you some relief: I know very well your feelings of despair, I had myself experienced the same things. maybe I'm not the best example to give you hope, while I'm not yet had success in conceiving, but...there are so many many women who get natural pg in their 43, 44, 45 and over! just yesterday, my husband told me about a sister of an acquaintance of him who got first time pg at 48, when she thought to be in menopause. now the "baby" is a wonderful girl 12years old!
moreover, I read about you that you alread had a pg: no matter if it lasted just 1 month, the really good thing it's you CAN get pg! and, finally, don't worry about your being late on cycle, it can be perfectly normal to "skip" one cycle, it happened a lot of time to women that after have a successful pg! best wishes, sorry for my bad English, I hope it is somehow understandable
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 5:58pm

Hey Giomarina,

Nice to hear from you again. Thank you for your thoughts. I am very sad. My husband is laid off and I just got turned down for another teaching job. I am really worried about the baby thing. I actually skipped two cycles. Have you ever done that? My husband is losing a lot of enthusiasm for the whole thing. He does not even want to go for testing. I don't know what to do. I am really glad to hear from you. Write me at my email address, Katanya6@yahoo.com. Maybe we can be pin pals. I always wanted a pen pal from Italy. I am at work so I gotta go. They had made me work a night shift to boot too!! Can you believe it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 5:36pm


I know how you feel but you need to try to let go of all that fear. Both times I got pg was when I didn't think it would happen and I relaxed....and i did it on my own. Then I got desparate and spent 30K on IVF. Didn't work.

I now am taking my temp in the morning and charting and enjoying sex with my husband. I was consumed by having to have a baby...it almost drove me nuts. It's easier said than done--especially at our age (I'm 42) but sometimes our bodies are our own worst enemies due to the stress and the hormpones from stress we produce. Thay are coming up with new tchnology all the time plus you can use DE up to age 52.

Here's an example of new technology :

'Natural-cycle' IVF

Along with a few other couples, Terri and Brian came to Barnert Hospital in Paterson recently to hear about a less invasive, less costly IVF approach from Dr. Douglas Rabin, a Harvard-trained obstetrician and reproductive endocrinologist in Fair Lawn.

"After you've gone through 40 shots in 15 days, and you're unsuccessful, it can become not only extremely costly but really unbearable both physically and `emotionally," Rabin says.

He soon hopes to offer a new approach pioneered in Europe, which uses milder oral medications to stimulate the release of just one to three eggs. They're harvested in a 10-minute procedure without need for anesthesia.

"Adding lots of medication, especially in older patients, just pushes out eggs that otherwise probably wouldn't make it on their own," says Rabin. "If the body can identify the healthiest egg, why not let it do so?"

Trials indicate that after five or six attempts, there is a 70 percent chance of conception, about the same as with conventional IVF.

But the cost is $6,000 to $6,500, "a lot easier for a patient paying out of pocket, even if you have to do more cycles," says Rabin. And older women would not automatically be disqualified.

Dr. Philip R. Lesorgen of the Women's Fertility Center in Englewood is starting to test this new approach as well. He also offers "natural-cycle" IVF to eligible patients.

"There's no medication involved," Lesorgen says. "We just take the one egg that's produced per cycle and that way it's less expensive."

Fertility specialists in New Jersey and worldwide are looking at other lower-cost, less-invasive ways to improve IVF success rates. Scientists are trying cognitive behavioral therapy, rather than drugs, to stimulate ovulation. They're determining if the chance of pregnancy after embryo transfer is greater if patients immediately are given acupuncture or entertained by clowns to make them laugh.

I don't know if this helped but hope it did ! Good Luck !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 8:41pm
Yes, it did. Any hope helps. I actually got my numbers back and they were really excellent again. No where near perimenopause, according to my doctor, he said he was suprised. I am even more perplexed as to why I have not had two cycles??? How can I chart without cycles? Have you done it? Please help. Hugs