43.5 and questions about TTC

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Registered: 03-28-2010
43.5 and questions about TTC
19
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 11:40am

hey there! This may be long, but my fiance & I are in the 'thinking stages' & I have questions that maybe some other women can answer for me.

1st my background: I had my dd, when I was 31, in my 1st marriage (conceived, no problem, without even trying....I was VERY blessed).

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

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Registered: 06-01-2005
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 12:31pm
I just joined in myself... but I felt that I could help with some of your questions. My husband is 46 and he is a smoker. It really hasn't affected his sperm. If your fiance can quit I've heard it takes about 3 mos for him to be "cleaned out" if that makes sense. Magnesium and zinc can also help with his semen.

Yes, over 40 you have a higher chance of loss. Its about 50/50 mostly due to the fact that our eggs are older. People of all ages have babies with Downs. I have several friends who have Downs children and they were in their 20's and 30's when they had them.

There are special fertility blend vitamins that you can purchase for both of you that can help. I have never taken them but I've read great reviews on them. I had my girls at 37 and 39. I did have a loss when I was 41. My grandmother was 44 when she had my aunt who is a healthy 70 year old now.
Carol
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Registered: 03-28-2010
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 12:44pm

awesome....THANK YOU for your post!

I was thinking more about what I posted and our 'fears'.....BUT, I guess what I am MOST afraid of, is not even 'trying' and always looking back, at our short window of opportunity and wondering 'what if'......if we at least 'try' and can't conceive, then there is our answer.

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 3:50pm

Hi again! First off, I will go and bump up the acronym list for you with all of our abbreviations on it. I had to study it when I first got here.

I don't have any statistics on Downs but from my personal experience, I have lost 3 in the last year that my dr says more than likely had chromosomal abnormalities.

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2005
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 8:31pm

You can have a CVS at 9-12 weeks instead of an amnio, then you can find out much earlier than 20 weeks whether the baby has a chromosomal abnormality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 9:04pm
If you dont try then you will have those lingering what ifs. I think I can deal with not getting another baby easier than I could deal with wondering what could have been.

Fears for your baby's health are there no matter what age you are. Its part of being a mother. We decided that we would be blessed by any child that we were given if we were able to have another child. Each child is a treasure. My nephew is 21 and legally blind. My sister had her tubes tied and had no clue she was pregnant until she was 5 mos. While my nephew can't drive a car he can still do many of the same things other young people do. I often forget that he is "blind" because we never treated him that way. I can't imagine him not being in my life.

If you can afford it there are so many things they can do now to help older parents ensure a healthy baby and pregnancy.
Avatar for cowboys_grl
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Registered: 03-28-2010
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 10:44am

I don't even know what I am worried about in the 1st place?! I probably won't even get pregnant, once we try!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 1:38pm

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

Avatar for cowboys_grl
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Registered: 03-28-2010
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 4:15pm

thanks Vickie!

Yaaayyy, he texted me, earlier and said, "it's going to be hard, but I am really going to try to not smoke when I get home."

So, it's a 'start'......well, at least, we a making a move toward 'something'!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2010
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 4:41pm

YAY for hubby!

My Ovulation Chart <img      

  

Avatar for cowboys_grl
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Registered: 03-28-2010
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 5:42pm

Wel, thank you....we'll see, I'll keep posting & updating, what's going on, just in case anyone else in their 40's reads this & is curious!

I have had a pretty messed up life, up until I started counseling (when I was 35) and have been trying to 'heal my wounds' of the past.....I continue to have to deal with, not one, but two messed up parents.

My saving grace, in my life, has been my dd (who I am so blessed with....she really is a gift from God!) & now my fiancee....so it would be REALLY nice to be blessed again.

BUT, we will try until I turn 45 & if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.....I will be sad, but I will continue to realize & thank God, for all my blessings I have today & continue to have each future day!

I know I sound corny, but I have had a REALLY tough life, growing up & have faced death 4 times.....so I have a lot of experience behind my 43 years.

Anyways, I will check in, from time to time...this is exciting!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

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