All new to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
All new to me
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 11:37pm

Hi there. I have never posted here or really talked properly about my situation before to anyone as I have found it too painful. I turned 40 a month ago and have been with my husband for 14 years. I never started to think about having children until I was about 34/35 (we married when I was 33). I started to realise pretty quickly that my husband was not interested in having children. That probably sounds strange, having been together for some time by then, but it was something we had never discussed seriously and I assumed we would just one day start a family.

I have become more and more depressed over this issue, especially over the last 2 years. In November my husband suddenly announced we should start trying for a baby! As you can imagine I was quite pleased.

That was 5 months ago. My first problem is that sex has dwindled in our relationship over the years although we love each other very much, and we do not have sex often. Yes that probably sounds ridiculous when one is considering having a baby. It doesn't help that we both work long hours and are always tired and travel alot! In addition to the stress of rarely having sex I suddenly find myself being 40 years old, knowing that my chance of conceiving and then carrying successfully to full term is dwindling.

I'm not asking for any advice on the sex issue, I know this is a fertility post and I've probably rambled on a bit. I was wondering though if anyone could give me some advice on starting out on trying to conceive at this age as this is all very new to me. I am seeing my doctor soon - is it normal/possible/advisable to have a fertility test straight away even before trying to conceive ? I am very healthy, have always and continue to have regular periods and have never been on the pill. Any words of wisdom or advice would be much appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: aelilk
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:44pm


I'm so happy for you that you and your husband are now on the same page regarding having a child.

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