Anyone TTC after a loss?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Anyone TTC after a loss?
9
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 9:45pm

Hi:

I very recently had a late term miscarriage (at 17 weeks)which was due most likely to a chromosonal problem (still waiting for pathology reports but I think it may have been T18.) I do have three healthy children, the youngest of which is just three.

Has anyone else had such a loss, especially one involving a chromosonal issue - which we are probably all a little sensitive to - and what has helped you muster the courage to TTC. I turned 40 in July and want to try again but every day I go back and forth - am I crazy? Othertimes I feel almost confident - the odds are still in my favor.... I wonder if this m/c was due to my age or just my card coming up based on m/c statistics in general. Wish I had a hotline to God...

Thanks for any thoughts/feedback,

Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 10:26am

Hey,

Have I ever been though it. Here is my story that I posted in another place and have pasted here:

I am 41 and getting ready to do an ivf cycle with pgd. I have two daughters, conceived in one month when I was 34 and 36. At age 38, the wheels fell off my fertility engine. I have had two miscarriages in the first trimester requiring a D&C. They were able to test one of the babies and it was a trisomy 22. This is caused by older eggs that do not divide properly. I have also had 6 chemical pregnancies over the last 3 years. This is a positive blood test that miscarries very early before anything can be seen in the uterus -usually in the first week into the pregnancy. I have been tested for everything under the sun and the answer to the miscarriages is the obvious - older eggs. Nothing is wrong with me and I have conceived and carried to term successfully in the past - at a younger age. All of the miscarriage pregnancies were conceived naturally.

I am seeing an RE in Atlanta and was told that my chances of success for IVF with PGD are around 10%. That was before my fsh levels were tested. My day 3 fsh is 5 and after the clomid challenge test, it was 7.5. This is excellent. What a good fsh number means is that you will repsond to the drugs and produce many eggs. However, while we still have a lot of eggs left, the quality will be that of a 41 and 42 year old woman. My numerous miscarriages are evidence of my declining egg quality. While we will produce eggs in response to stimulation, we will lose some at each stage of the process because of quality and lose more than a younger woman will. Some will not fertilize, some will not make it to day 3, and many after the pgd testing will be found to be abnormal and not transferred back.

Your best shot is IVF with isci and assisted hatching and pgd. This is what we are doing. I will do it one time because the results each time are usually the same and it is too expensive. If it does not work, we will pursue embryo donation which is much cheaper than egg donation. ISCI is where they inject the sperm into the egg. This is because older eggs can be brittle and harder for sperm to penetrate. Assisted hatching is where they use a little acid to break the shell on day 5 so the little embryo can "hatch" out of the egg and implant in the uterus. Brittle older eggs also make it harder for the embryo to hatch.

10% of the time with pgd they will find that none of the embryos that did fertilize and survive are chromosomally normal. Also, they do not like to do pgd if there are less than 6 day 3 embryos because it is hard for the embryos to survive in the test tube solution until day 5 when the pgd results come back and they have a better chance in the uterus. So some plan to do pgd but do not get it. I will do it no matter how few because I cannot go through another miscarriage or face a child with special needs.

Acupuncture has been proven to increase IVF success so since this is my last best chance, I am doing acupuncuture before the IVF cycle we will do in January.

Hope this helps answer your questions. I think my odds go up from 10% if I get a lot of eggs and some of them make it to day 3 and test normal with pgd.

I would recommend that you go with what I am doing if you can afford it. It is the best possible chance of success. For me, I have to know that I did everything before I can let go of having another child that is mine. And, please know that some REs are very concerned about their success rate so try to push people toward egg donation. You have a good fsh so I think one try is worth it.

Finally with all these extra things, you need a very skilled embryologist in the RE office. Make sure they have done this stuff for a long time. Pick the best for your long shot!

I would hate for you to go through all of the miscarriages that I have suffered. And to have a loss at 17 weeks must have been so so hard for your whole family. I am very scared I would end up with down's, or trisomy 13 or 18 if I continued to try on my own and having been pregnant I know that I could not intentionally terminate a pregnancy that late in the game. No judgment on anyone else, just something I know I cannot do. This is why I am doing pgd where they test ahead of time for a trisomy.

Julianne

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 11:39pm
Andrea- Yes, I have been right there in your shoes. I had a Trisomy 18 loss at 16 weeks 2 1/2 years ago at age 41. I was right back in there TTC after the loss. I had another pregnancy loss 14 months ago at 7 weeks. I am not doing anything as far as fertility treatments. I have four healthy children, and know I am blessed to have them. I really feel like there is another little soul out there, I just don't know how to reach her/him. I have started thinking about a china adoption, but am not ready to give up on myself. I am a very healthy, fit 44 year old who just wants another child! How difficult can that be? I have gone through times of obsession over this, now I just hope month to month that something happens, and God blesses us with one more. I could handle Down Syndrome, I am not sure what I would do if T18 happened again. T18 is very grim. If your baby did indeed have T18, he/she is in a better place right now. I don't know how I would have survived a birth and a very ill (if alive) baby. I know my family would have suffered terribly. It was the single worse thing I ever had to go through. And we had not told anyone, so we suffered alone. I would not do that again. I would talk about it. I don't really have advice. It does get better over time, but that longing for another child is a hard one to shake. Good luck to you. I am sorry you had to suffer this loss. Julie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 11:59am

Hi Julie
I was so happy to see your post and I wanted to say hello and let you know that I am right with you and praying each month that God will bless me with another. I too feel that there is another little soul out there meant just for us. My husband refuses to do the IFV/PGD thing again and I can't say that I blame him. The entire experience was horrific. I keep telling myself you're still young enough (age 41) and women at my age Have healthy babies every day. I just can't wait until it's my turn. Have a wonderful holiday! For me it will be much better than last year, I had just lost Joseph in late November and I was truly joyless.

Have to run but I will post more later to give my details of my losses and trying to conceive.

Marisol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:24pm

Andrea,


First of all I am so sorry for your loss. Many HUGE hugs to you !


I have had 2 m/c but they were early and they could not do any tests. I am thinking that it was also due to chromosomal issues. I am still trying at 42 but just on our own. We've done 4 IUI's and 2 IVFs and are out of money. Our next step will be either donor eggs or adoption. We are currently in limbo....trying on our own with a lot of faith. I keep telling myself that i have to have at least ONE good egg in there so I wait, and I hope, and i wait some more.


I like you go back and forth about what to do and where to go next as we have no children and do want to have a family........so, I understand where you are coming from and it's so sad that we and all others here are even in this spot.


Will be praying for you and sending positive thoughts your way. keep us posted and feel free to vent anytime !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 12:49am

Sarah:

Thank you for your post. We too will be trying the old fashioned way. I am hopeful that I might have some success as I was at at least able to get pg this last time. I am hopeful that we'll get a good egg and all the stars will be aligned. I am still afraid of miscarrying again but am trying to muster courage and confidence and will be trying to separate any future pregnancies I might be blessed with from this one. I know women out there go on to have babies after losses - even over 40.

We were not able to find out what caused our baby's death even though we were able to deliver him because they could not grow the cells, even after four attempts. I still suspect it was chromosonal but was hoping we'd get something concrete.

God bless you!

Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 12:59am

Julie:

Thanks for posting. I am so sorry you have been in these shoes too - and more than once. I agree - T18 is just so heartbreaking. There is next to no hope for a T18 baby. I had never heard of it before this but now am much more well aquainted with it than I would ever have imagined. Unfortunately I won't ever know exactly what it was. My doctor called on Friday to tell me they were not able to determine the cause of the baby's death but he is still certain it as a trisomy. I expected T18 bcause my afp results came back with an elevated risk for it but since I do not know exactly when the baby died - it could have been before the blood draw - we don't have a clear diagnosis. I know women go on to have healthy babies after trisomies - even in thier 40s so I have hope (just not a lot of courage.)

Thanks,

Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 3:34am

I have had two miscarriages. one when i was 34 and one last weekend. Both I had only gotten to 5 weeks. I am now 41 dob 8/65. my husband and i havnt used bc since we got married in july. 5 months it took to get pregnant.

I dont know if i can go thru another miscarriage. the dr said next time get in immediatly as soon as you know you are preg... which is about the time i miscarry...

ugh

Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 8:48pm

Wendy:

I am so sorry about your loss - especially so close to the holidays. I'm having a hard time today and it has been a month and a half since I lost my baby. I don't quite have that holiday spirit.

Thanks for posting. I want to try again but I am petrified with fear that I'll lose another or that something will go wrong. I am so focused on the negative after losing mine that I feel hopeless so I appreciate your post because it is encouraging to me that many women our age are trying, even after losses - which are heartbreaking. I have so many friends who have had healthy babies in their 40s and I am encouraged by that we well.

Hugs to you Wendy..and a good dose of baby dust for the new year.

Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 8:56pm

I know how you feel!!! I didnt put up the Christmas tree this year. Plus my oldest daughter (Laura 18) just moved her husband and son into the house and it was a choice to give them the money to pay off bills or have Christmas. I chose to give them the money... so I have no money, I dont feel like celebrating. My husband is in another country and I miss him so badly and I feel like crying every time I see a pregnant woman or today even my 5 month old grand son...

I know this year will be better however. It has to be.

Ho HO Ho Merry Christmas