Coming from TTC after Miscarriage Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Coming from TTC after Miscarriage Board
8
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 2:23pm

I have been on the TTC after miscarriage board, however, just found this message board which relates to me as well as I am 40 and TTC.

I miscarried about 2 weeks ago, first one. I really didn't expect that I would. I thought I would get pregnant and have a baby, never entertaining the thought of miscarriage. Didn't think it would happen to me. Found out I was pregnant right before my 40th birthday, and then miscarried at 12 weeks (found out through an ultrasound). It was devastating to have gone almost three months thinking I was pregant, and then to find out I wasn't (blighted ovum?). I was really worried about my "window of opportunity" due to being 40 years old. I heard much negativity about my age! Although my mother had me at age 44 (naturally).

My DH and I are like so many of you, with a full life enjoying travel, sports, camping etc etc. I never thought I wanted children, and then I met my DH close to 40 years of age. When I found out I was pregnant, I wasn't happy, I thought my full life was over...I couldn't have that glass of wine, go horseback riding...so on and so forth. Then after a while, I really wanted to have the baby, and realized that I could still do lots of stuff! Of course as I mentioned earlier I miscarried. My DH and I were both so sad. For a while, I kept thinking that it was me, and must have been my age. Everyone on the message board has been so supportive. I realized that I am not alone, and there are lots of women over 40 having babies. My mother was one of them when she had me at 44 years of age. I had the best childhood, she did so much with me.

I truly believe 40 is a great age to have a child. TTC again.
Carolina

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:11pm

Carolina,

There are many wonderful women on this board (as well as the Pregnant After 40 board, where there are sections for those of us 40 and over who're trying to conceive). I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Your story sounds a lot like mine... got married at 41, pregnant shortly thereafter and misarried. My third miscarriage was this past winter when I was 17 weeks along...We thought we were well past the safe period and told everyone...and then had to tell them a few days later that I had lost our baby boy. :-( I turned 45 last month and can feel the clock ticking loudly...

I will tell you that I have plenty of friends who had babies at your age (their firsts). And a dear friend had two miscarriage (all around 13 weeks) and then got pregnant at 43 and delivered a healthy gorgeous baby when she was almost 44.

You sound like a wonderful woman who had happily come to terms with being pregnant, even though it would've meant changing your lifestyle.

I wish you the best of luck in TTC again...Please be sure to get plenty of rest. Your body's been put through the wringer and deserves it!

xxoo
Lois

  

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:23pm
Thanks Lois,
Yes, it is wonderful to have this support. I can't imagine the pain you felt after thinking you had gotten to the safe period, and then telling everyone (We didn't tell anyone, so no one knew). I really do wish for you that conceive your #1....sending much luck your way!!!
Carolina
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:40pm

Welcome, Carolina.


I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage.


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:50pm
Thanks for your support. I looked at your webiste, and your baby evan is soooo..cute!!
Carolina
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 4:23pm
Aw, thanks!


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

Avatar for kfrog606
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 10:42am
Welcome! I am 42 and I had two miscarriages before my third son. He is now 3. I had one at 12 weeks and one at 8 weeks and then started bleeding the same way with him as with the miscarriages, except this time it stopped and he is here at 3.5 years old! So, don't give up hope. The one at 12 weeks was hard for me because I delivered in the ER and it had stopped developing. I know the doctor saw the baby, but he didn't show anything to me. I could tell by the look on his face. Keep trying. I think every day how sad I would be if I didn't try the third time after the 2 miscarriages. He is just the most loving of the three and such a joy. Best of luck and big hugs. At 42, I have been trying for about a year with no success. Thinking I want just one more, but we will see if that happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 10:33pm
I have a blighted ovum also (at 39). I was very sad until I realized what a blighted ovum actually was. The egg and sperm fertized but nothing happend after that point so a baby actually never started to form. I had to have a d&c and my doctor told me to wait three months before TTC again. We waited the three months then boom, pregnant again. The result this time is a beautiful little girl (who is now 14 months). Be happy that you can get pregnant and the odds are that next time you will carry to term. Good luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 11:03am
Thanks,
Thats encouraging....I never really looked at it that way.
Carolina