Empty Arms.

Glancing out the window, waiting to read the stick.

Wanting desperately to stay positive, but my future is about to be revealed, and I just can't look.

My heart aches every time I see a negative line, and yet it steels to brace me for the ones that follow.

Why can't one be positive, why am I not worthy, Lord?

Do you see something in me that I don't see? Something dark that doesn't deserve?

Or, do you see that you need me to mother those who are not "my own," for they too need a motherly caress?

I have faith that you will point me in the right direction, but it still hurts to think, that the one thing I truly want in this life may never, ever come true.

All of my birthday wishes and prayers have the same subject line. 

I'm lucky in so many ways, and I thank you for that, but my only remaining wish is for my empty arms to be filled with a healthy, wiggly little baby.

So if you could add a second very dark line, I would be so appreciative.