First invitro appt this week, questions.

Greetings board members :) I used to be all over ivillage boards when my kids were younger. They are now 13 and 15, and as I come back here to this awesome place, I'm a little confused by the new boards :(

Anyway, here's my story, I hope some of you can relate or help answer questions! My first husband died when my children were 4 and 6. I remarried last year to a man who has no children and would love some. Personally, I've always wanted more and have been so excited to try :) Well, things haven't been as easy as when I was in my 20s, obviously. My doctor has done four IUI procedures with clomid ranging up to 100 mg and those shots as well, but no luck :( My first visit with a new specialist is this week to talk about invitro. I am SO AFRAID that he will laugh me right out of the office or talk immediately about donor eggs. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Is that my only option? Should I give it all up now? Not sure. Thanks in advance for any comments :)