First time TTC at 45, need guidance

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
First time TTC at 45, need guidance
10
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 7:11pm
I could use some advice...I'm 45, will be 46 in December. Unlike many of you, I don't have any other children, and am a first time TTC. I am a newlywed, my first marriage at 45, and I suppose I would call myself a late bloomer. Anyway, I live in a very rural area, and just moved here last Dec, so I went to an OB/GYN that was recommended to me as my usual gyn is now 2+ hours away. To make a long story short, it was NOT a positive experience. The doctor was not supportive in regards to me wanting to try to conceive; she was negative, offered no advice or information, and generally burst my bubble. I haven't had any luck finding a new doctor within 45 an hour of here, one who has had other patients in their 40's. While I am searching, I figure I could begin to try to get pregnant, as it could certainly take a long time. It's been recommended to me by women from the "pregnant after 40" board, to start taking prenatal vitamins and also folic acid. Is there anything else I should do now, before I actually find a suitable doctor? I started taking folic acid about 3-4 months ago, I take 400 mcg a day, is that enough? Does anyone know what is the recommended amount? Any advice would be appreciated. I don't have anyone to talk to about these issues, so I'm very happy to have found this forum!

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 11:38pm
I am sorry you had such a negative experience at the Dr. but don't let it get you down. My Dr. recommened 800mcg folic acid. The others things you can do are to chart your temperatures. A good website to get information from is Fertility Plus.com. Do not let your self get discouraged, alot of women over 40 can get pregnant naturally and dont need any help. I have been pregnant 3 times over 40 but unfortunately do not have a baby in my arms yet. I had 2 m/c's and one full term stillbirth due to umbilical cord accident. ( nothing to do with my age). Now the 2 m/c's may have had to do with my age but when I got pregnant the 3rd time I got right to the dr and they put me on progesterone injections and baby aspirin. I am now 45 and have been ttc again since our daughter died 14 months ago. I think the stress from grieving over her has played a big part in us not getting pg again yet, but I am getting hopeful that it will happen soon. I am now on Clomid.

good luck to you

Nancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 4:55am
I am so glad you found these boards, especially so far from in-person support. Don't assume it won't happen naturally. At the same time, my advice is to look for the nearest and best reproductive facilities within a 3+ hour drive. Preliminary tests are very important right now so you and your DH don't wait years to find out you could have done something straightforward when so much time has passed. I'm 40 and just starting ttc #1, like you. It takes time to find answers and even to find the questions, sometimes. I would drive 6 hours to go straight to the top RE, every week if I had to. I'm not in your situation, though, as I am so fortunate to have just moved to a city with top repro. health care facilities 5 minutes from home.

Read everything you can (these boards are great resources)so you can anticipate anything your doctors may suggest, and anticipate decisions as they come. This will help maximize your time at far away appointments. And have your DH do preliminary tests, too. He can see a urologist specializing in infertility and have his SAs done. If possible, they'd be done at an andrology lab that handles infertility all the time. My suggestion is to make the effort to go directly to the RE, urologist, and do the preliminary tests, at the best facilities you can get to.

In the meantime, do otc ovulation kits to confirm you are ovulating monthly. And definitely chart (read Toni Weschler's book, & I like the ovusoft.com software for charting). It's amazing to know what your body is up to. BOTH of you be sure to take a high powered multivitamin (c 500, e 4-800, folic acid 4-800, calcium, zinc, etc.). And don't forget to BD!

I wish you all the luck in the world. There's nothing better than finding great love and happiness at our age, and it will be such a thrill when we can move on to the pregnancy boards! -pea

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 2:12pm
Hi, My name is Robin and i'll be 44 in December and we have been trying for about 9 months to conceive #2. I had my first child at 41 without any help except for my husband, HeHe. I've had some testing done and my doctor says everything looks ok but still no luck. I have an appt in nov with her and we may try a few cycles of clomid to see if that helps but it makes me nervous to think about taking something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 5:28pm
what brand of multivitamins should be taken for women ttc at 45?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 1:38pm
I'm 40 and just had my son in may. I got pregnant after 8 months of trying...I also saw a acupuncturist...it's a lot cheaper than seeing a specialist for fertility...with in 2 cycles I was pregnant. I'm trying to get pregnant again...it's been 3 cycles...I'm going back to the acupuncturist if I'm not pregnant this month.....good luck to you...stay calm...I also had massages and recieved REIKI while trying to get pregnant.

patty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 2:09pm
I've been taking one-a-day womens formula for a couple of years now and my doctor said that was fine even during my pregnancy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 10:46pm
I'm trying for the first time and I just turned 42. Like you, I got a bit of attitude from my docs. My husband had a vasectomy reversal in March (he has two grown kids), but we haven't had any luck yet. Both my family practice doc and the Ob/gyn she sent me to for a Clomid challenge (to see if I was ovulating reliably) were a bit incredulous about our chances of conceiving, considering my age and his reversal. Both of these women are in their early to mid 30s and both recited my odds of having a baby with birth defects before they told me what I should do to ensure a healthy baby. I think my GP is coming around, though. She's very interested in how it's going :-).

I have two friends who had first babies at 38 and 40 without intervention. So I'm hoping there's hope. I've heard that when you try as late as we are, it's best to get aggressive early on, so see a fertility expert ASAP. I bought a fertility monitor (A bit pricey, but what the heck. This is important.) and it shows my high and peak fertility each month. Easier than taking my temperature and charting. If my husband's first post-reversal sperm analysis comes back ok this week and I'm not pregnant in another three months, I'm headed for more aggressive measures myself. Good luck to you!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 8:19pm
Glad you responded with your story . NIce to know I'm not the only one experiencing less than enthusiastic doctors. I searched around and finally found an OB/GYN I really like. I "interviewed" him to see how he'd react to me TTC at 45 years old. He was just great, he was supportive without being unrealistic. He told me all the problems I may encounter, but he was also very positive about my chances. He said that although the 40's age group is not the majority by a long shot (for PG), it is no longer unusual. He also said that given my age, we don't have months and months and years to try. He wants to be aggressive, so wants DH to have a sperm analysis immediately and wants me to have an HSG immediately after my current cycle. I am dealing with coming off years of BCP, so I'm anticipating some problems due to that also.

Anyway, I wanted to mention that you are smart in not wanting to wait months, but would rather jump into more aggressive means if a short period of time yields no results. Lots of luck to you & stay in touch.

Carol

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:17am
That's wonderful news, Carol. I'm glad you found a doc who's supportive.

You know, I have a college friend who's a labor and delivery nurse. She claims the OBs with the worst attitude are the women. She always told me "Get a male OB. They're a lot nicer." I don't know if that's necessarily true, but I think we women tend to be less forgiving of our own kind :-)

Anyway, we had good news today. Our first post vasectomy-reversal sperm analysis came back and it shows we have a full house. I'm thrilled. We've only been TTC for two cycles, but I'm really impatient! Like you said, we don't have time to monkey around.

Thanks for the update. Keep in touch.

Jodi



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 9:11am
Jodi,

That's WONDERFUL news! Hopefully you are on your way! We are in our first cycle, and I've been climbing the walls over this. I know I need to relax and see how things progress, but I'm having a hard time being patient. We just got married in May, and DH would love to have a few years with just us, but I keep reminding him I don't have the luxury of time. At the moment, he isn't too crazy about all this TTC stuff. He's so afraid he's too old to be a dad, he's worrying about financial issues (having a kid in college as retirement hits). But he also wants me to be happy, and I know he'd love having a son or daughter to fuss over and spoil! It's hard, though, because I don't want to force the issue, but I can't close the door on it either.

I found the comment about female OB/GYN's to be interesting. I've always favored female GYNs, but actually never found any of them to be exactly waht I needed. At this point, I just want someone who will be helpful, supportive and caring. I couldn't care less if that is a monkey, if it can help me get PG, then so be it!!!! :)

I hope things continue to go well for you. Maybe we'll both graduate to the PG boards at the same time!

Carol