Emily (Ada's maman since 3/14/04)
Dear cl-emily and all the ladies who dont know:Well, the 2nd ivf attempt didnt work ladies. 2 eggs transfered, negative resultsI stepped away from the board and other boards on this site, and had to wait till I collected myself, my thoughts, and talked to my doctor before I could come back.I was so sad, I mean my eggs have been 8 cell eggs, a remarkable feat for my 46 yrs of age and it just seemed that everything was fine until the last 2 weeks.why always a negative pregnancy test?Well..the doctor told me that the age is the factor.So doc what are my options???Heres what he told me:1)egg donor-implanting another womans egg fertilized with my Dh's sperm in my womb would give me more than 50% chance of becoming pregnant, but the saddest thing I would have to accept is that the baby would only share my hubbys chromosomes.This makes me wanna cry, the whole reason we want to have a child is because its part of us ya know? Am I just too picky and selfish about this?2)Go for ivf#3-Which the doctor thinks I should try this procedure again for the lasttimeof course if I become pregnant, then this child would share both of our genetics, but can I handle being disappointed again??, the needles, bruises again??3) Adoption-he basically said, favors younger couples, probably wont get a caucasian child.Well the adoption option both my Dh and I have decided not to do
So these are our options and of course folks where is the money coming from?Are my in-laws going to help us out again? We basically told the doctor we would have to talk about this and would come back in April
Can someone tell me anything positive?Im so torn. My DH wants to go for IVF 3. Then if ivf 3 doesnt work, get an egg donor, if I dont get pregnant after egg donation, the quest for a child will end.My hubby says his parents will pay for both attempts, I just feel awful, I really dont like this situation.Thoughts, Facts would help
First of all, I am so sorry that your IVF didn't work out. I hope you and the husband allow yourself a little breathing time to just "be" and know what you BOTH want before going for it (or not) again. It's always hard to decide...
Three was always the magic # in my head for IVFs as well. We did 3. The first two didn't produce any babies. With the last one, the doctor retrieved my follicles but there were NO viable eggs left, so he couldn't even create any embryos to transfer back into me. Right after it happened, I wanted to try a 4th IVF cycle but after thinking about it, I didn't want to endless IVFs. The shots/drugs made me a crying witch on wheels--I was soooooooo hormonal and sad most of the time! I think I posted somewhere that we got pregnant on our own a month after we stopped all the treatments. (I miscarried in my second trimester, though...)
However, I have a friend who got pregnant on her second IVF cycle. Another got pregnant on her 4th. So I think it's really something you two have to decide. It's wonderful that your inlaws are willing to foot the bills for this. That's so generous of them. But don't do it just 'cause they're willing to pay for it. If it's something YOU BOTH feel strongly about, GO FOR IT! And try to do a little BDing just for fun, too. Heck, you never know what might work out!!! :-)
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
Hugs hugs hugs.