I need some friends' support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
I need some friends' support!
19
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:29pm
Well, our last attempt at IVF failed. Got the big negative on the pg test. We've done 6 total in the past 6 years. One worked but mc'd after a few weeks. I am 40 now and wonder what I should do now. Funny, my RE said to come in for a meeting to discuss next "options", but after 6 IVF's who has the money for the "other options"? Adoption and egg donation are so much more expensive. We were lucky that our insurance paid for 1/2 of the IVF at least. I could always keep going knowing that we had other attempts to try. How do people live with the fact that they are childless by a choice not their own? I have never been unable to do anything I wanted with hard work and perseverance....Am I crazy to think it still might "happen" naturally at my age and after so many failures? I feel like I need something to keep me going or figure out how to deal with not being able to get pregnant.....thanks for any help you can give me!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 2:05am

Dear Jlmojo:

I don't even know what to say to you for comforting words. I am so sorry that the IVF failed. I do know that I am going to be 46 in a couple of weeks, so I have abut 6 years on you, and I am still keeping faith that something might be able to happen. I read and read about the stats, and spend way too much time online at other message boards, ones that really paind a "doom and gloom" outlook, and I just feel bad. But I come in to this message board, and I think here there is a more realistic feel to it. I mean..there are the successes as well as the failures, and also we do see different results when we least expect them. So...I think you should keep a positive outlook and just keep trying naturally. You know, many, many women 40 and over are giving birth! Have you tried to see what herbal supplements you could take to improve chances? I am taking all sorts of supplements...no success yet, but it makes me at least feel empowered that I am trying something. I am thinking that after all you've been through, you've already done this, but if you haven't thought of it, or would like to get some ideas of vitamins and herbs to try, let me know. I also hope that your husband is right there with you, so that you are supporting one another during your disappointment. You know that the stress of things can't be good, so try to put that stress aside, and see what comes naturally. Blessings to you, and I will certainly keep you in my prayers.

mermaidoftheloch

Avatar for sk8termum
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 11:24am

Hi, I'm new here. I'd be interested in knowing about the supplements you're taking. I've tried various things myself. Right now I'm taking 4 g. l-arginine, 200 mg. CO-Q10, 5 g. folic acid, in addition to a good quality prenatal vitamin and B-complex. I was taking Vitex, but stopped now and I'm going to take it again only on cd 3-7 as someone else on this board mentioned. I've also been taking red raspberry until ovulation. I've gotten pg 4 times since July '05, but 2 were chemical pg's and 2 were m/c. I'm 44, so I do worry about my clock ticking, even though I have no signs of menopause approaching and all my lab tests have been normal.

Désirée, mom to Steven, Juliana, Andrew, Carina, Michaela, and Daniel, ages 4-19 and all homebirthed

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 12:55pm
Thank you so much for your thoughts....I have actually considered the supplements and ordered Ovulex since I had seen so much about it on these boards. I feel the same way you do, as long as I can keep trying something I will....my husband is wonderfully supportive...I am so lucky to have such a great guy. Good luck to you too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 12:58pm
Well since we just got through the IVF I was only taking the prenatal vitamins. I read about Ovulex and thought I would give that a try. I was even doing acupuncture for the last six months prior to the IVF which I believed helped me all over. My diagnosis is "unexplained" and our eggs fertilize on their own (although we never retrieve that many), I wish I knew if it was my egg quality or a problem carrying...thanks for your input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 6:33pm

It is a very stressfull, and difficult process to go through. I won't even try the IVF route, I know it's a bigger roller coaster then I want to ride. This cycle is going to be a totally natural one for me.

Best luck to you. I'm so sorry to hear this most recent IVF failed.

Lee

Lee

 

IMG_4253.jpg image by bobandlee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 3:20am

Dear Sk8termum:

Are you British? I ask because of the "mum" part! My husband is British, so we have family on both sides of the Atlantic. I am glad your results are all normal. Wish I could say the same. I am 45 (but will be 46 in a couple of weeks) and MOST of my results have been normal. No signs of menopause yet, and good E2 and good thyroid, but FSH was 15.5, so that's very bad. You sound like you are taking very good supplements, and have done some research. I am taking Wheatgrass to lower my FSH, and then I am taking CoQ10 to improve quality of my eggs, and B6, red reaspberry leaf pills, and raspberry leaf tea, and a vitamin called Fertility Blend with Vitex,folic acid, and am using a natural progesterone cream from OV-AF. Not sure if any of it works! But I do feel like I am trying to do something, as opposed to just relying on the medical doctors. Other things I have heard of for fertility in general, but I have not tried yet, include False Unicorn and Maca Root. Best of luck to you on your journey.

mermaidoftheloch

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 11:18pm
Thanks...it is stressful and there is nothing worse than going through all of it only to get a big negative....I am going to try the Ovulex route and godwilling if it was meant to be I may give myself another year....good luck to you!!! I wish we could all gather one day to tell our success stories!
Avatar for sk8termum
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 1:28am

I was born in Australia, although I've lived in the states most of my life. DD and I ice skate, so that's where the sk8ter is from. In addition to the other things I mentioned before, I'm also on progesterone suppositories. I was taking pycnogenol, until I ran out a couple weeks ago and haven't gotten to Trader Joe's to buy more. It's also supposed to improve egg quality. I've been debating whether to start up acupuncture treatments again. I just wish insurance would cover more of the cost. I also wonder if any of this stuff does any good. If I never get pg, I guess I would say it didn't help. If I do, you never know if it was going to happen anyway. But overall, I think it makes me feel better if I'm trying to do something about this. I'm pretty certain af will start tomorrow and I'm not pg this month, so I decided to start an herbal cleansing for 2 weeks - hoping to detox my body some. I'm also trying now to eat only poultry and meat with no antibiotics, hormones, etc. I felt like my chances were so good this month and I was really thinking I was pg. So, today I feel really depressed. It's beginning to seem like this may never happen. I'm not giving up, but this is getting really difficult not getting pg month after month.

Désirée, mom to Steven, Juliana, Andrew, Carina, Michaela, and Daniel, ages 4-19 and all homebirthed

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 5:32pm

How about some positive success stories? Links in my signature

~*~ Catherine

Stories of Pregnancy & Birth over 44y
- Daily blog of hope & inspiration!
http://pregnancyover44y.blogspot.com/

3,015 Stories of Pregnancy & Birth over 44 years old
- all the stories & divided by age
http://www.tonguewag.com/journals/catherine6067

You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's
- Sharing articles, discussing options & suggestions.
http://youcangetpregnant.blogspot.com




Edited 11/16/2006 5:43 pm ET by witch_power



~*~ Catherine, mom to three grown men - Jason, Michael & Joshua and Granma to Christopher & Leia.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 12:02pm
Lots of women get pregnant after age 40. Have you tried acupuncture and Chinese medicine?

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