its over for me

THANK YOU to all who supported me through this process and provided such encouraging information and offers of hope. HUGS and god bless to all of you. I don't know what I would do without this place. I spent the past 2 days crying my heart out and I went to my mother for comfort. She took care of me, physically and emotionally, and with the sound advice of my mother and stepfather, I decided to get a second opinion from a very good RE in NYC. I have requested a copy of my medical records and they are being transferred to me within the next few days. Once I receive a copy of my records with my most recent lab work, I plan to fax it ASAP to the RE's office in NYC for a second opinion. At first it will be a telephone consult since I live in a different state, and if the doctor feels there is still hope despite the FSH level, I will fly to NY for a live appointment. I have spoken with the RE's secretary in NYC and she gave me a dose of hope and inspiration by telling me that many women pass through their clinic with high FSH and go on to IVF anyway. She also told me that most likely, the doctor will want to repeat the day 3 labs and do a day three ultrasound again. If this is the case, I will be on the next plane to NYC. It bothers me enormously that the Yale educated doctor at the clinic here where I live, who has a fantastic reputation, did not even suggest we investigate further why my FSH jumped so quickly, or even suggest we try to repeat the blood test next month. All he did was cancel me out of the IVF cycle and suggest I use donor eggs or consider adoption. He said that even if the FSH comes down next month, they still have to use the highest number, because the highest number is always accurate, especially when it coordinates with the estrogen levels, which mine apparently did. In other words, when one number is high, the other number is low, and vice versa. So, basically, they are saying there is no doubt that my eggs have declined in quality and quanitity based on my FSH level of 18, and even a lower number at a future testing does not cancel out the higher number. I did my own reasearch and this appears to be validated- once the FSH shoots up, it may come down again and continue to fluctuate, by a woman's FSH is only as good as the highest number. Has anyone heard something to the contrary? I would love to believe this is NOT true. I have 11 follicles total- 6 on one side, and 5 on the other. Does anyone know if this is a good number or a poor number? My RE told me that despite the number of follicles I have, the FSH still indicates poor egg quality and very low chance of the egg developing into a baby. Further, he told me that now with an FSH of 18, my chance of a healthy pregnancy through IVF is no greater than my statistical chance of getting pregnant on my own- somewhere around 5% per cycle, so why