IVF Cancelled--I'm very sad (long)

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Registered: 07-12-2003
IVF Cancelled--I'm very sad (long)
3
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:35pm

I haven't posted in a long time, so I guess you could consider me a "new kid on the block." I've been seeing my RE since the summer to ttc. I have dd, age 7, and I'm 42 (43 in April) and dh is 43.

I miscarried in 1996, then she was born in Jan., 1998. I then miscarried again in 2002. The hardest part about it was that I thought everything was fine until I went for my 12 week appointment and they didn't hear a heartbeat. I had no indication that there was anything wrong. We had already told our dd that she was going to be a big sister and she was thrilled.

We started trying again this summer. Initially I was supposed to have IUI, but dh couldn't do "what he had to do" at the dr.'s office and got so frustrated that even with Viagra couldn't even do anything at home. Then we were told by RE DH has low sperm count. We didn't realize that he had to be tested again, initially and had forgotten that he was diagnosed with low sperm count after our first miscarriage. Then dd was conceived and never thought about it again until the troubles this time.

RE recommended IVF instead due to the low sperm count. I'd been steadily increasing dosages of Gonal F and Repronex (started at 375 and then 425) and steadily did am and pm shots of Lupron (20 units). At 375 my blood level was 20 and at 425 it was actually lower, at 19.

RE felt we should try one more time up to 675. Stupidly I didn't check quantity of medications ahead of tiime and and realized somewhere around 8:30 pm that I didn't have enough Gonal F and Repronex. So this cycle is now shot.

I asked RE on duty the next day why my levels might have been so low and her response was "I don't know!" Comforting, huh?! She said 19 is actually below menopause.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? I'd like to try one more time at 675 but I think they're going to advise me against it.

Could I have done something wrong? Maybe I should have given up coffee completely(1 cup a day and sometimes a soda at lunch) rather than tapering off slowly? Could it have been my thyroid? Endocronologist uped dosaage to .150 from .125 in preparation for pregancy.
Could I have done the injections wrong? As far as I can tell, they were all supposed to be subcutaneous(sp?). I followed their instructions and pulled back to 425 instead of 375. I can't imagine I got it wrong? Maybe I should have injected into my abdomen instead of my thigh?

I just don't know and DD just cried again for the umpteenth time that she's the only one she knows that is an only child. She's very sad that the "baby" in my tummy stopped growing and I don't want to believe that I'll never be able to give her a sibling. I'm so depressed and ANGRY.

I want to talk to my RE again but I don't really even know what questions to ask at this point. I just read about anit-ovarian antibodies, could this be the problem, or is it just age at this point? I'll never forgive myself for not pushing to have a second baby sooner (I was 35 when DD was born).

What do you all think or suggest? Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 5:46pm
I feel terrible that it has been over two weeks and no one has responded to your post. I didn't initially respond because I'm not that well versed on IVF. I know just about everything there is to know about IUI though! Unfortunately, I don't have any answers to your questions but I wanted you to know I feel for you and hope that your RE can give you some good answers some time soon.
Michele
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Registered: 07-12-2003
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 4:13pm

Michelle,

Thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate it! I posted on the IVF board as well and have gotten a lot of good advise from the women over there and the CL also suggested that I go on the secondary infertility board which has been helpful as well.

I'm still trying to decide whether to continue with a different protocol or not. It's such a huge decision.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond to my note, you are very kind and I truly appeciate your sensitivity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 1:21am
Hi
I just read your post (I usually post over on the In Vitro Fert board now that I've started IVF). I'm so sorry about your IVF being cancelled, I understand what you're going thru. It's tough enough to be dealing with infertility but to also have things not go well - it's really frustrating and heartbreaking. This cycle I was also cancelled, I had very poor response to the meds. My Re's office had me on the highest dose they prescribe - 300 IU Gonal F/300 IU Repronex in am; 375 IU Gonal F/375 IU Repronex in pm. My estradiol levels never got above 440 and I ended up with 2 barely mature follicles. My RE requires 4 mature follies to do IVF so we ended up doing 2 IUI's instead. I'm in 2ww but DH and I are having a consult tomorrow with RE. We're going to discuss possible different protocols. I've heard different meds may help.
You mentioned being on Lupron, my RE never had me on it but I thought it helped suppress things. Have you asked your RE if that may have oversuppressed you?
I don't know much about thyroid levels so I can't help with that or with the anti-ovarian antibodies. I gave up coffee a year ago, gradually weaned off of it, since I read that it can affect fertility. I have a hot chocolate if I ever need a little boost (has a bit of caffeine). As far as the subq injections, I rotate mine between thigh and abdomen/rt and lt. And as long as you use the correct syringe/needles and correct injection areas, I don't think there's a wrong way to do a subq.
My condolences on your m/c's, that must be so heartbreaking to go thru. You are able to get pregnant, so maybe your RE just needs to figure out a protocol for you to stay pregnant. Do you take baby aspirin? My RE says that some women have microclots in their lining capillaries(?) and that may affect staying pregnant.
Good luck to you, take care,
~Ann


Edited 2/4/2005 10:31 pm ET ET by jnanb