IVF Cancelled--I'm very sad (long)
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|Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:35pm|
I haven't posted in a long time, so I guess you could consider me a "new kid on the block." I've been seeing my RE since the summer to ttc. I have dd, age 7, and I'm 42 (43 in April) and dh is 43.
I miscarried in 1996, then she was born in Jan., 1998. I then miscarried again in 2002. The hardest part about it was that I thought everything was fine until I went for my 12 week appointment and they didn't hear a heartbeat. I had no indication that there was anything wrong. We had already told our dd that she was going to be a big sister and she was thrilled.
We started trying again this summer. Initially I was supposed to have IUI, but dh couldn't do "what he had to do" at the dr.'s office and got so frustrated that even with Viagra couldn't even do anything at home. Then we were told by RE DH has low sperm count. We didn't realize that he had to be tested again, initially and had forgotten that he was diagnosed with low sperm count after our first miscarriage. Then dd was conceived and never thought about it again until the troubles this time.
RE recommended IVF instead due to the low sperm count. I'd been steadily increasing dosages of Gonal F and Repronex (started at 375 and then 425) and steadily did am and pm shots of Lupron (20 units). At 375 my blood level was 20 and at 425 it was actually lower, at 19.
RE felt we should try one more time up to 675. Stupidly I didn't check quantity of medications ahead of tiime and and realized somewhere around 8:30 pm that I didn't have enough Gonal F and Repronex. So this cycle is now shot.
I asked RE on duty the next day why my levels might have been so low and her response was "I don't know!" Comforting, huh?! She said 19 is actually below menopause.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? I'd like to try one more time at 675 but I think they're going to advise me against it.
Could I have done something wrong? Maybe I should have given up coffee completely(1 cup a day and sometimes a soda at lunch) rather than tapering off slowly? Could it have been my thyroid? Endocronologist uped dosaage to .150 from .125 in preparation for pregancy.
Could I have done the injections wrong? As far as I can tell, they were all supposed to be subcutaneous(sp?). I followed their instructions and pulled back to 425 instead of 375. I can't imagine I got it wrong? Maybe I should have injected into my abdomen instead of my thigh?
I just don't know and DD just cried again for the umpteenth time that she's the only one she knows that is an only child. She's very sad that the "baby" in my tummy stopped growing and I don't want to believe that I'll never be able to give her a sibling. I'm so depressed and ANGRY.
I want to talk to my RE again but I don't really even know what questions to ask at this point. I just read about anit-ovarian antibodies, could this be the problem, or is it just age at this point? I'll never forgive myself for not pushing to have a second baby sooner (I was 35 when DD was born).
What do you all think or suggest? Thanks!