Joining the group!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2007
Joining the group!
7
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 4:46pm

Hi,

I just turned 41 and my DH and I are so blessed to have a 3year old son. We have been ttc for a couple of years now. I had one miscarriage at 10 weeks when my son was 15 months old. I have regular (32 day) cycle and am sure I am ov. I usually have ov pain which switches from side to side each month anytime after the 14 day. I charted my cycles about a year ago and everything seemed pretty standard...except maybe a long luteal phase (16 days or so). Anyway....every month we do our best to conceive and then every month I have a period. I am grateful that it is regular...just wish one of these times it would be delayed for a pregnancy :) I saw my doc and she is great...and told me to stop charting and stressing and just have baby making sex about every other day...which is easier said then done. She hasn't recommended any tests...and said for me to try until Sept..and then if nothing we would try clomid. She is really positive and laid back about the whole thing...and I feel like maybe I should be more aggressive on it. We have been trying for so long and I think I am a bit militant about sex(making it less fun for my DH) during the time that seems to be ov time. My husband is also laid back about it and just wants to let it happen when it happens and is ok with other options (IVF and adoption)...which is very supportive and all but I just hear the clock ticking and feel a bit stuck and focused on aging (which I really hope to do so just as gracefully as I can). So...I just wanted to join the group so I could talk to others who may understand and not be thoroughly annoyed by my need to talk and get reassured that I am not to old to conceive and deliver a healthy baby. Thank you for being so open with your lives...I have been reading for awhile now...but too shy to join in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 8:35pm

Hi!


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:42pm

Stella,

My OB and RE never prescribed clomid for me. I know women who've taken it (and went on to have kids)... but what exactly does it do and what is it used for? Basically, I have regular cycles and ovulate and am healthy and don't have fibroids or any health ailments... Is it for women who don't ovulate?

Thanks in advance!

Lois

  

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:46pm

Leslee,

Welcome! I tried charting and it wasn't fun for me, so I just stick with OPKs when DH and I are trying to conceive. I think it's great that your DH is open to IVF and adopting, but I did want to point out that IVF and IUI is not a cure all, especially for older women. I tried for two years from 42 to 44 with medical intervention and was unable to get pregnant. My RE told me that at my age, I had a 5% chance of conceiving even via in vitro etc. (I did get pregnant 3 times on our own, "naturally" as they say, but none of them lasted.) Would your DH be open to donor eggs in the future? Older women have a better success rate using young women's eggs...

Anyhow! Welcome!

Lois

  

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:19pm

It is an ovulation induction drug which would seem to indicate that it would only be useful for someone who doesn't O.


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:54am

Hi.

My name Leslie... I just use leslee since it is often not avail choice.

Yes....I feel confused about my docs approach. I thought there should be some tests done to see if anything was not norm. I do know that my cycle is like a hormone domino effect....I believe it starts right down to my attitude when I first get my period. Anyway. About clomid...I don't believe in throwing some random drug to appease me or meet the end result in a haphazard medicated way. I am worried about having triplets or something like that....I hope I don't have fibroids or something that the drug would aggravate. I have wondered if I had sufficient lining....my periods have never been heavy...and then there is the wonder if I have sufficient baby making mucus :/ (seems so silly to write this down...) So...basically I am a bit confused. I have never been told that I could not get pregnant or been given the scary low percentages to put doom on the whole issue. And even though we are open to other options...I don't think we will even look into those until I decide that is the road to take.

A few months ago I made an appt with my doc just to talk and bring up my concerns...but again she just was very casual about it all and said basically keep trying! She didn't seem at all concerned with cysts, ov, lining, l.phase, etc...I did tell her I don't feel 40 and she said..."well your ovaries are"...:) I want to call her again but worry about being a bit obsessive...where do you draw the line on being proactive in getting the medical care you want verse having faith in their knowledge about the whole thing. I am very skeptical about docs overall. I usually diagnose myself and then ask them for the stuff I can't get done alone.

I feel that I am very optimistic about conceiving...almost to worrying if I should be more realistic. My plan of action is to try the OPK this cycle...sounds interesting...and then hopefully have great sex and then we will see come July. Then I could try again from July to Aug...and if that doesn't work...go knocking on my doc's door for more help.

What do you think? Should I wait the Summer out? What tests should I ask to be done? Seeming that my cycle seems to be working (except the possible mid cycle lining)?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 1:35pm

Stella, thanks for the clomid info. Leslie, welcome!

I personally don't feel bad about calling my doctor's office to verify something that sounds weird 'cause hey, I (or the insurnance company--and DH and I pay them a lot!) am paying them for this service. Leslie, the fact of the matter is that at 40, women have a more dificult time getting pregnant than when we were younger. It makes sense 'cause it's just generally harder to do anything at 40 than at 20! I've been trying to get pregnant since I was 41 and have had nothing but miscarriages. I have no idea if this would've been the case if I started trying at 31 instead...maybe, but most likely not. We don't have all the time in the world...BUT...we also shouldn't be in a state of panic all the time (HA! I'm such a liar! I usually AM panicked!) because there's only so much we can do to push nature along.

I say do your research and if it conflicts with what your doctor tells you, call them on it and make them explain themselves. Also, figure out in your head what you want to do...DH and I knew that we would do 3 IVFs and no more. He actually wanted to stop after the second one because the disappointment was really hard on me each time...but we did the full 3 rounds. It didn't work for us. (Although a friend, who's 5 years younger than me -- I'm 45 -- has gotten pregnant twice using the same RE as I did).

We have set this year as our limit for TTC. Next year, I will turn 46. I really don't want to be doing this all my life...it takes a toll on women (and their spouses!). So, if it doesn't work out, it will be sad, but it won't be for lack of trying!! It doesn't mean we'll stop having sex, of course, but the sex won't be timed to what the OPK and my CM say! LOL! I will say that I am looking forward to NOT knowing when I'm ovulating. :-)

xxoo
Lois

  

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 6:41pm

Hi Leslie:

So glad you are posting on this board!! Welcome, you will find some remarkable women here with lots of experience and support.

I'm 40, been married 10 yrs, no children by choice. Now DH(dear husband) and I want a baby. He tends to be on the conservative side so doesn't think we should get our hopes up, given our advanced age?? I still feel very young, we so were not ready to have kids in our 20's or 30's.

Anyway, since you have been trying for quite a while, I wouldn't wait the summer before asking for some testing. The other women here would know better what to ask for but I think one would be for clotting issues and fibroids. And maybe have your thyroid tested, I think that can sometimes cause issues?? Just tell them you want to be tested for the things you know could be a problem and anything else they can think of. No harm in a little testing.

Take Care and Welcome, Julie