Just starting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Just starting
9
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 3:04pm

After coming to believe that I would always be alone, I found myself getting married this year! Now, we are TTC, also after years of thinking I had missed my chance. I am almost 42. We are only in our second month of trying, so I know it's supposed to be too early to stress over it, but I AM stressing. Can I even conceive? Will I carry to term? Will it have Downs'? Will I be too exhausted to handle it at all?

I can't help but think that God would not have given me this chance, along with such a wonderful DH, just to dangle motherhood just out of my reach. But I am so scared anyway. DH doesn't quite get it. He is trying to help me not get my hopes up too much, but it's far too late for that. I am now waiting 10 days to see if it worked this month, and if it doesn't,it will be more of a disappointment than last month.

My OB wants to start fertility testing if I don't conceive in three months, because of my age. While I am glad she wants to move quickly, it worries me even more that I am getting too old to have a first child.

Basically, my problem now is patience. I have none. I am having such trouble waiting each cycle, fearing the worst, afraid to hope for the best. How do you deal with this, much less for years on end?

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
In reply to: nkb2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 3:26pm

I just started 3 cycles ago. Same situation - married in January at 41.5 years old! This chat room has been encouraging as there are a lot of success stories. I've also learned a lot from the other women. I'm also in the 2ww right now - which is the part I find the most frustrating of all! Like you, I expected to conceive the first month and when it didn't even happen the second one I started to stress out big time. Now I'm trying to keep my sense of humor and sanity. I decided that since true love took its own sweet time, the baby will probably do the same (besides it takes the average couple 6 months or more to conceive, so realistically we shouldn't start with major stress until at least 6 mos!). That said I am ready to help fate along after 3 cycles and will see my OB next week. I'm hoping that she'll be confirming my BFP instead! ;) Anyway, hang in there and let us know how it is going.

Sky

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: nkb2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 4:42pm

Kim,


Big hugs to you! And welcome.

Emily (Ada's maman since 3/14/04)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
In reply to: nkb2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 5:00pm

So, what is the 'old-fashioned' way exactly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: nkb2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:33pm

Welcome, Kim.


Worrying is just a big waste of time & energy.


stellasiggy.jpg picture by estellaberg

Avatar for mom2texastwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: nkb2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:42pm

Kim,

Congratulations on your marriage! I so understand your fears and loved how you phrased, "God would not have given me this chance, along with such a wonderful DH, just to dangle motherhood just out of my reach".

I went through IF in my 20's, then adopted at 30 and then again 35. So, I have my blessings already, but after I thought that chapter was closed I remarried and got pregnant naturally, only to miscarry.

My best BTDT advise is to be aggressive. Know what you want and if your RE isn't up to speed, find one that is.

Blessings,
~K~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2004
In reply to: nkb2007
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 7:27am

It is just so frustrating... we spent the first half of our lives scared to get pregnant, now that we make the decision, our bodies won't cooperate!

I'm 41.5, DH is 45 and we have a 2.5 year old son. But I do want another one and I can't believe it's so hard. I also have a history of m/c's (4) so even that elusive BFP isn't so exciting...

Good luck and baby dust to you.

Lydia

fall2009sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: nkb2007
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 3:28pm
As a lesbian, for me the old-fashioned wwass having intercourse with the donor, who was a friend.

Emily (Ada's maman since 3/14/04)




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Emily (Ada's maman since 3/14/04)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
In reply to: nkb2007
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 12:09pm
Ooooohhhh. Well, that's good news since that is the way we are 'doing it.' I'm hoping that we can do this the 'natural way' as well. Though I may already be spoiling that since I've started with the Robitusson and progesteron cream (hey, whatever works - next month I'm already planning to add pre-seed). But we'll see after my appointment later this month. Some say to be very aggressive at this age. I'm inclined to wait 6 months or so before pulling out the big guns but at least want to get tested and prepare for the next 'phase'. I'm assuming it takes a cycle or two for the testing to occur?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: nkb2007
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 3:40pm
I think one cycle is all it takes, for the basic testing.

Emily (Ada's maman since 3/14/04)