Lurker coming out

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Lurker coming out
5
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:09pm

Hi! I'm Laura (39.5) and dh (41). We have 4 children. Gavin is 2 1/2 and then we have 1 yr old triplets, Anna, Liam and Owen. We had Gavin naturally, although my husband did have vericocele surgery 3 months before. We got pregnant 3 months after Gavin was born, but miscarried at 6 weeks. We tried naturally for 6 months and then did 3 IUIs, which failed. We then did ivf and implanted 2 good ones and 2 duds (doc's words) I was pregnant with 4 until 11 weeks when ones miscarried (I hate the use of vanished. I think it diminishes the baby's passing).

When I was pregnant with the triplets I said I never wanted to be pregnant again. It was a rough pregnancy. At 21 weeks, I was told to abort the pregnancy, because I'd never have living babies. I was contracting and was 99% effaced. I was on all the drugs possible and even double the normal dose of one (indomethacin) to keep me pregnant. Well, I delivered at 34w and my trips are now a year and completely healthy. So...the second after they were born I wanted another. I cannot say that my husband does.

Well, the day before the trips birthday, I found out I was pregnant. My husband was initially pissed. He came around...he was shocked. We thought he wouldn't be able to get me pregnant. Plus, we only had sex once the previous month. Well...I miscarried a week later. Unfortunately the miscarriage wasn't too surprising...very disappointing and heartbreaking.

I know I should be happy with the 4 little ones I have. I love them with all my heart, but I feel an overwhelming desire for another. I also want to have a "normal" pregnancy...get to enjoy it and lavish one newborn with hugs and kisses.

So...should I wait to try until the trips are 2 or not chance it and start trying now?

Thank you for allowing me to read about your journeys, although they are way too many Susan, Susies, etc!!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2010
In reply to: opuhub
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:41pm
Oh my goodness - how do you manage 4 children under 3 years old?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2009
In reply to: opuhub
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 3:46pm
sounds like you should talk with your husband.... congrats on the triplets! - martha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: opuhub
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 3:24pm

Thanks! I'm not a patient person either. I was doing ok, just enjoying the kids I have. Then when I found out I was pregnant and then miscarried. I feel myself getting completely preoccupied with having the fifth. I really thought that since wd got pregnant on our own that I'd actually have the baby. Now, I'm terrified that I'll just keep get g pregnant and miscarry again and again. I know my husband will never agree to fertility help...I'll be lucky if he agrees to actively try rather then not prevent. I've just been so sad (when my kids are sleeping...otherwise their faces make me smile!)

I wish you the best of luck...oh! I've read awhile ago that clomid isn't necessarily goo to take when you get older. So you might want to look into other fertility drugs first.

All the best,
Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: opuhub
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 7:06pm

Laura, welcome to the board!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
In reply to: opuhub
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 2:01pm

Welcome to the board! So sorry about your loss, that is hard. Is your DH more accepting of having another one now? Sometimes that happens after a loss, but not always. I would start by trying to get him on board with you.

Beyond that, I would say to try sooner than later. Your fertility is often much better when it is closer to another pregnancy, plus things can change very quickly anytime after 40. While that may affect the miscarriage rate a little bit, I think the biggest challenge is in achieving conception in the first place.

I hope you are able to work things out with your DH, keep us posted on how things are going.

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious