Need advice - brand spankin' new

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Need advice - brand spankin' new
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 5:57pm
Hi all,
I feel really blessed that I have found this board. Here is my story so far and would love advice.
I just turned 45. After years of discussion my spouse and I are discussing having children-something I deeply want. The Gynecologist referred me to a RE here in New York City. They are doing all the tests and so far I look like I am in pretty good shape. Nevertheless, they only thing 3 cycles of IUI and going on to Donor Egg.
Now my spouse is getting scared all over again. He keeps saying we need more time, and on the other hand the Doc says in the next several months my last possibility of getting pregnant with own eggs is very very limited.
Its very depressing. He says he doesn't "want to be the bad guy" and I understand, especially with shaky economy that starting off our family is scary but, hey, I am not getting any younger.
Any way, I just wanted say I am so glad I have found this place. I have several friends who are in their 40's and have completed their families and they say things like "Well, I can't IMAGINE starting a family at our age, we are just too old" or they will say "you body doesn't respond to pregnancy the same as in the 20's-it's as if they have forgotten to whom they are speaking to, someone who would do anything to have the blessing of have a child at all in their life. And it really hurts. So I don't have alot of people I can share with.
I have 2 questions:
1. I am in New York City-can anyone share their opinions of the Fertility Clinics on this coast? Who they would recommend and why?
2. And secondly, we are looking into Donor Egg. We have had alot of women pointing us to Argentina. Great
success rates etc. Wondering if any of you all know about the experiences there.
I want to thank you all in advance for your reading this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 7:43pm

Hi, I am on the west coast so I can't help with your Q about NY, although Brenda one of our regulars is in NYC, maybe she will respond and know something in that dept.

I just wanted to post that you are in the right place, and to do what makes YOU happy, ignore all the outside voices (you know the saying "everybody's a critic").

 BabyFruit Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 7:49pm

Hi sarahb1600!

Welcome to the board! I think everyone here feels the same way about finding this board. It is a wonderful source of information and support.

I am Brenda 42 years old and am currently pregnant from a natural conception. However, I wanted to be proactive so I went for a consultation with Dr. Tortoriello at Sher Institute (first link below). I had an HSG as part of my work up and got a BFP that cycle. That was a fluke but my point is I do recommend him and that office. The second link is for Dr. Licciardi who was also recommended to me by a friend but I didn't go there because they didn't accept my insurance.

I agree that at 45 you do not have time to waste. The economy will ebb and flow but your time will never come back. I bet your dh is just having last minute jitters. You do have a chance and I wish you much luck.

PhotobucketLilypie Expecting a baby Ticker


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 8:29pm


I just wanted to let you know that an article about egg donors is in this months MORE magazine (Dec) It's about a woman who used donor eggs and then started her own successful egg donor company. HTH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2006
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 9:14pm
If you want a child and you are 45 years old, do not waste any time. It is a financial responsiblity to raise a child, but you can also do it on a budget. Your child doesn't know if you have a crib from Walmart or Pottery Barn, or if he's wearing a hand-me-down sleeper or a brand-spanking new one. All he or she will want is love! I say, don't hestitate, and take the plunge as quickly as possible, with your H on your side, of course. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:18am

Hi Sarah:

I'm Gabrielle (39) and second what the pp said. I'm trying naturally when DH gets back from Iraq. My numbers aren't horrible but they aren't fabulous (FSH holding at 10 and under). DRs have mentioned DE to me as well and when I looked at the cost, I was absolutely flabbergasted.

However, my RE also suggested asking relatives and/or younger friends to be DE candidates.(In my case, I had 2 volunteers).

Franklin and Callan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:46am

Hi Sarah, Welcome and I wish you the best. I am 41 and just completed my 1st round of IVF with my own eggs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 10:32am

Welcome, Sarah! I too am a late bloomer when it comes to TTC -- married almost 11 years (and age 39) before I decided I really, really wanted a child. I'll be 41 in Feb. DH is still ambivalent but willing to go along.

I'm also in NYC (Queens, but that still counts!). I have an appointment with fertility specialist Dr. Peter Chang at Beth Israel on Monday -- will let you know how that goes.

Please keep us posted on what you're up to!

Susan CB

Susan CB

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 5:30pm
Thank you so much for the great tips on the clinics. I feel so much better already!!!! and Congratulations!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2005
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 9:43pm

Welcome to the board, Sarah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sat, 11-22-2008 - 9:35pm
Sarah, welcome to the board!