Need advice on TTC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Need advice on TTC
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 12:29am

HI everyone,

OK here is the deal, I just had a baby last January, and of course being over 40 and not planning it, it was a shock.. But he is a totally awesome child and having him woke up this need to have just one more baby... so when he was 6 mo old I stopped breast feeding and waited for my period, got it and then we started doing the bd.. so here I am now in November and not pregnant.. this next child would be my sixth.. never had any trouble getting preggers when I wasnt planning it.. but anyway.. thats not the real issue....

The issue is, im having some second thoughts.. part of me wants another, and another part doesnt, I have recently decided to go back to school and another baby would def make that harder, not impossible but harder...

Why cant things be cut and dry... simple...

So i am not asking if I should continue trying but advice on if these feelings are normal?
and if you think these feelings are coming on because I am trying to return to school?


baby development

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 8:46am

Hi Dyan,

I can only say you really have to follow your heart.



Susan V

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 9:04am

I can relate to you on this topic. I have 7 children. Three after a TLR. I've had two m/c in the past year both over 13 wks. I was not trying for either PG. I "thought" I had placed my fertility in the Lord's hands. I didn't care either way if I had another baby. I was enjoying things. I was at total peace in my heart...or so I thought. But now after my last m/c I have felt such a strong desire again for another child. I can't stand the thought of some day not having a child to cuddle and care for. I have been a mom since I was 17 yrs old. I LOVE this job!! But yet I am afraid of another m/c like the last two. They were painful,scary and emotionally hard. And I am very sick with m/s for up to 20 wks. while PG.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 10:05am

Hi Dyan! Welcome to the board!!

Not sure how to answer except follow your heart! Having babies impacts yourself,DH,siblings and the entire family structure. If your going back to school and have a support network to help with babysitting etc....your financially stable and have the resources to cope with both at the sametime and you want it go for it! If your having second thoughts,well then take some time think it though and do what is best for your whole family.

GL and KUP what ever you decide!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 7:50pm


I think these feelings are completely normal. We all second guess ourselves, and it is a HUGE decision to have another child. It will affect your life and your education and career path. Doubt allows us to think about things more... and that is never a bad thing.

It could be that having another baby is the correct path for you. Take some time to be sure it is so. It also could be that your desire to go back to school is an internal sign that you are moving on to another chapter in your life.

Hard to say what you should do, the only one qualified to decide that is you (perhaps with input from DH).

I love seeing your little guy as he is growing up. What a sweet baby! I can totally see why you'd be tempted to have another!!!