New to the board - TTC at 41 (almost 42)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
New to the board - TTC at 41 (almost 42)
34
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 8:45am
Hi,
I am new to this board and all boards actually. Have read many, but never posted until now. I'll be 42 next month and DH and I are hoping to have a baby. He has a DS (18)from a previous marriage (does not live with us) and I have a DD (13), also, from a previous marriage. Now, we would like to have one more to "complete" our family. Everyone thinks I am nuts for even considering it "at my age", but I want this more than I can remember ever wanting anything - whether it is "instinct/nature", I'm not sure. I'm in good shape and have very regular cycles. The only big (and I mean huge) problem is that my husband just got activated and he is now stationed three states away. We only see each other once a month and timing that visit (which has to be on a weekend for my DD to be out of school) is, obviously, going to be quite the challenge and probably very frustrating.
Anyone out there in somewhat of a similar situation who would like to share the trials and tribulations along the way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2006
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 6:04pm

Hi,
I am also new here. 41 and TTC #2. DS is 7. I don't think we are too old at all. I mean, at this age we have our stuff together!! Plus, we have experience from the first one.

We tried about 3 yrs ago with no luck bc of a similar situation to yours. I worked out of town alot and never seemed to be home at the right time. You will just have to make it work! I am sure if you put your mind to it, the timing will all work itself out. Not sure about your work situation or anything, but maybe you could make a quick overnight without DD ( she could stay with friends or family). You could still take a regular weekend trip so that DD gets to see DH. If not, maybe you will be blessed with weekend O.

Either way, I know how it is! Good luck and happy BD!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 7:57pm
I agree, I don't think we are too old at all! It seems it should be easier the older you get once you know what life is all about, but I suppose from what I've read, that just isn't the case :-( Unfortunately, weekend trips are about all we can do right now. After DD is out of school at the end of the year (May 2007) we are relocating, so at least while my DH is stateside we can be together. He had only been home 8 months and was reactivated after being gone two years! ugh And we did not really decide we wanted to try until the month before we found he was being activated again, so... could not take full advantage of those months. As if my prayers were answered though, it appears "our weekend" two weeks from now is going to magically coincide with the perfect time. I just have to keep a positive attitude as I know that one time "at my age" does not a baby make! November and December are out because we will be trying to coordinate Holiday visits and those defnitely will not be "good" times baby-wise. But, who knows, after October, we may not need November or December for 'that' right!?
Thanks for responding, by the way, I was kind of hoping for someone to chat with now and again who may be going through this.
I really hope for the best for you and your family!!
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 6:04pm

November and December are out because we will be trying to coordinate Holiday visits and those defnitely will not be "good" times baby-wise. But, who knows, after October, we may not need November or December for 'that' right!?


Hi Lisa, welcome to the board! I am not exactly in your shoes but have
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 6:18pm
Emily,
Hi! Thanks for the response. Yes, I am so hoping that once is all it takes, but as all the doomsdayers are quick to point out at "my age" once, even with perfect timing, does not necessarily work. Actually no, November and December are out because we will be getting together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, respectively, but unfortunately "my time" is around the beginning of the month :-( so, those two months are out (not that we can't practice right?!) October we WILL be together at the right time (hopefully), so will hope for the best then! I'll keep the positive attitude and if it doesn't happen in October, then we can hopefully work something out for January or February before he goes overseas.
I'm assuming since you are on this board that you are TTC, as well? If so, I wish you much luck and every good thought. Tell me your story, if you feel like sharing.
:-)
Thanks again :-)
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:00am

Hi Lisa,


I'll be 42 in Jan.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:12pm

Hi,
Got a kick out of that! Yeah, stars rarely align once, let alone again! ha Sounds like yo have a plan, though, and that's good! I've got a plan, too, but...the best laid plans...

I agree, it will be fun getting to know each other!

I am envious of your locale -- I'm in SC, ugh still humid in late September. Thought I had beaten the heat and waited to do my run until early evening - still should have waited longer as it was still very sticky and muggy.

Have had a brutal day here with work and so no time for "leisure" on the keyboard. I'll send more tomorrow. My story is a boring one and you can tell me to stop when you've read enough!

When do you hope to start with #2?

Talk to you tomorrow
(it is Emily right? - if not please correct me!)
Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 7:20pm
Yes it's
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 7:45pm
Emily,
Have a safe and nice trip! Enjoy the Holiday. I just realized, your daughter and mine have the same birthday, although a few years apart - my daughter was born in 1993! yikes! She was born at 2:02 p.m. and weighed 6 lbs :-) Now, she is in a shoe size that's bigger than mine and wears the same size jeans, except she's not as tall as me - yet!
Okay, I'll get typing on my story ;-) It will await you upon your return! Have fun and enjoy your family.
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:10pm

Hi Lisa and Emily ,


I am also 41 and will be 42 oct 12th . My dh and I have been trying for a long time since we had his Vasectomy reversed , but his counts are still very low and because of my age we have decided to try IVF .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:24pm

Hi Mona,
Welcome! Emily is taking a little vacation (coming back tomorrow). We are just starting to get to know each other and you can join in! I still owe her a "story" on "my life", but that will have to wait until tomorrow morning as I am swamped with work tonight.

Keep positive and I will be thinking about you tomorrow. I understand the doctor not wanting to get your hopes up, but in reality, I don't think a man really understands the gut feelings women who really want to have a baby go through. Even when a man wants to have a baby, I just don't think it's the same. At least for me any way, it is almost this uncontrollable instinct, a very deep primal desire. Unfortunately, for me and it sounds like you (and thousands of others too!) people frown on our age as being "too old" and it is very, very frustrating.

I sincerely hope that you have lots and lots of eggs tomorrow and your doctor can eat his words AND freeze some eggs for later :-) Just remember anything is possible and all it takes is just one good little egg! I'm rooting for you!

I look forward to getting to know you and Emily. I think we make a good group!

Back to work for me, but wanted to send you some encouragement to take with you tomorrow!! Please post with your news upon your return - I'll be hoping all went well.
Lisa

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