New here -after loss of baby this month

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
New here -after loss of baby this month
5
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 11:38am
Hi everyone:

I've been on the over 40 pregancy board and now on the pregnancy loss board. Everyone on all the boards has been so nice and helpful. I lost my little girl at 17 weeks on June 22. I had an amino on 6/14 and by that Friday my water broke, and by the next Tuesday I was having to deliver my baby. I thought I was doing the right thing by having the amino, now I wish I had not maybe my baby would still be here.

I didn't plan the other pregnancy she was my sweet little miracle. But I had gotten very attached to the idea of a new baby in the house. I have a 18yoa DD and 5 stepchildren ranging from 31-13yoa. The 13 DD is blind and autistic (adopted). My DH and I have been married for 10 years and he is 52, 10 years older than I.

After this he said he could never go thru the loss of a child again. It devestated us both. He had lots of good reasons as to not try again: age, health (his and mine), etc. But yesterday he changed his mind. I was so happy! Nothing will replace my little angel Lacie, but I still want a baby to hold and love.

So.........question: how do I start? I know I should wait a couple of months to get my cycle back in gear, but do y'all do charts or ovulation tests or what? I want to get pregnant again quickly and want to know what would be the best way to insure conception.

Thanks,

Deidra

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:17pm
Dear Deidra,

I'm glad you came to this board. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. My heart truly goes out to you!

This is all a very personal decision, but if I were you I would seek the opinion of an RE immediately. At your (our) age, you do not have time to wait around. Even if you became pg naturally, you can get a complete assessment of your reproductive health and--importantly--possibly some idea of why you did not sustain the pg. Once you have gone through the battery of tests (it could be a month or two, most serious REs do many tests) you can determine with your DH whether to seek assistance in conceiving (again, at "our" age, if I were you I would do so, but you may feel differently).

There are other professionals that may be able to help you, such as reproductive immunologists and reproductive hematologists, as well as alternative medicine practioners. I mention these in particular because of your m/c - sometimes immune or blood issues are related to m/c, and alternative medicine may also be able to address reasons for m/c. It seems the whole m/c area is much more murky than conception, as often the reasons go unexplained.

This is all my personal opinion. Perhaps you will get other opinions on this or other boards. Whatever you decide, I truly wish you all the best and a healthy, sustained pg very soon!

Lisa, 42 (43 this month, DH 46)

TTC #1 for one year

5 failed injectibles/IUI cycles

cd 23 of "natural" cycle (not holding my breath)

day 3 of Lupron in view of July/Aug. IVF cycle

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 5:31pm
Hi Deidra,

Welcome to the board!!!! Glad you found us!!! I had met you on the other board & was so sorry to hear of your loss. I know it is devastating. It is good you are going to try again. They do suggest that you wait a couple months to get you body back in gear. The ovulation predictor kits are a good way to start. You could also add some supplements & acupuncture. There is a great book on this called the Infertility Cure.

Anything I can do to help I am just a post away.

(((HUGS)))

Lisa
Lilypie Baby Days
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 1:16pm
Thanks. I did go out and get some ovualation predictors. And I see my OB for my follow up after the m/c on 8/9. I also went to my GP and they did blood work and I seem to be in perfect health now. So I'm sure the m/c was due to the amino, since I had it on a Monday and by that Thursday I was sick and Friday my water broke. The specialist and the OB both attributed it to the amino.

I know the grass is not getting any greener under my feet and I would like to conceive by Dec. I just read on this board about the Colmid?, I think I will ask the OB about that. I don't know if he will prescribe it without me trying naturally for a couple of months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2000
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:43am
Hi Deidra,

We met also on the pregnancy board. I'm glad to see you here. I lurk here as this is where I started, and we are still debating trying for one more before we get too much further into our 40s.

Like some other posters we did the OPT. Also, I had read a lot of tips on this board last year - I think the links are at the top of the main page. I stopped drinking anything with caffiene and 5 days before ovulation used robitussin. Also, be sure you are getting enough folic acid, as it reduces chances of birth defects.

I believe all OBs are different about using fertility drugs. . .so do ask yours. I saw a doctor before we TTC, and she said for me to come back in 6 months if I was not pregnant and we would pursue fertility drugs at that point.

I know your original post was over a month ago - I hope you are finding all the help you need.

Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:12am
Thanks Deb for your response. I've kept taking the prenatals so I should be getting the vitamins and folic acid. I didn't know about caffiene but what's the robitussin for?

I remember you were in Houston too. With twins, right?

Are you trying for more?

Lots of babydust to you. '

Deidra