New here and confused about ART

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2009
New here and confused about ART
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 9:07am

Hi there

I've been posting on the TTC board for the past month or so, but I thought I might move over here and join the "big girls", lol! I'm 42 (will be 43 in January) and have been TTC #1 naturally for about 2 years now. Had two miscarriages last year (in May and December at 11 and 12 weeks, no conclusive reasons found) and have been trying again all this year w/ no luck (AF showed today).

My confusion: I live in the UK (I'm American, DH is British) and because my DH and I, after a lot of testing, aren't considered infertile (because we've gotten preg relatively recently, I'm ovulating on my own, DH's sperm analysis is "acceptible") and because of my age, I'm not eligible for IVF on the National Health Service. However time is ticking away and I'm terrified it's getting too late.

The reason I haven't been posting on this board yet is because of the fact that we aren't doing ART, and I've been scared off by not understanding all the procedures you ladies talk about. But now I'm thinking we're going to have to go private (as in, outside the NHS system) and call in the big guns--but I'm not convinced it will be effective for me, even if we're able to pay a lot of money and get it done. I'm curious whether doctors in the US are just a lot more aggressive in their approach? I'm still trying to research this and I feel very confused, and terrified that no one here is taking me seriously--my midwife and my dh's doctor are basically telling us to relax and "keep plugging away." Medical care here is much less prone to a lot of unnecessary testing and over-diagnosing, and I appreciate this approach, but jeez, I can't afford to wait and see!

I would love to think it's still possible to do this naturally, and I have several friends who have gotten preg w/out trying and had easy pregnancies (well, as easy as pregnancy ever is!) at ages 39, 40, 43, 44.... I simply refuse to give up on my dream to have children (I have always wanted to adopt also, but I need to work through this first) however I'm worried I'm the "unlucky statistic", and I don't know what to do next!

Thanks for letting me air my anxieties.... any feedback would be hugely appreciated!


PS Apparently DH and I do qualify for 3 rounds of IUI for free on the this worthwhile doing? Your thoughts? Thanks again in advance!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 3:14am

Hi and welcome here! Sorry you felt a bit overwhelmed by all the procedures, but I do know what you mean. I spent some time looking things up that first while, and I have been part of the infertility world a long time! We aren't doing much more than just natural at this point, we are only taking clomid to help things along a little. I too have had several m/c's over the years, the last one this past January. They aren't concerned yet, but if I have another one then they would be, because that would put too many in a row without a successful one in between. But it doesn't really matter, we have no plans to go as far as IUI or IVF. I am 44, and except for when I was pregnant/nursing my 3 biological babies I have been TTCing for 22 yrs and I am ready to be off this roller coaster! Well, almost, we are giving it until the end of the year, or maybe my 45th birthday in January. By then I am hoping to either be pregnant or be ready to be done.

I think if the IUI is offered for free, I would try it, just to increase the odds a little. I am also wondering if you would qualify for IVF if the three IUIs were unsuccessful. Since you have been pregnant twice already though, I am thinking that you likely won't have to do more than the IUI anyway. :-)

I am also a believer in natural treatments, I don't have a regular chiropractor now and need to find one. Oh, and you might also want to check out the recurrent pregnancy loss board for tests that can be done to rule out other things like blood clotting issues that might be causing problems in an otherwise normal pregnancy.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you stick around here. These ladies are all so supportive, it is wonderful!


Loving Mom to three


Loving Mom to three rambunctious 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Thu, 10-01-2009 - 2:01pm

Hi and welcome.

Susan L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2009
Thu, 10-01-2009 - 6:17pm

Hi Susan L., hi Michelle, thanks for welcoming me.

Just to clarify, we had a bunch of tests done after our 2nd m/c (they ran tests after 2 m/cs instead of waiting til a third because of my "AMA"). Checked me for "sticky blood" syndrome, genetic/chromosomal/karyotype issues w/ my DH and me, you name it. Nothing found to be abnormal, and the m/cs were, in the end, unexplained--just "bad luck" as my midwife put it. She told us to phone her if we weren't pregnant again in six months.

Six months came and went, with me charting to make sure we were catching my fertile time, and then we had a SA for my DH and a 21-day progesterone check for me to make sure I'm ovulating. All OK.

We didn't get in to see our GP this week due to my husband's schedule, so hopefully next week, when we can chat about IUI and being referred to a fertility specialist. (At 42 I'm considered too old for IVF for free on the NHS because of the low rate of success at this age; but I believe we can do it if we went via the private system. Either way, the NHS will still let us have 3 IUIs, from what I understand. Probably because it's a relatively cheap option.)

Apologies, btw, for dissing acupuncture--I forgot I used those pressure-point wristbands for morning sickness, and they did help a little! :)

Thanks, ladies!