New here, looking for advice or thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
New here, looking for advice or thoughts
2
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 11:16pm
Wow, I just typed a whole long story and my 3 1/2 yo DD just deleted it! I will now try again.
Ok, hi...I'm 42 and my DH is 47. We have 1 girl together, the above mentioned one...lol...and I have a 12 yo dd and 14 yo DD from a previous marriage. My DH really wants another baby. I've been telling him no, no no. I feel old, I have a list as to why I don't want any more...I had 2 m/c's and the last one was with my DH at 16 wks....it was really hard on both of us. I also have bad varicose veins and carpal tunnel syndrome that I'm about ready to get surgery for. Also feel like he and I need to get along better, have more money, have a cleaner house, etc. He also has a 14 yo God-daughter that is like his own, she comes over often.
Also, to put icing on the cake...there are 10 co-workers of ours that our pg right now!! we both work at the same place, not the same shift...so now the pressure is on me for sure. The latest pg woman at work got pg while on maternity leave! They had to do fertility treatments the first time around, and this time was natural and very quick...and she's 41!! I told her "Great, now I have to quit." My husband keeps pointing out all the older women he knows of that are pg or recently had a baby.
So today I'm thinking...maybe we should just go ahead and try for 6 months and see what happens. Am I crazy? I don't want to do this because of peer pressure or DH pressure! lol. Today I saw a couple at the park and she lifted up her shirt a little so her DH could kiss her pg belly and I thought that was so cute and loving.
My DH thinks being pg is sexy. lol.
Anyway...just wanted to vent mainly and also get some feedback.
When I read your posts about all the fertility stuff, it sounds so foreign to me, and I'm a nurse! It sounds so hard to deal with all that.
Thanks for reading. Any advice? maybe I just want to try so I can tell him I tried, and if it doesn't happen after 6 months, I'm done for sure! I just find raising kids to be a little overwhelming...maybe because I have a toddler and 2 teens??
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 1:29pm
Hi Kim (I assume that's your name) we sure have a lot of Kims here -- nice to have one more. No, you are NOT crazy at all. I have a recently turned 4YO DS and I am also 42 and want another -- so I at least know how your DH might feel about it. I think if you want another, go for it. And six months is reasonable -- if you are doing it naturally, just try for as long as feels right to both of you -- and if it happens, it happens. I can certainly understand wanting to avoid all the interventions if you can. Good luck to you and welcome.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 3:26pm

Yes, my name is Kim. I see you have a lot of Kims here. Well, I am still thinking about whether or not to try. Will keep you updated. I guess I have to laugh about 10 co-workers being pg! It's crazy there are so many of them!

Kim

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