Newbie mom wannabe 42

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Newbie mom wannabe 42
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:33pm

Hi, I'm new here. I am not sure if this is the right place to be but I'm over 40 and I have decided to turn my life towards having a child. I know the desire to have a baby is very hormonal at this age, and my sisters (who are all passing this benchmark) roll their eyes at me. Saying the feeling will pass. (All except for one sister who supports me 100% :)). Well, so what if it passes? If I try and fail at least I will have given it my best and if I succeed then I change my life towards something I've always wanted.

I do believe I have quite a few hurdles to jump through though. First of all, I'm 42, and until about a year ago, I was an overweight virgin who had never had a relationship in my life. At this point, I'd love the mom, dad, child perfect family, but with divorce rates the way they are, I don't think that is a prerequisite. I have 4 siblings and 5 nieces & nephews. This child of mine will have plenty of support around him/her. So, that leaves me looking for a father for my child, one who doesn't necessarily have to be part of our lives. Where would I find such a man? Do they exist?

As far as my health--I am a believer in alternative medicine--up to and including spiritual techniques to prepare my body for a child. I will begin chinese herbs immediately to help sort out any deficiencies and regulate my cycle. I'll be reading up on the Ivillage articles and message boards. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Well! That's me in a nutshell. Any advice, comments, rants, are welcome. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 5:02pm

My name is Eilleen and I have FINALLY decided to start TTC again @ age 47. I wanted to do this when I was 35 but I got so much negative feedback that I didn't. I do have a 29 year old son and I love him to death but I want one more.

I also am not involved in a relationship, I'm overweight and for reasons - too many to say here - I've been smoking for 2 whole years - bad me! I've decided to go ahead and use donor sperm and try to get pregnant by IUI. My own mother had her last pregnancy in her 50's which she aborted. I was born when she was 40 and my younger sister when she was 42. I'm hoping that works in my favour.

I've spent too many years worrying about all that could go wrong - all the reasons not to do this - so I've decided screw that - move on. If I don't even try, I'll never be satisfied - never be able to move on. I've been stuck on this for the past 12 years. It's now or never!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 8:54pm

Well, hello, Eilleen! Thanks for responding. Already I feel less alone. :) I look forward to hearing more as you progress through the process. I may have to go for the AI myself, so I'm very interested in how it all works for you.

Please, keep posting.