Out of lurkdom and need advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Out of lurkdom and need advice...
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 1:22pm

Hi ladies - i've been reading

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 2:26pm

Hi and welcome to the board,

Like you I just recently came out of lurking mode and just turned 45. I can only speak from my experience which is very similar to yours. I have 4 children and my DH has none although yours is much younger than mine (there's only a 3 year age difference). I had a tubal reversal at age 43 after 2 failed IVFs. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but at our age the statistics are grim with either options. You and your spouse need to decide how much money/time your willing to invest. TR is definitely the cheaper route and you can try multiple times. That said I have had second thoughts about my decision and sometimes wonder if I should have kept trying with IVF (I was a good responder for my age but it only resulted in a chemical pregnancy). Since TR 1 1/2 years ago I've had a couple chemical pregnancies. I hold on to faith and hope that it will still happen for me but I'm almost at the point of trying donor eggs. I just can't imagine not ending up with a child after everything which includes spending way too much money. I have read about women our age becoming pregnant after TR (but half end in miscarriage). I think it's a coin toss. I don't think there is a "right" decision at our age because the statistics are low either way. The one good and bad thing about TR is you get your hopes up every month but when AF comes you get disappointed every month. The one advise I can give you is to be sure your dh is on board with TTC and have a plan B (adoption, donor eggs, etc..). I wish you the best what ever your decision!


Edited 2/20/2009 2:39 pm ET by lwojo
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 2:38pm

Welcome out of lurk mode.

Yes you are blessed but that does not mean that you shouldn't have another child.

While I love giving advice I know that it is not my decision and you and your family need to make this decision together.

I do not know the statistics on a TR although I have seen people on this board who have been very successful.

Our age (I too am 44 my DH is 37) is always going to be a factor.

Susan L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sat, 02-21-2009 - 12:05am
Greetings former lurker!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Sat, 02-21-2009 - 10:40am

Hi and welcome out of lurkdom!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2005
Sat, 02-21-2009 - 10:45am

Hi and welcome to the board. I don't really have any advice for you since I have not had a TR. If you want to have another baby, go for it. I would request the tests before you make any decisions. I agree with the PP who said that figuring out what you want to commit financially is a good first step.

GL in your TTC journey.


PhotobucketLilypie 4th Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Sat, 02-21-2009 - 8:51pm

Hi and welcome. My story is very similar to yours. I am 41 (will be 42 in August). My Fiance is 37 (we are getting married April 4).


Paula = 43; Mike = 38; Tubal reversal 12/4/08, one tube reparied; Healthy baby girl born 2/16/10; PG again, EDD 3/18/11!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 1:29pm

Thanks so much for all the replies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2008
Wed, 02-25-2009 - 10:31pm
Hi, I have not had a TR but I wanted to welcome you.
Beach Scene