Scared 40 yo TTC #3

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Scared 40 yo TTC #3
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 12:56pm
Hello everyone,
I'm new to the board and wanted to introduce myself and look for some advice. I am turning 41 soon and we are TTC #3. Unfortunately, we suffered m/c last month. I am feeling so defeated and lethargic because it seems I have become another over 40 statistic. I don't know how I can feel positive about another pregnancy due to our loss. Being over 40, it seems the cards are stacked against us.
My children were very very excited when we told them we were expecting. They were making all sorts of plans about where to put the crib, what clothes would be needed, games they would play, and things to teach a new sibling. All that was shattered after my 19 week u/s which showed no HB. The baby had died at about 16.5 weeks. We were all so shocked.
We are definitely still in the grips of grief, but have decided to try again soon since our age is a factor. Does anyone have some advice on how soon it is advisable to start to try again? I want to wait long enough, but am anxious to start ASAP.
Wishing everyone the best of luck.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 3:23pm
I am so sorry for your loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 5:33pm

Welcome to the board "taylormom" and I am so sorry for your loss (as I am for the PP as well).


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 6:36pm
Welcome to the board!


Me - 44, DH-47     


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 9:50pm

Hi Taylormom and welcome. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. How devastating for you and your family.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2008
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 12:38am
So sorry about your loss. I don't have any answers...just to say've found a wonderful place...the women on this board know just what to say and give lots of hugs & support. Just remember grieving takes a lot out of take good care of yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 12:53pm
Thanks for your message. I am very sad for your losses. It helps to hear of someone else who has gone through this. I also had to give birth through induction. We opted out of d&c because of the damage it would do to the fetus since we wanted a burial.
You are so lucky to have 4 children. That's what I would have wanted since I come from a family of 5 children. I like a busy bustling home atmosphere. I grew up with that. Our house seems so silent especially after we lost our baby.
Any idea why they say that fertility is best first 3 mo after m/c?
Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 12:59pm
Hello Ruth,
I am so encouraged by your message. You seem to be a real trooper to have gone thru so much and still going toward your goal.
Haven't had AF yet. Doc said that i should expect it between 9th to 23rd of this month. Though I don't have faith in those dates since I have always been very irregular. Soon hopefully. I've never been so anxious to see AF!
I appreciate your kind thoughts and will keep you in mine as well. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 1:04pm
Hello Jessica,
Thank you for welcoming me. I feel so lucky to have found a safe place to be right now.
I noticed you've had some impressive weight loss. Way to go! I need to lose some weight also since I gained about 8 lb with pg and already needed to lose some before that anyway. I would feel better losing before next pg (i hope!) Any advice/recommendations?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 1:09pm
Hello Krista,
Thanks for welcoming me. Feel lucky to be here.
Sounds like early m/c is definitely easier to recover from, though I am sure just as devastating.
Hopefully will see AF soon!
Good luck to you in your journey.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2009
Fri, 07-17-2009 - 1:13pm
Hello Catherine,
Thanks for the warm welcome. I do feel I'm in a good place here. I am definitely taking your advice to take care of myself. I am actually being quite selfish these days. My DH and kids are extremely supportive and helpful and allow the "me" time I need.
Best of luck to you.