Should we, or shouldn't we??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Should we, or shouldn't we??
6
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 8:03pm

Hi Ladies,


Here's the scoop...I found I was unexpectedly expecting in October.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2008
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:43am
I have not been in your situation-I will say though, that if you were looking forward to having that baby, and you are feeling like someone is missing from your family, I would go for it. I am a big believer in always going with your gut! I also believe that if something is meant to be, it will be.



I hope that you are able to sort this out and maybe someone else who has been in this situation will have some advice to offer.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 3:48pm
I'm with Lesa on this one.

Susan L.


Pregnancy%20ticker

Susan L.



Robert Edward Xavier Lin - Born July 31, 2010 at 5:56AM, 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU but he's doing great now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:48pm

Hi Vicky -


I am really sorry for what you have gone through.

Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 2:42am
Welcome here Vicky! We have four children, now 14, 11, 5 and 3. Just over a year ago we found out we too had a surprise pregnancy (especially given our past issues of TTC) but then at the end of January, when I should have been 13 weeks we found out we had lost the baby. I wanted to try again right away, I had always wanted another anyway, but DH wasn't so sure. After 3 months he was on board and so from May on we have been TTCing. However, I think our journey is just about over, I am just waiting for AF to arrive to confirm that. We had talked about trying until Christmas and that has now come and gone. DH has since said that he is willing to go a little longer, but he is 45 and I will be 45 later this month, so things are not going to get any easier. I am sad that it hasn't been more successful for us, but I am much more content now than I was after our loss. I think if you have a desire for another that you should give it a go, or you will second guess yourself for years to come. At the same time, if it doesn't happen for you, then at least you will know that you tried and it will be easier to let the door close. At least that is how it is working for me. I still have my emotional and sad moments, and my 14 yr old DS told me today that he thinks we should adopt two more girls, but I am at peace with whatever God has for us in the future, another baby or not. Go with your heart. Another baby will not take away the pain and heartache of the one you lost, but if you have room in your heart and lives for another, I hope you receive your blessing.

Michelle


Loving Mom to three

Michelle


Loving Mom to three rambunctious 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 1:16pm

Lesa, Susan, Jo and Michelle,


THANK YOU so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and words of encouragement!


I've only had AF once so am supposed to wait another cycle before ttc...dh and I have been mulling it over and think we may ttc for just a few months (at least open the door to opportunity) and then if it doesn't happen I believe I can be satisfied that I tried and it was not meant to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 10:45am

Hi Vicki, I'm so sorry for your loss!!! My name is Lynda and my story is somewhat similar to yours, but slightly different. I had two children now 14 and 11 - girl and boy and was done! happy happy happy. well when i was 39 years old my periods started getting whacky and changing and my dr. told me I was probably perimenopausal. with that being told to me, i foolishly threw caution to the wind and stopped worrying about birth control. well you guessed it, i got pregnant with my now 3 year old daughter. i was shocked when i found out i was pregnant. but my little daughter has been the most wonderful addition to our family. so much, that we decided to give her a sibbling closer to her age. We began trying to have another. I got pregnant 8 months after beginning this journey. elated as can be!! i lost that pregnancy at 8 weeks. recovered as much as possible, and got pregnant again. more cautiously elated, but thinking that it wouldn't not happen again, i dreamed of this new baby and all the things it would bring. but it was not to be, as I lost that baby at 11 weeks. Once again, I found myself pregnant, but lost that baby immediately after getting the positive pregnancy tests - chemical pregnancy. 6 months later we are still trying. it's been a long and hard road, and i'm not sure how much longer i can endure this emotional rollercoaster. I pray for peace within myself to continue on with what God has planned for me, and be ok with it. whatever the outcome! I am also turning 45 this month and thinking my journey will soon come to an end. But I am not quite ready to go there. I think you should follow your heart! that is what i am doing! best of luck and lots of hugs!!

Lynda