Thinking about alternative now

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Thinking about alternative now
8
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 11:39am
I've been TTC for almost 3 years now (2 yrs and 9 months), I am 40 yrs old. I was planning on continuing but now we've found out DH's most recent test came back very bad, and we were told the only way we can conceive is IVF with ICSI. The RE told us if we use donor eggs, we have a very good chance, especially with ICSI, of getting a positive IVF. The issue for me is finances. I don't want to spend a fortune on IVFs with my own eggs (it would wipe out our retirement funds, we'd be working until the day we die). RE said if we use my eggs, we have a 5 - 10% chance of the IVF working. To me those odds aren't "impossible", its just that I don't want be financially ruined from IVFs. If we use DE, the baby will at least have a bio connection to one of us, and that's good enough for me. I also want to start decorating a nursery!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2005
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 3:25pm

This sounds sort of like my situation. My DH sperm count was low (we found out after 6 months of trying and having nothing happen) Although, our acupuncturist was able to get his count up a fair amount with her treatments and herbs. My egg quality is not the best either but the acupunturist was able to improve it enough for me to get pg but I lost it so I am still working with her to improve the quality some more. The fertility doctor put the donor egg option on the table a while back. I have had 2 IVF that were unsuccessful and now I have 2 more rounds of IVF that the insurance will cover so I am trying to wait as long as I can so that the acupuncture treatments have a better chance to work. I figured if the next IVF doesn't work, I would think about donor eggs for the last round (if it comes to that). I am also taking strong herbs to help, however I am supposed to be relaxing with no stress which is really hard for me because I have lots of stress right now and I am drinking lots of coca cola because of it. My DH and I will both be rolling onto 42 (his B-day in Jan and mine in Feb)

Hope things go well for you

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 4:01pm

I know what you mean about going broke using your own eggs. We had a great response to our two IVF's but no implantation. We are now 30K in the hole with empty arms.


If we stay w/ our present RE in Western PA, the cost of DE is around 23K. They are just starting up the program and we need to talk to him further. One thing I want to ask him is if they would consider donor sharing. We go together w/ another couple to share the eggs from one donor. They get 1/2 and we get 1/2. We share the expense for the donors meds, procedure and compensation 50/50. That's one idea and I don't know if they would do that. Plus we would have to find someone who wanted the same donor we did.


Another idea we are kicking around is doing IVF internationally. I met someone on the IVF board that went to Mexico. She just gave birth to a healthy 8 lb girl. Donor eggs are $3500 with meds. There's

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 9:07pm

Thanks for the info about the Mexican clinic. I check out that link and think about it, but it seems so much easier to do it in my home city (Dallas). Although Mexico wouldn't be far to travel. I have heard that international IVFs are much less expensive. I'm thinking a donor egg IVF would have a very good chance of success, especially since we are doing ICSI (ICSI produces more success rates) and then combined with the much "younger" eggs, I'm thinking we'd have a 75% chance of it working, with a good RE. The donor sharing is also a good thing, I will have to see if any clinics around here provide that option.

I am going to try one IVF cycle w/my own eggs then do DE. But so far, my RE hasn't been able to really let me do a cycle, because of my sky high estradiol levels.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 10:22am

Sounds like you have a plan. For me, when I used my own eggs, ICSI actually seemed to damage them. We did 1/2 ICSI and 1/2natural fertilization. All of the eggs fertilized naturally made it, only one w/ ICSI did.


The second IVF we did all natural and they all fertilized. My RE said that older eggs might have been damaged by all the handling. I'm sure though that it would be OK w/ younger eggs though and many women have had much success with ICSI.


Wishing you much luck with whatever you decide !


Keep us posted !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 11:17am

thanks, I'm hoping we will have success with the ICSI. I've only ever heard good things about it. I did not realize it could damage older eggs, but since we will be using "young" eggs I guess its not an issue.

I'm going to try for one more cycle using my own, this month. I've had countless number of cancelled cycles, due to ovarian cysts and high estradiol. The only IVF I ever tried, was cancelled after one week of injections. I may never get to do IVF w/my own eggs, and my estradiol is so high it may never go down - even when I get older and go through menopause. I've been doing acupuncture/herbs for almost a year, and the E2 has gone down only slightly, but is still way too high. I've just accepted that and want a baby now. I've found this donor who is really beautiful, I think I want her to be our donor. She is hispanic (we are anglo), and smaller-boned than I am, but otherwise, she resembles me a great deal. I am not 100% positive yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:35pm

Good luck to you. I will be praying that your dreams come true. I'm kind of like you are. I told my DH that this time next year i want a baby in the house or at least a plan as to where we are going to go. I don't want another Christmas with no idea what's happening next. We are waiting on God but need to be proactive as far as I'm concerned.


DH seems to just want to wait and wait. I just bought the book "A spiritual path to overcoming infertility" by Daniel McQuaid. I'll let you know how it is. I just met someone last night who showed me a pictute of his 3 year old. 8 IUI's, 7 IVFs and $225,000 later they got their miracle. Of course he is an airline captain and had the money to spend. All I can say is if we had the money to spend, we would be doing it too. Wish i could win the lottery but I guess I need to start buying tickets ! LOL !


As far as acupuncture goes, I'm a HUGE believer in it. My first IVF, I had a lining of 7.5 but had only done ac for 2 months. My second IVF I did it for the 7 months since the first and my lining was triphasal and almost 10. It looked beautiful on the u/s. My RE still wonders why it didn't work....said it just must be my eggs.


But, I'm still believing in miracles.


Sounds like you've made some steps in finding your donor. I would be fine using a hispanic donor also as i am 1/2 Romanian and have the Eastern European olive skin. That's why I'm thinking of going to Mexico. It would be so much less expensive than DE here. My DH just isn't into it much though.


DH and I need to sit down and have a serious talk soon and I'm going to broach the subject this weekend---find out exactly where he wants to go.


As I said above, I'll be praying for you. Keep us posted ! Any idea when you will be starting your cycle ? Any timeline from your RE about your E2 going down?


Stay

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 7:34pm
Let me know how the Daniel McQuaid book is.
Yes, acupuncture has worked in a sense for me, my cycles are longer now. They used to be 21 days, now they are 28 - 29 days.
If you do decide to go to Mexico, I hope everything works out with the DE cycle. I think DE IVFs have a great chance of success! Why does your DH not want to do it? Is he not interested in DE, or not interested in traveling to Mexico for it?
I will try to start another cycle in 3 weeks.
That's a beautiful cat in your picture; what breed is he?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 11:46pm

DH doesn't want to go to Mexico because he envisions the clinic to be some dirty back neighborhood clinic. I have told him that from what I've heard, it's a beautiful state of the art clinic. I am thinking of taking a weekend vacation down there to check it out. Why not. Spend a grand to go on vacation and check out a clinic or spend 23 grand for something that may not work ? So, we shall see.


Thank you for complimenting "Miss Shally". She is a lynx point Siamese. I rescued her from www.siameserescue.org she was a canadien show cat kept in a cage most of her life. It took a long time to work with her and socialize her....now after 4 years she is such a love. Keeps me sane dealing w/ all this IF stuff. I know if i did get pg, she'd be extremely jealous...she's very spoiled !


Do you have any pets ???

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